Take The Next Step

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Take The Next Step

Are you getting frustrated with the all consuming time it takes online dating?

I help professional men and women heal after ending a long term relationship, so they can have the confidence to start dating again.

08/02/2026

Learn to communicate instead of withdrawing.

It's essential to challenge old narratives and understand your emotional patterns.
If dating has felt confusing, overwhelming, or emotionally exhausting lately, remember that there is nothing wrong with you. What you're experiencing is a result of your nervous system trying to protect you based on past relationships, and it hasn't yet realised that you're safe now.

Relationship Anxiety is very real when dating in midlife, and it can trigger emotional responses.

Preparation is key to ensuring sustainability in relationships. When two prepared hearts come together, there is peace instead of chaos.

If this resonates with you, download my FREE guide to Navigating Midlife Relationship Anxiety at
https://www.takethenextstep.nz/relationship-anxiety-triggers

19/01/2026

Dating in midlife often brings forth a range of fears. Many may experience a fear of loss, fear of past pain, or fear of being vulnerable again. These fears can linger for a long time and may even delay action.

Choosing honesty over protection is essential. Is fear keeping you trapped in possibilities and stagnation? When fear dominates, the heart can become consumed with imagined outcomes. While fear drains energy, courage has the power to restore it.

Common fears in midlife dating include the fear of moving forward, making the wrong decision, experiencing another failed relationship, or wasting time. It's crucial to release fear, doubt, and anxiety to move forward with confidence and ease.

Understanding your triggers is a vital step in this journey. I assist midlife professionals in healing after ending long-term relationships, empowering them to date again with renewed confidence.

14/12/2025

Challenge your limits.

08/12/2025

Being mindful of your boundaries when dating in midlife is essential.

The excitement of a new connection can be invigorating, and communication often flows easily. However, after several months, it's easy to lose yourself in the relationship. If life throws a curveball and one party goes silent, you may find yourself texting more frequently than they are. While checking in is important, ensure that your messages are being reciprocated before overextending yourself.

Anxiety around communication can indicate anxious attachment. It's crucial to recognize when to step back to avoid exhaustion. Remember, messaging should be a two-way street.

To maintain balance, focus on centering yourself. Engaging in prayer and meditation can be beneficial, as well as participating in activities you enjoy, catching up with friends, or spending time outdoors. Prioritising self-care is vital in nurturing your well-being.

05/12/2025

Have you been on the dating wheel after ending a long term relationship, and realised that you are just not ready?
That you still need to do some inner work? Touched on some inner wounds that still need to be healed?

I help midlife professionals heal after ending a long term relationship so they have the clarity and confidence to start dating again.

If this resonates with you, reach out for a free consultation, full confidentiality guaranteed, let's see if we can work together.
Warmly Kirstin :)

01/12/2025

Monday motivational...

'sallgoingtobealright

16/10/2025

Avoidance attachment behavior is not what you think? Do you know your triggers? Or are you dating someone with avoidant attachment behavior?

Avoidance attachment is craving intimacy but also having a fear of it as well.

If you are someone dealing with avoidant attachment behaviour this can stem back to your childhood where you may have had a significant other/ carer who rejected, hurt, put you down on an emotional level or your emotional needs were not met, in some cases this can be extreme.

As a protective mechanism you put up a shield of armor to protect yourself. Not needing or wanting anyone to get too close, you hold them at arms length if you do or retreat if anyone tries to get too close. This is your protective mechanism. You convince yourself that you don't need anyone, that distance is safety.

Or if you have been in a relationship where you were always put down, criticised or rejected on some level or had to earn your love.
You may not even realise that you do this.

Or are you dating someone who has Avoidance attachment tendencies?

I find this topic and behavior fascinating. Avoidance behavior is definitely not what you think.

25/08/2025

Be good to yourself.

19/07/2025

Have you had enough of being on your own after ending a long-term relationship? Would you like support to help you get back on the dating wheel? A dating confidence reset. Confidence to put yourself back out there.

I offer an eight week program which covers :

REFLECTION; reflect on what you have learned from the relationship about yourself and what you are wanting in a new relationship moving forward.

RELEASE; through transformational coaching there is a release of negative emotions and limiting beliefs identified that don't serve you, to help rebuild your self esteem.

REDISCOVER; a new identity is being formed. Rediscovering a 'new you'. New interests, new passions. A plan is put in place for the future. Ready for a new relationship. Confidence to start dating again.

If this interests you, sign up for a FREE Confidence Dating Reset. Total confidentiality guaranteed.

15/07/2025

One of our vulnerabilities and fears that can come up when you start dating and connecting with someone new after ending a long=term relationship is a fear of rejection.

This is a big one for alot of people especially of you have been hurt in the past.

Some of our fears can be triggered, and sometimes they can be deep fears from our childhood.

If you are in this situation, reach out and I can send you an exercise that can help you find where the root cause of your fear stems from.

It is a limiting belief exercise. You will need to set aside 3-4 hours of quiet space to reflect and question yourself on this. It can be confronting but very revealing.

It may just give you the clarity that you need.

11/07/2025

When we start forming a connection and opening our heart with someone new after ending a long-term relationship our vulnerabilities will come up. Triggers can come up.

Past wounds of the past may come up, that we still need healing from. This can be a time of separation, healing and reflection.

Nurture yourself during this time. As much as possible keep the communication lines open. Even if it is only small, a short text to say ' I am thinking of you', ' my heart is with you' can be enough.

Listen to the small promptings as well. It is important to be looking after yourself during this time. Sometimes space is just what is needed.

Communication is also needed, communicating you understand each other.

Dating in midlife is so different from dating in our 20's or even 30's.
If you both love each other, love will find a way.

06/07/2025

Dating anxiety after a long-term relationship is real - especially in midlife. It can hold you back from opening your heart and moving forward.

That's why I have created this FREE worksheet to help you identify your personal relationship anxiety triggers and guide you on how to overcome them - so you can start building the confidence to move forward with ease.

Sign up now to get your worksheet and take the first step toward confident dating. ❤️

www.takethenextstep.nz/relationship-anxiety-triggers

Address

Lake Hawea
Wanaka
9382

Telephone

+64272298960

Website

http://www.takethenextstep.nz/

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