09/10/2025
One skill separates great communicators from average ones:
Perspective-taking.
The ability to see things from someone else’s point of view.
But most people do it wrong.
Here’s how to do it right, especially when you’re leading or being led:
When you’re the boss, persuading down:
You’re trying to convince Maria on your team to do something different.
She’s pushing back.
Your instinct might be to assert your authority.
But that’s a mistake.
Here’s why…
Research shows:
The more powerful you feel, the worse your perspective-taking becomes.
More power = less understanding.
So if you want to persuade Maria, don’t lean into your title.
Do the opposite: dial your power down, just briefly.
Try this:
Before the next conversation, remind yourself:
Maria has power too.
I need her buy-in.
Maybe she sees something I don’t.
Lower your feelings of power to raise your perspective.
From that place, ask:
→ What does she see that I’m missing?
→ What might be in her way?
→ What’s a win-win outcome?
That shift changes the entire dynamic.
Instead of steamrolling, you’re collaborating.
And that’s how you earn trust and results.
Now flip it.
You’re the employee persuading your boss.
It’s a high-stakes moment.
You’re nervous.
So do you appeal to emotion?
No.
Drop the feelings. Focus on interests.
Here’s the key question:
“What’s in it for them?”
Not how you feel. Not your big dream.
→ Will it save time?
→ Improve performance?
→ Help them hit their goals?
Make it about their world, not yours.
Why?
Because every boss has a mental shortcut:
→ Does this employee make my life easier or harder?
Be the person who brings clarity, ideas, and upside.
Not complaints, drama, or friction.
In summary:
→ Persuading down? Dial down your power to see clearer.
→ Persuading up? Focus on their interests, not your emotions.
Perspective-taking is a superpower, if you learn how to use it.
Now practice, practice, practice.
