Mente Psychotherapy

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Loulé
Mente Psychotherapy

Counsellor, psychotherapist and coach with more than 25 years relationship experience in the UK.

04/05/2024

In the heat of anger, your vision blurs and the world narrows. It’s a storm that can either destroy or clear your path. Learning to navigate it, you can discover the power of calm after the storm. 🌪️➡️🌈

26/04/2024

I have always struggled to accept praise, but I have learned that this is disrespecting those who wish to give it. 💛

So hovering over the post button…. I am starting to post my testimonials as I push myself to get comfy with social media!!

Thank you to my clients for taking the time to give me feedback... I will always have to work to be ok with it, but it means a lot! 😊

10/01/2023

We all have these kinds of thinking.....on occasion. But when we find ourselves regularly thinking in one or more of these ways, it is perhaps our way of handling anxiety, and maybe it's time to seek to understand and start to reframe how we are approaching things.... ###

13/10/2022

Communication distress appears so often, in families and in relationships and it can help to just understand and be conscious of the ones we use and what we may need to change… because if we always do what we always did, we will always get what we always got. First you have to see it, then dig into why you default to that style, and then choose if you want to change. Passive aggressive is the one that permeates a lot.

13/10/2022

When you are doing a zoom session and your client comments that you are wearing Green, in a Green Room, in the Green Building! 🫣🤣☘️🧑‍🎤.
Last couple of weeks have been zooming with Germany, Bahamas, Canada, New York, and The Hague… - still amazes me how far we can reach and still feel connected… or maybe I am showing my age!

22/08/2022

Knowing you can not fix, rescue, save or change a Person is key as a therapist, but being able to be with them in their ups and downs hoping that you help them see themselves, is not only showing our own vulnerability but feels a little bit amazing.

I received this extract from one on my wonderful clients while I was away and it resonated with how far they have come and how important “ taking responsibility” is. Lovely to receive xx

20/07/2022

Many people think about couples therapy because the other partner needs to change. Reframing this to face into the joint problem and the part each person plays, make sessions feel like progress. Or we can just keep doing the dance we have always done and nothing moves forward…. 🤗

20/05/2022

First holiday of the year, starting with little trip to Porto and it’s beautiful. Also went to see Banksy expo- reminding me of Bristol and home. It was really thought provoking, longest I have spent in a exhibition for a long time

20/05/2022

This can take a little bit of practice but very quickly becomes really insightful xx

30/03/2022

YES Ted Lasso - sooo good sooo true ###xx 👏👏

16/03/2022

Both individual and couples therapy is about respecting each and everyone’s own reality in a secure space.
Therapist should only be a footnote in your journey but while we are with you it should feel like we jumped on your fast moving train and stayed until it felt ok to jump off… and leave you in charge.
Couples therapy can be a little rockier ….
Can feel like two totally different trains at different speeds and different destinations! But that’s ok because couples are asking for help in sorting out the journey they want to follow… we all get stuck in our tracks and need help seeing that. for you

08/03/2022

Procrastinating appears regularly for some of my clients, so I thought it worth reposting this great little note .
While most of us think of procrastination as laziness or lacking willpower, it goes deeper than that…
According to research from Dr Piers Steel, “ procrastination isn’t a unique character flaw or an inability to manage time, but a way of coping with challenging emotions and negative moods induced by certain tasks- boredom, anxiety, insecurity, resentment, frustration, self-doubt…”
This means procrastination is not a time management problem but an emotional regulation problem…

And anxiety will be the predominant driver- it’s identifying the emotion driving that….. to release you from the indecisions….

03/02/2022

Looks simple, but a hard thing to do when in conflict…. However it is proven time and time again in relationships this regulates our nervous system and starts to mend ruptures… took me 27 years to realise! 😘🤗😜 secure relationship

24/01/2022

I truly believe that our unconscious and conscious patterns of behaviour can be confronted and we can make a step to change them, to do more or reduce for a positive effect- equally we can perpetuate a downward spiral - sometimes we need people to help us unpick and understand how this is happening - and that can be hard and freeing..

existentialism
/egzr' sten/(a)liz(e)m/
noun
a philosophical theory or approach which
emphasizes the existence of the individual person
as a free and responsible agent determining their
own development through acts of the will.

11/01/2022

It can feel so much safer to stay in the dark, because the light can feel vulnerable , being the someone who offers positive balance can feel uncomfortable sometimes but uncomfortable is good and bold and liberating. I love this quote because it is like a little tap on the shoulder to be brave xoxoxox

21/12/2021

Navigating your parents
tempers, mood swings, or addictions is like traipsing blindly through a minefield. You put great effort into being small, accommodating,
"not rocking the boat."
"just staying quiet and let it pass." It's a crash course on how to receive love. And it's a pattern that stays with us, deeply.
Think back on all of those little tiny sessions you learned:
"Don't talk to them when they're rushing out for work"
"Just stay silent when they're in a huff, it'll blow over
"Let them blow out all of their hot air, it's not worth saying anything
No parent intents this and no child should have to learn how to navigate this
minefield but it happens. Realising this can bring self-compassion.

Perhaps the greatest "lesson" from this sort of upbringing is that it's better to be passive and silent in the face of mistreatment, because at least then, it
will all blow over sooner. In this way, our people pleasing or shape-shifting was probably a really solid
coping strategy to stay emotionally/physically safe.
It is a serious light-bulb moment when, as adult you realise that was NEVER your job. And it's STILL not your job, in your friendships, romantic relationships, or work relationships, either!

This Christmas enjoy YOUR time and reflect who you are rushing around and doing things for……… ###x 😘🎁

21/12/2021

Take a breath this festive break, and enjoy the present - no pun intended! 🎁###

Endereço

Loulé

Website

http://mentepsychotherapy.com/

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