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The Negrense Psychologist, Bacolod CIty (2026)

02/02/2026

One day, I tried to help unhook blue crabs from a fisherman’s net. I thought it would be simple. It was not.

The crabs were tangled, resisting, sharp, and heavy with the sea. It took time, patience, and careful hands just to free a few. In that moment, I saw what their daily work really looks like. Hard, slow, demanding, and often underpaid. They sell the catch for just enough to put food on the table.

That quiet struggle reminded me of the same hard work I saw from my late father.

Providing is difficult. Staying is difficult. And kids feel all of it.

They notice who shows up without being asked. They notice who disappears without saying why. Over time, they understand the quiet truth of who was there and who was not.

Being a parent is not about the label. It is about presence on ordinary days. It is about remaining even when it is inconvenient, tiring, or uncomfortable.

Children grow up seeing everything. Not with anger, but with clarity.

Time reveals things gently but completely.

In the end, nothing needs to be explained.

Love speaks.
Presence speaks.

I looked at the sky and said silently,
“Thanks, Pa.”

01/02/2026

Your past month tested you.
So start this month differently.

Not with pressure.
Not with guilt.
Not with pretending you have everything figured out.

Start it with honesty.

We are imperfect.
We get tired.
We fall behind.
We doubt ourselves.

But we are still trying.

And sometimes, trying is the most courageous thing you can do.

So breathe. Reset. Show up again.

This month is not about being flawless.
It is about being willing.

Begin there.

31/01/2026

If you have ever ridden a jeepney, lost in your thoughts, trying hard to distract yourself so the tears would not fall,

If you have ever cried in a restroom just to hide the pain from everyone else,

If you have ever fallen asleep in tears because your body could not even explain how tired it was,

I am deeply sorry you had to go through that alone.

That kind of pain is quiet. The kind people do not notice. The kind you carry without saying a word.

But let this be clear.

You were never weak for feeling that way.
You were strong for getting through what no one else saw.

You are still here.

You made it through nights
you thought you would not survive.
You carried pain no one ever noticed
and still showed up the next day.

And that strength is the reason you are still here.

Stay with hope.
Keep going forward.

30/01/2026

You don’t have to be exhausted to deserve a break. You don’t have to finish everything
before you pause. You don’t have to prove anything before you rest.

Rest is not something you earn after suffering.
It’s something your body and mind naturally need.

So if you feel tired, step back.
If you feel drained, slow down.
And please don’t feel guilty for taking care of yourself.

Rest. Breathe. Continue later.

30/01/2026

Moving on is not easy. We admit the loneliness. We admit the memories. We admit how hard it is to forget a love that once felt like home.

At first, pain is loud.
We wake up and the silence reminds us of what is gone. We find ourselves looking for what is no longer there. We almost get used to being alone. We almost get comfortable staying in that sadness.

But life does not stop.

Slowly, very slowly, something inside us begins to wake up. Not because the pain is gone, but because we are starting to get tired of carrying it every day. We begin to realize that holding on hurts more than letting go.

Moving on is not immediate. It does not happen when people tell us to be strong. It happens when we are finally ready. When we accept that what happened is real. When we stop asking “why” and start asking “what now.”

Life continues.

We don’t forget. We don’t erase.
We learn. We accept. We stand up again.

We challenge our world again.

Because no matter what we went through, no matter who left, no matter what broke inside us… sabi ng Neocolours…

tuloy pa rin.

29/01/2026

One day in court, a judge asked me,
“Do you have anything to add?
Any insight about the case?”

I simply said,
“I hope and pray the client follows through with the recommended treatment.”

That was it. Short lang. Honest lang po ako. Reality inside my heart.

Because outside the courtroom,
I see the other side of the story.

I see parents whispering to each other in hallways, computing how they can afford the next medication.
I see families confused about where to go,
who to ask, what to do next.
I see clients who want help
but cannot reach it.
Not because they don’t care.
But because access, cost, distance, fear,
and stigma stand in the way.

