http://randydellosa.wix.com/randydellosa

The Randy Dellosa Company, Kamuning (2025)

26/02/2019

Individualism and Teamwork

This entry is about teamwork and the need for self-fulfillment. On the one hand, we want to prove to ourselves and to others that we can carry our burdens and meet our responsibilities. On the other hand, we have to return to the idea that it takes an entire team to accomplish the goal set before us. We are not experts at everything. Everyone has something to contribute. One might be an expert in numbers. Another might be an expert in decision-making. But what if there are no available experts for a particular task? Or what if people are disinterested, unmotivated, or desiccated? Furthermore, in an uncompromising environment, members will be at a standstill. Tensions arise and frustrations mount. Someone might end up breaking down and productivity is rapidly replaced by damage control.

What is the solution? Is there even a solution? A team with clear roles and functions might be able to get through these situations. What does it take to arrive at a team with clear roles and functions? Iteration. Systems might not work out perfectly at the start. What matters is that members of the team regularly meet to discuss what works and what does not work. Regular sessions solely dedicated to obtaining suggestions and recommendations related to operation may be set. It is important to note that even by just talking about one’s duties and responsibilities, a lot of the stress and tension can be relieved. Of course, these sessions have to be conducted properly. A diplomatic person should be assigned to moderate these discussions.

Photo by Dylan Gillis

25/02/2019

The Times

“Ordinary” is something one usually advises against. Yet one can’t help but wonder if “living simply so others may simply live” is a good motto to live by. From the many stories of grandeur and extravagance, and from the many stories of loss and poverty, one casts a sideways glance to nothingness, distant and detached, emptily hoping maybe. There are those who long for a better quality of living for their fellows, and there are those who are influencing policy to enact changes that would lead to the quality of life every human being deserves. Sadly, there are many impediments, many conflicting interests, and many irreparable relationships. Truly, the condition of many is bound and chained to a few.

That is why many people are working together to do their part in helping others. These ordinary individuals, through their extraordinary passions and persistence, brave through the challenges of the new world, bridging old traditions and the conflicts that stem from them, with new thoughts and perspectives, attaining a harmony befitting our progress as a whole.

At the end of the day, however, these people might grow tired and weary. They come home beat, satisfied maybe, but definitely beat and worn. Indeed, those who help need help in return. From psychosocial support to innovation organizations to think tanks to consortiums and many more, one would eventually have to rely on others. And that’s okay. We are all in this together. It’s just that some need time. Just that—time.

Photo by Yoga Purnama Putra

24/02/2019

Starting Out

Starting out might be scary at first. It’s even harder when there is no one to guide us on what to do and where to go. Where should I be? What are other people doing with their lives? Should I also be doing what they are doing? How come other people seem to know where to go and even how to get there? Am I the only one lost? We may come to believe that we are the only ones who feel lost, and given a fast-paced world, we might be pressured into doing something we do not really want or feel rightly doing. The problem is worsened when people pressure us into doing something or into committing in something. After all, at the end of the day, it our lives, our thoughts, our feelings, and our future.

In the vastness of the universe, in the many potential futures we see, tease, and entertain, there are intersections of possibilities that suit what we want and what others want. Our parents might want us to become doctors, and we might want to become doctors, and we might have the resources and intelligence to become doctors, and we might actually follow through to become doctors. However, what’s more usual for us is that we want to get into something that we somehow found to our liking.

And that is key—we found something. And to find something, we have either to actively look or to “simply experience.” We have to go out and see the what the world has in store for us one way or another, until we come back and discover that something—that is, ourselves.

Photo by Manki Kim

08/10/2018

At the Plane of Stars

The Overview Effect is popularly known as a shift in perspective wherein things that mattered a whole lot seem shallow all of a sudden. Several examples might include once feeling extremely passionate about love to becoming more temperate, once feeling the need for immediate revenge to letting things run a fairer trial, once caring about stock portfolios to absolutely not caring at all in the end, etc. Attributed to what astronauts experienced upon returning home to Earth, the overview effect is a realization and appreciation of how small we humans are compared to the vastness of the universe. We might come to realize how shallow our conflicts are or how shallow our pursuits have become. As contrasted to hedonism, or the pursuit of ultimate pleasure, the overview effect might cause us to seek something else in life.

Of course, very few people become astronauts, leaving and returning to planet Earth. Fortunately, several practices lead to similar outcomes, such as gratitude, mindfulness, hypnotherapy, meditation, yoga, prayer, etc. The best way to make use of these is to find an expert or teacher. Although we can begin our journeys on our own, eventually we might see the need for further enlightenment. Who knows? Maybe we might discover a thing or two about ourselves and the universe.

