ĀHUA Psychology

17/11/2025

Healthy boundaries aren’t supposed to isolate you. But somewhere along the way, “self-care” got mixed up with “I never have to feel uncomfortable.”

There’s a difference between protecting your wellbeing and using boundaries to avoid hard conversations, awkward moments, or being accountable.

We’ve all been there, so no judgement. But I think it’s important to differentiate..

Healthy boundaries ask you to be clear, not perfect. Honest, not avoidant. Willing to stay in the conversation long enough to actually be understood.

And yes, they’ll ask you to feel a little uncomfortable sometimes. But that’s the cost of depth, trust, and relationships that feel safe and secure. The best kind 😌

06/11/2025

Connection to your emotions doesn’t mean they lead. It means you listen before you act.

You can feel angry without sending the text.
You can feel lonely without messaging your ex.
You can feel anxious without cancelling your plans.
You can feel frustrated without giving up.

The goal isn’t to suppress or explode, it’s to notice.

Name the emotion.

Feel it in your body.

Then ask yourself, “what action actually lines up with who I want to be?”

Emotional awareness ≠ emotional obedience.

Often we just need to LEARN how to feel our emotions without letting them take control.

Keen?

03/11/2025

After years of sitting with people’s stories (and my own), a few things have become pretty clear:

Most of what looks like “overthinking” is under feeling.

Most of what looks like “the problem” isn’t actually the problem.

And most of us are far more alike and far less broken than we realise.

He mihi nui to all my couragous clients for being my greatest teachers 💙

30/10/2025

Everyone wants to be understood, but few are willing to be seen 🫣

It’s easier to act unbothered than admit you care…but that “chill” act can also be fear in disguise.

Deep connection (if that’s what you’re craving) starts when you stop performing calm and start letting people actually see you 👀

Tag someone who sees the real you ❤️

30/10/2025

Everyone wants to be understood, but few are willing to be seen 🫣

It’s easier to act unbothered than admit you care, but that “chill” act can be fear in disguise.

Real connection starts when you stop performing calm and start letting people actually see you 👀

Tag someone who sees the real you ❤️

30/10/2025

Everyone wants to be understood, but few are willing to be seen. It’s easier to act unbothered than admit you care…but that “chill” act is usually fear in disguise 🫣

Real connection starts when you stop performing calm and start letting people actually see you 👀

Tag someone in your life who sees the real you…

22/09/2025

I keep seeing people talk about “nervous system regulation” like it’s some kind of permanent zen mode, but it’s not 😑

That thinking is a slippery slope. It’s unrealistic (and honestly unhealthy) to expect to stay “calm” 24/7 🧘🏽

Regulation is about way more than staying chill.. but it’s not about losing your s**t either (in the form of yourself and others through a complete loss of control) 😓

True regulation isn’t about shutting our response down, it’s about working with it 🤝

Lettingg the energy move through so your body can reset.. (without causing harm) 💃🏾😌👌🏽🥲😮‍💨🏃🥵💦🫨🪇🫠

What helps you come back to centre?

09/09/2025

Self assurance is a quiet confidence in one’s own ability and character, independent of success of failure.

Is your self assurance built on outcomes, or something deeper?

04/09/2025

Pressure isn’t the problem. Overcontrol is.

When the heat is on, your brain scrambles for safety by gripping tighter.

This can look like:

Fixating on skills that normally flow with ease

Forcing “positive” thoughts while wrestling with the negative ones

The result?

Skills feel clunky instead of automatic (reinvestment theory).

Negative thoughts grow louder the harder you try to shut them down (ironic process theory).

You end up stuck in your head, not in the moment…making it harder to actually perform.

The good news: there’s a better way than white knuckling control…

24/08/2025

Medication and surface level strategies can be helpful, they quiet the noise. But they don’t rewire the system that created the noise in the first place.

You’re not born anxious or depressed. What happens is your genetics, temperament, and life experiences interact… and that cocktail shapes your risk.

Genes set the stage, but environment writes the script.
That’s the diathesis stress model (Caspi et al., 2003; Sullivan et al., 2000).

Your biology may make you more sensitive but it’s your environment, relationships, trauma, and coping patterns that pull the trigger.

That’s why symptom only treatment is often short lived. Relapse rates are high unless you address the underlying causes (Hollon et al., 2005).

And that’s also why you can’t just “think” your way out of it.

Those patterns are stored in the body and brain, and until they’re properly reprocessed, your system keeps firing as if the threat is still here.

Real healing means getting to the roots:

🌱 Untangling the old patterns your brain wired for survival

🌱 Reprocessing the experiences your system never fully digested

🌱 Teaching your body it’s grounded in the present, not stuck in the past

That is how anxiety and depression become part of your past, not your daily reality.

22/08/2025

It’s good to see the government finally taking Aotearoa’s mental health crisis seriously, but it’s concerning that this is their chosen solution. Right now, we’ve got hundreds of capable psychology graduates who’ve already done the hard yards with a Master’s degree, only to be shut out of Postgraduate Psychologist Training programmes. Not because they’re not capable, but because these programmes are so under resourced and hypercompetitive that only a handful can get through each yearr.

Instead of lowering the bar to a bachelor’s level and asking under-trained grads to handle mental healthcare, why not invest in expanding postgraduate training so more people can become fully registered psychologists? That way we strengthen the workforce properly and the public gets the quality of care they deserve.

It’s good to see the government finally taking the mental health crisis seriously... but it’s concerning that this is their chosen solution. Right now, we’ve got hundreds of capable psychology graduates who’ve already done the hard yards with a Master’s degree, only to be shut out of Postgraduate Psychologist Training programs. Not because they’re not capable, but because these programmes are so under-resourced and hyper competitive that only a handful can get through each year :/

Something to be mindful of over the next year or so...

https://www.thepress.co.nz/nz-news/360798887/dumbing-down-fears-linger-new-psychology-assistant-role-gets-green-light?fbclid=IwY2xjawMVLolleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBicmlkETFkUzlXYXRCQjRzZThHTzM5AR6GpmP0gAhqlxJarZh2veCI9SkPcLe9ZeWusyLndK3tWg7Z5TOSgyxBpxv3gg_aem_06Fvj1yI6ewX8zAbXTTMsw

Despite concerns from the industry it could dumb down the profession and increase workloads, the new role could be in place next year.

21/08/2025

Imagine your 80 year old self living a single day in your life today. What would they notice, savour, hold onto, or do differently?

Share in the comments below 👇🏽