Cabinet de Psihoterapie Deva

08/12/2025

26/11/2025

16/11/2025

Our post on SUPPORTING A CHILD WHO MASKS WITH AFTER SCHOOL RESTRAINT COLLAPSE has gone viral this week.

To that end I have condensed the information into a handy visual - save it on your phone, print it off as a reminder.

Our 'Masking, The Toolkit' is available now as a downloadable resource from The Contented Child at https://thecontentedchild.co.uk/product/masking-the-toolkit/

Niki ❤️

16/11/2025

❤️

16/11/2025

We get into trouble when we start treating childhood like a race.
As if there’s a stopwatch running.
As if being “ahead” means winning, and “behind” means failing.

But children are not machines on a conveyor belt of milestones. They are human beings, unfolding at the pace their mind, body, and spirit are ready for.

One child will pick up books early.
Another will spend hours stacking blocks.
Another will crouch in the garden, utterly absorbed by the way ants carry crumbs.
Different rhythms. Different gifts. Different ways of making sense of the world.

Each is learning. Each is right on time.

When we rush them, we send the message that who they are now isn’t enough. That love waits on achievement. That life is about keeping up.

But when we honour their pace, we give them something more powerful than being “ahead” — we give them the foundation of safety, curiosity, and confidence that will carry them for life.

Childhood isn’t a finish line to cross.
It’s the ground on which a whole life will stand.

And the stronger and steadier that ground, the further they will go. ❤️

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16/11/2025

Some children become so skilled at masking in school that their struggles are almost invisible.
They may appear calm, compliant and engaged — while inside they are working incredibly hard to hold it all together.

It’s often only once they step through the door at home, where they feel safe, that the emotional cost of the day is revealed.

Recognising this hidden effort is the first step to understanding and supporting children who experience after-school restraint collapse.

In the Resource Store:
After School Restraint Collapse Toolkit for Parents & Educator
Masking: The Toolkit
Links in Comments⬇️

16/11/2025

Attachment is not extra. It’s not a bonus or a parenting style — it’s survival. For a child, feeling securely connected to their caregiver is as essential as the food they eat and the air they breathe.

Because when children feel attached, the world makes sense. They know they are safe, they know they are wanted, and that becomes the soil where everything else can grow.

From that place, confidence takes root. Curiosity blooms. Their hearts learn that love isn’t scarce, so they don’t have to cling or control. They are free to give, because they know they are held.

Love given freely doesn’t make them fragile — it makes them strong. It teaches them that closeness is safe, that tenderness is not weakness, that giving to others will not leave them empty. The more love they receive, the more love they have to give.

But when attachment is uncertain or withheld, the ground beneath them shifts. A child may grow watchful, questioning their worth. They may cling too tightly out of fear, or harden themselves against disappointment. They may learn to survive, but never fully trust.

And in that survival, something is stolen — the ease of belonging, the courage to risk, the freedom to rest in themselves. Too much of their energy goes into guarding what should have been a given: the right to feel safe, wanted, and worthy.

That’s why attachment matters. It’s not about perfect parenting — it’s about presence, attunement, and the quiet promise: you are safe with me…

When a child carries that truth inside, it changes not just their childhood, but the way they will move through the rest of their life. ❤️

Quote Credit: Robert Shaw, M.D.❣️

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16/11/2025