Photo by Tobias Kebernik

06/10/2018

The Face of Tomorrow

Take things slowly. In a fast-paced society, we might feel the need to immediately do something with our God-given lives. Compounded with nags and comparisons from other people, we become distraught and disheartened. First things first: What do we need to accomplish for the day? If we have nothing planned, then maybe we can start cleaning our workspace. We can take out the trash, do the dishes and laundry, organize and sort our papers and other belongings, and then take a quick shower. We can relax a bit. Then, we can begin working. If we are still in school, then we should work on our assignments and projects. If we are working, then we should review our responsibilities and obligations. We can practice, rehearse, and improve. If we feel we are not up to the task, we can think about asking for help. Who can help us? Creating a list of reliable people helps. It might surprise us that other people are more than willing to help us if we have started helping ourselves.

There is no shame in not being as productive or intelligent or talented as other people. Let them get ahead and do not worry about them. Instead, focus on improving yourself. Do you want to lose weight? Do you want to learn how to cook? What about picking up a skill or two like playing the guitar or singing or drawing comics or writing stories. We might find ourselves naturally moving forward, feeling a sense of belongingness—in our own selves.

Photo by SHTTEFAN

05/10/2018

Reverse Life

There are times when we feel that our lives have turned upside down. It may be that we discovered something horrible about ourselves or about someone close to us. We might repeatedly think to ourselves, “This can’t be happening,” “No way this is real,” or “Please no.” Time moves forward, however, and the aftermath of our discovery can either make or break us. Usually, we retreat from the world and become reticent, speaking infrequently and avoiding socializing. On the other hand, we might practice self-harm such as partying and drinking excessively, arguing aggressively, and picking fights uncontrollably.

There are ways out of this. Make no mistake! While most of us undergoing some form of trauma are already incredibly self-aware, there is still the matter of having a real and true expert manage our self-awareness, thoughts, reflections, and daily habits. Having real and true experts is the crucial part. There is a good chance we are put under inadequate care, thereby exacerbating our problems instead of solving them. Another issue that we might encounter is, “How can we tell if our professionals are competent?”

Unfortunately, as with doctors, second and even third opinions matter. Unlike with doctors, however, mental health problems might be harder to treat, because our illnesses might not be attributable to any single source. At the end of the day, we owe it to ourselves to find the best care possible.

Photo by Breno Bitencourt

16/07/2018

Triumph

Success might come easily to some of us, but for the rest it might take a long and arduous journey, with a lot of hiccups, hurdles, and hardships. One such hardship is the emotional toll of feeling lonely at the top. There is a saying: “The winner stands alone.” It is based on the immediate consequence that there can only be one who comes out top in an actual race.

Supposedly, those who do not make it to the top feel bitter and resentful towards those who do and towards themselves. Several thoughtful, or paternalistic, organizers like parents and teachers make up for this by handing out participation medals, certificates, and awards. While obtaining a physical proof of our efforts might be a good thing, some say that this does not really address the problem—that eventually people will still grow bitter. This is because later down the road, these very same people might not get anything for their efforts. If they grew up gaining something but later down the line nothing, then the problem might even be exacerbated.

The solution is to just keep swimmin’, so the saying goes. Life has enough problems for us to deal with than become resentful of others’ success. Unless someone has wronged us to attain success, then we should focus on what we already have, the friends close to us, the family we’ve got, and all the rest.

Photo by Ethan Hoover

30/06/2018

The Times We Feel Lonely

Loneliness is one of the pillars of songwriting, aside from love and partying. There are many forms of loneliness—psychological loneliness stemming from sexual, substance, or other forms of abuse, interpersonal loneliness from having no one to talk to or share with, intellectual loneliness due to the absence of people who could understand your thoughts and ideas, existential loneliness, cultural loneliness, etc. There’s also what’s called the overview effect, wherein we suddenly see the world differently. It’s one form of self-induced loneliness, the shifting of perspective.

There are many ways to deal with loneliness. Some recommend going out and meeting new people, some say quitting jobs and finding new ones, and still there are others who insist it is all in the head. It’s not all in the head, for the body can feel the effects of loneliness even before the person becomes aware of it.

Fighting loneliness is difficult. A wise recommendation is to let the wave of loneliness allow to catch us and then to just ride along it. In this sense, we do not necessarily have to seek someone to talk to. We could spend the time to ourselves, reading a book, watching a show, or listening to music. This is counter to the recommendation to seek out friends. While friends are definitely important, there are times when they are not available. Some of us might get angry at them for not being there for our loneliness. We have to understand, however, that before our friends, are ourselves.

