08/02/2026
Painรณรญno: On Creation
The number of deaths a person goes through in a lifetime is uncountable. The many selves who get born, & then die.
The grief that follows. The pain.
Universes dying within a single body.
And then the chaos outside it: relationships, dreams, opportunities disappearing.
Parallel universes. Both happening simultaneously.
I died when I chose to shift my focus from the outside to the inside. With every death comes a severing. A price. A mourning. A burying.
It is the same pain lived by those who create. Again & again.
The writer. The painter. The songwriter.
The choreographer. The chef. The entrepreneur.
The designer. The space holder.
Within this universe is a vast void โ uncharted, unknown, unfathomable.
Unlimited possibilities.
There comes a willingness to die over & over to create.
To birth ideas. Onto canvas. Onto a menu. Into the world.
Then on to the next.
Creation is not pretty. It is not linear. It does not arrive when life is calm. It comes when something in you can no longer stay silent. When holding it in hurts more than letting it out.
So you choose the ache.
You choose the exposure.
You choose to let something leave your body
knowing it will never belong to you the same way again.
Once itโs made, it meets the world as it is โ misunderstood, loved, ignored, consumed, sometimes abandoned.
And still, you make another.
Creation is not about the outcome.
It is about survival.
About staying in right relationship with your inner world so it doesnโt rot inside you.
Each act of making is a small death.
And a small refusal to disappear.
You learn to live with the grief of versions you outgrow.
Of offerings that were true then but are no longer enough now.
You bow to them. You thank them. You let them go.
And you step back into the void โ empty-handed, open, terrified, willing.
This is not discipline. This is the soulโs clarion call.
To keep choosing birth, knowing what it costs.
A truth offering with courage that roars or crawls on its last dregs.
PAINรรNO (verb: Hiligaynon) ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ฏ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ, ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ, ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด๐ช๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ, ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ช๐ต๐ข๐ต๐ฆ ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ฏ.