Management of mental health
is not just about diagnosis.
It’s about removing the barriers
that stop people from receiving care.

Today, we are fortunate. Mental health is finally being recognized by agencies, companies, families, and communities. There are leaders who speak about it. LGUs that create programs. Advocates who push for change.

But recognition is 𝙣𝙤𝙩 the finish line.

We still need to work harder.
Collaborate more.
Educate more.
Normalize more.

Because real progress happens
when help is 𝙣𝙤𝙩 only available
but reachable, affordable, and acceptable.

And until that happens, our job is 𝙣𝙤𝙩 done.

29/01/2026

Stop forcing what clearly doesn’t want to stay.

If you have to chase the conversation, beg for the friendship, or chase or prove yourself just to be loved, that’s already your answer. Real connections don’t feel like hard work. They feel natural, light, and mutual.

Let things be.
What stays, stays.
What falls apart, let it go.

Peace begins the moment you stop forcing.

26/01/2026

Annulment reflections.

I was asked to evaluate a case recently. After lunch, I found myself reflecting on a few realizations.

Many people overlook what truly makes a relationship healthy because healthy love is quiet, stable, and free from drama.

We often mistake emotional intensity, jealousy, and conflict as signs of passion. Because these feel intense and exciting, we assume they mean the relationship is deep and meaningful. We become drawn to what is emotionally stimulating instead of what is emotionally safe.

But green flags look different.

They show up as consistency, clear communication, respect for boundaries, emotional maturity, and genuine care. These do not create chaos or adrenaline, so they are easily labeled as “ordinary or boring.”

The truth is, many of us get used to trouble and mistake it for love. We believe we can fix people. We think pain is part of caring. And we forget that real love should make us feel calm, not tired, worried, or confused.

Healthy love feels peaceful.
Healthy love is consistent.
Healthy love shows respect and gives reassurance.

And that is the kind of love we all deserve.

23/01/2026

The Appeal of a Family Court Judge

“𝘐 𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘧𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘱𝘴𝘺𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘴: 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳, 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘶𝘴 𝘶𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘍𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺.”

These were the strong words of Hon. Maritess Gumahin, Presiding Judge of RTC Branch 51, Hall of Justice, Bacolod City, addressed to our students. It was not an ordinary line. It was a call to responsibility.

She reminded these future psychologists that their work does not end in the testing room, the clinic, or the classroom. Every assessment written, every recommendation made, and every opinion formed reaches beyond paper. It enters homes, marriages, children, and entire family systems. Psychology is not only about understanding behavior; 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚, 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙩, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬.

To uphold the Filipino family is not to defend every marriage at all costs. It is to defend truth, safety, dignity, and psychological well-being within the family.

It is to recognize
when a family needs healing,
when it needs protection,
and when it needs the courage
to let go of what is already harmful.

And as we listened to Judge Gumahin,
the realization was simple and firm:
Yes. This is our profession.

22/01/2026

Age does not close doors; hesitation does.

You are never past the point of beginning again. New goals and new dreams do not expire with age. What matters is the courage to pursue what still stirs your spirit, no matter when you start.

A new dream is always possible.

Set the goal.
Chase the dream.
Begin again.

22/01/2026

Beyond reasonable doubt

Listening to Judge PJ Fernand "CJ" Castro speak about how decisions are made in court was a powerful reminder of the weight carried by every legal conclusion. A judge does not decide based on emotions, impressions, or sympathy. A decision must stand on evidence that meets the standard of beyond reasonable doubt. He emphasized that every detail matters, every inconsistency is examined, and every claim must be supported by clear, credible proof.

Judge Castro’s message is clear: prudence matters. Careful analysis is required. As judges weigh evidence before a verdict, psychologists must weigh data before an opinion.

In both fields, the duty is the same: decide based on truth you can prove, not opinions you can explain.

With this learning, “Thank you, Your Honor.” ✨

22/01/2026

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The Negrense Psychologist

02/02/2026

01/02/2026

31/01/2026

30/01/2026

30/01/2026

29/01/2026

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26/01/2026

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