Photo by Julie Johnson

21/06/2018

On the Value of Childhood

Childhood is incredibly complex, as if a slight tap would send a child developing wholly different sets of interests, attitudes, and behaviors, and then have the parents blamed for the development. This has a grain of truth to it. How big is that grain? Who knows? What’s essential to recognize is that children need room or space to grow. While not unique to the Philippines, the problem is that families are cramped together in shanties, those with corrugated or rubber roofs. Thereon, these spaces must be safe, meaning no crimes or whatnot.

Now, some people think that exposing children to the realities of life would allow them to survive in the world—it becomes a duty, even. But how does one go about doing this? Do we simply show our children the gruesome and horrible deeds that people have done throughout history? The trick is to have a theme that answers why you’re teaching your children what you are teaching them. You can teach them about bargaining and how to get the best deals, how to properly talk to the higher-ups, and how to treat his or her girlfriend or boyfriend among others, all with the idea of how to live decently in mind.

The difference is that you aim your child to grow up decently and be able to handle the challenges the world will throw at them, as compared to no aim at all, as if the child will figure out for his or herself what to do with the horrors of the world.

Photo by Robert Collins

20/06/2018

Elation and Joy

Said to be expressed by laughter and smiles, happiness is a positive emotion most of us are familiar with. An ounce of it is said to cure the most severe of illnesses. When do we feel happy? When do you feel happy? Do you feel happy being with your loved ones? With your partner? With your children? What about when you win a competition? It’s important to recognize what makes us happy, as we take some of the little things for granted. This can be done through gratitude journaling, writing short notes of appreciation and then placing these notes in a private collection, creating a list of events that make us happy, etc.

By doing this, we gain a better understanding of ourselves. If we do not feel happy when the same event happens to us, and since we took note of the even and remember when it made us happy before, we can begin to consider what has changed either with us or with the new situation. By taking note of the times we felt happy, of what occurred, and of who were present, we can construct an emotional journey. Where are we headed emotionally? Why? What happened?

It is important to note that the end of this is to become happier. This is because by constantly writing about ourselves, we might fall into our own traps and become self-absorbed. This means that we might end up feeling more sad or depressed. This means that while we can take note of happiness frequently, it might be better to go back to these notes less frequently. Nonetheless, going back to our notes of happiness is better than going back to nothing.

Photo by Matt Howard

13/06/2018

Setting Out

A lot of people struggle with becoming adults. What does it mean? What should we be doing? What are our responsibilities? How should we live? There are many answers to these questions that fall under the umbrella perspective that adults should be providers, and adults can only provide when they have assumed a good level of responsibility. In the Filipino setting, and in some other Eastern settings, independence is less about setting out on our own and more about making good decisions, usually business decisions. Good business decisions are ones that lead to great prosperity for the family. An example of this is doing well in school, graduating, and then working at a reputable company.

Another way to approach adulthood is learning the necessary life skills for surviving on one’s own. This means learning how to cook, how to budget our time and money, how to make friends, and how to find work.

Still another way is becoming mature. This means acknowledging not only our differences but also good and bad. Although some say there is no good or bad, that good or bad is childish, make no mistake—“evil” exists not in the conventional villain and hero sense, but in the sense that there are manipulative people who will take advantage of your kindness. In this sense, we have to learn to open our minds beyond popular acceptance and onto wisdom.

Photo by Daiga Ellaby

08/06/2018

Staring Out

Staring out the window, we might find people walking to the left and to the right, crossing the street, entering some building, handing out flyers, selling street food, or even begging. The screen that divides us from the world allows us this little luxury. Sometimes we think about our own lives. What have we accomplished? What are we doing? What do we want? Where do we wish to go? While friends provide us great relief from the coldness of the world, the lack of self-fulfillment creates another vacuum—this time within us—and it might be colder than the world outside.

What can we do? We can always talk to friends as they might be going through the same phase. What’s important is to treat the resolution of our concerns as a process. It is not immediately resolved, and we must recognize several signs that our concerns are getting resolved. This part is very important. What is it that sparks life in us? And it might be in simplicity that we find peace and satisfaction.

Photo by Anaya Katlego

The Randy Dellosa Company

26/02/2019

25/02/2019

24/02/2019

08/10/2018

06/10/2018

05/10/2018

16/07/2018

30/06/2018

21/06/2018

20/06/2018

13/06/2018

08/06/2018

Address

Website

Alerts

Contact The Practice

Shortcuts

Share

Category