19/08/2019
A heartbreak
You love someone wholeheartedly, you give them your all, you're happy and they look happy too. They seem to love you too and you feel safe around them, you feel comfortable and you put your trust in them. And then one day you realise that you were stupid enough to think that you were the only flower in their garden. Your heart shatters, the pain you feel is unbearable and they beg you, they promise you to fix it, make it better, they say they'll change. But they don't. They end up doing it again and you forgive them again. And then again..... the cycle repeats itself and you're stuck in that loop. You try to recover from it but the damage that they've done is too much. You've been hurting for too long and sometimes you just want the pain to end, you want everything to end because dealing with it gets too much for you. You get nightmares, you think about it every single day, it's like everything they've done to hurt you is imprinted on your brain. It just never goes away no matter what you do, you lose sleep, you lose your appetite and you start losing your mind. You feel weak and pathetic for not being able to walk out because you're so attached, because you made yourself vulnerable, you let them take you for granted. You gave and you gave your all and what you wanted in return was love, loyalty and honestly. Trusting them becomes impossible for you and even when they're not lying you feel like they are. You cant differentiate between the lies and truth now. You still love them but not as much. You have no control over your emotions, you get mad and sad abruptly. You realise your whole relationship was a lie. You feel like you're never going to find happiness, you dont have it in you to invest in someone else because you've given up. If that someone of yours could end up hurting you like this you think anyone is capable of doing it and you think if you invest in someone else all this is going to happen to you again.
How about invest in yourself for a change and stop investing in other people who don't value your worth. Who dont recognise and appreciate the things you for them, who take you for granted, who hurt you again and again. Put yourself ahead of them because they dont deserve the love and care you've given them over time. You deserve that. Its time you were around people who put an effort in making you happy rather than the other way around. Make your happiness your priority and gather up the courage to leave the toxic people in your life behind you. Because honey you deserve the best and nothing less. And if they can't provide you with the best then they simply just don't deserve you. Be your own queen/king!
And for those of you who are not yet ready to get in a mature adult relationship, please make it clear so that you dont end up hurting the other person. You need to realise that a relationship requires a lot of things, a lot compromises/sacrifices and you have to give up a lot to be in a serious relationship. If you're not willing to do that, thats fine. But please have the decency to be honest with your partner then so they dont expect anything from you, dont break their hearts. Its not something to be played with. And if you want that person to be yours and yours only then deliver the same. If you cant bare them doing the things you've been doing to them then stop! Choosing a good time, a fascination of something, over a good thing you have going on might end up becoming your biggest regret. A mistake is made once, a thing that you keep on repeating again and again is your habit. And habits don't change that easily so if you REALLY want change them start with yourself, work on yourself. Change your habits. So think before you act, your actions define what you are who you want to be. And if you're actually willing to change and want to change for them then show it, put in as much effort as you can. Show them that you deserve it by your actions, not just by your words. Show them how they matter, show them how much they mean to you and appreciate them. And it is going to take time to fix everything. A broken heart requires a fair amount of time to be fixed.
By an anonymous person