04/03/2026
Sexist, misogynistic comments leave a scar. π©Ή
Three years ago, I was just quietly working on a shared desk in the clinic over lunch when I heard our all-women staff talk about their concerns over a comment given by a man who was helping us at work.
"Muubos daw ang value sa bayi, Ms. if lapas na 25.", said the staff.
I blew up in the most graceful way I can and decided to do something about it. Unfortunately, I was told by men to "calm down and not let my feelings blind me" and "what if ipa-publicly apologize and ma-forgive ra".
I was enraged and of course, my immune system decided to protect me in the best way it knew how... by gaining weight. Then, I got sick for a week.
While they did apologize and I did settle for the justice that was only available, the rage I feel still stay deep in my soul.
I studied in an all-girls school. We rise above the shame, injustice, and expectations by being taught to see that the value of a woman is beyond body and age. We were taught that our kind of leadership is collaborative, and that belief that women do have an impact in any field we plant ourselves in. Yes, that was part of our curriculum.
But being taught that doesn't mean the world will see the same. The "fight" against patriarchy is still on. We're still out here trying to protect ourselves coz safety doesn't seem to exist. Suggestions on how to avoid being violated are given but honestly, all we women want are just softness and safe spaces.
Let's create our sense of safety instead. Yet hopefully, we don't isolate ourselves in the process. Healing from the scars of womanhood has been such a challenging yet wonderful journey.
As a single woman in my 30s, I try my best to make myself feel safe by being:
- strong-bodied by choosing to be healthy;
- strong-minded by learning as much as I can coz knowing is really powerful;
- strong-hearted by practicing empathy and compassion, yet boundaried;
- strong-souled by radiating calm fierceness.
For this women's month, let's heal by emerging together.
See you at Pagsubang.