05/01/2026
๐ช๐ต๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ถ๐๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ถ๐ด ๐ง๐ฎ๐ป๐๐ฟ๐๐บ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ป, ๐ช๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ป ๐ฃ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ป๐๐ ๐๐ผ
๐๐ง๐๐๐ฉ๐๐๐๐ก ๐จ๐ฉ๐ง๐๐ฉ๐๐๐๐๐จ ๐๐ฃ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฃ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐ง๐ค๐ช๐ฃ๐๐๐ ๐๐ฃ ๐จ๐๐ฃ๐จ๐ค๐ง๐ฎ ๐ฃ๐๐๐๐จ, ๐จ๐๐ก๐ ๐ง๐๐๐ช๐ก๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ, ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ค๐๐ฃ๐๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ก๐ค๐๐
Parents often ask me this.
Why is my child hitting.
Why are tantrums getting bigger.
Am I making it worse.
First, I want parents to know this. You are not alone. And you are not failing. These moments are hard. They are also information. As an occupational therapist, I treat hitting and tantrums as signals that a child is overwhelmed, confused, tired, uncomfortable, or unable to communicate what they need. Behavior is often a message, and it can also reflect a skill gap.
๐๐ฉ๐๐ฅ 1. ๐๐๐๐๐ฉ๐ฎ ๐๐๐ง๐จ๐ฉ, ๐ฉ๐๐๐ฃ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐๐๐ฃ๐
In the moment, your first job is safety. Block hitting calmly. Create space. Remove hard objects. Use a low voice. Use short words. Many children cannot process long explanations when they are upset. Their body is in survival mode. Co regulation is the bridge. A calm adult helps a child return to calm. Over time, this supports the childโs ability to self regulate.
Simple words work best.
You are safe.
I am here.
I will not let you hit.
Then pause. Give time. Give space.
๐๐ฉ๐๐ฅ 2. ๐๐ค๐ค๐ ๐๐ค๐ง ๐จ๐๐ฃ๐จ๐ค๐ง๐ฎ ๐ฅ๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ฃ๐จ, ๐ฃ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ค๐ฃ๐ก๐ฎ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ซ๐๐ค๐ง
Many big behaviors are linked to sensory needs. Noise, lights, crowds, grooming, tight clothes, hunger, and transitions can overload the nervous system. When the body is overwhelmed, the brain loses access to flexible thinking. That is when you see the explosion.
This is why OTs often teach parents to track patterns.
What happened right before.
Where did it happen.
What time was it.
How was sleep.
Was the environment loud or busy.
Then we plan supports before the hard moment. This is called prevention. It can include short movement breaks, heavy work play, and deep pressure input that the child enjoys and tolerates. Occupational therapy using Ayres Sensory Integration, when delivered with fidelity, has evidence for improving participation and functional outcomes for autistic children.
Practical examples you can try before transitions
Wall pushes for ten seconds
Animal walks across the room
Carry a small basket of toys to the shelf
Mini obstacle course on the mat
A calm corner with a pillow for deep pressure
These are not random activities. They are ways to help the body organize so the child can cope.
๐๐ฉ๐๐ฅ 3. ๐๐๐๐ช๐๐ ๐๐ค๐๐ฃ๐๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ ๐ก๐ค๐๐ ๐จ๐ค ๐ฎ๐ค๐ช๐ง ๐๐๐๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฃ ๐จ๐ช๐๐๐๐๐
Many parents do not realize that instructions can overload a child fast. When demands are high and language is long, cognitive load goes up. Then behavior goes up.
OTs often teach parents to reduce cognitive load like this
Use visuals more than words
Use a simple first then cue
Give one direction at a time
Wait for success before adding the next step
Remove extra noise and clutter during hard tasks
Visual schedules and clear cues can reduce stress during transitions and support behavior.
A good rule is this. If the child is melting down, the demand is too heavy for that moment. Make it smaller. Make it clearer. Make it easier to win.
๐๐ฉ๐๐ฅ 4. ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ก๐๐๐๐ข๐๐ฃ๐ฉ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ก๐ก๐จ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ฃ ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ก๐ ๐๐จ ๐๐๐ก๐ข
Here is an important truth. Some behaviors are learned. If hitting helps a child escape a task, get a toy, or get a big reaction, the behavior can keep returning. The answer is not punishment. The answer is teaching.
We teach the child what to do instead.
Help
Break
All done
My turn
Wait
This is where occupational therapy is powerful. We teach these skills inside play and daily routines. We practice them when the child is calm, not in the middle of a storm. Then we coach parents to respond consistently when the behavior starts.
A simple script for parents
I will not let you hit
Hands down
Show me break or help
Then support the child to use the alternative immediately
The child learns that the safer behavior works.
๐๐ฉ๐๐ฅ 5. ๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐ ๐จ๐ฉ๐ง๐ค๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ ๐ฅ๐ก๐๐ฃ ๐ก๐ค๐ค๐ ๐จ ๐ก๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ค๐ง ๐๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐ง๐ช๐ข๐จ
Parents deserve a clear plan. Not just advice.
A good OT plan usually includes
A pattern summary of what happens before, during, and after
A prevention routine using sensory supports and predictable schedules
A calm down plan for the moment escalation starts
A teaching plan for replacement skills and routines
A simple way to track progress weekly
OT practice focuses on participation and real life function. That includes regulation, routines, and the skills children need to do daily activities safely and successfully.
๐๐๐ฃ๐๐ก ๐ข๐๐จ๐จ๐๐๐ ๐๐ค๐ง ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐๐ฃ๐ฉ๐จ
If your child is hitting or having big tantrums, do not reduce your child to the behavior. Look at the body. Look at the brain. Look at the environment. Then teach skills that replace the behavior.
Work above the surface and below the surface. Support sensory needs. Build self regulation. Reduce cognitive load. Teach safer communication. That is how change becomes realistic and lasting.
