01/12/2020
ISLAND LIVING
(Episode 12 – “Chiiiiiieeeef”)
I had a random meet with some friends at a coffee shop few days ago, who offered a lift back to my office, and on our way out, I waved to a guy sitting nearby, saying ‘hih’’ to him.
They asked me,
“Who is that guy, he looks familiar”?
I grinned, and giggled, buying time, trying to invent a name,
Hesitantly mumbled a few psedo-names, and said,
“i…i…i….forgot”
The next thing they asked is
“So how do you know him”?
I could not hide my embarrassment, sternly answered,
“I have known this guy for almost 20 years!”,
How many times have you met a person today and only to forget his name the next day?
It’s the western norm that forgetting someone’s name is not only embarrassing, but is not polite?
Sometimes I asked myself,
“How bad can your memory get, when you meet someone, only to forget their names seconds later”?
So we go by faces and being polite, trying to come up with some labels
‘tabs’, ‘ganga’, ‘bossy’, ‘chief’, ‘wantok’ or go as far as using nick names, or where that person comes from ‘walfai’, ‘bo’, kwaks’, ‘relkoa’, ‘chai’, ‘agu’, ‘tio’, ‘rio’, ‘rarai’, ‘moko’, ‘Ratu’, ‘boso’, ‘Vuniwai’, ‘mate or buddy (Australian accent)’, ‘soa’, ‘kebo’, ‘sisi dance’ and the list goes on, and on.
Now I realize, may be its not that we have short term memory loss, or are early signs of dementia, it could be a very cultural thing?
When we meet, we don’t ask names straight away, it is offensive to do that, so instead we giggle, we laugh, share a smoke, or a betel nut, and then next time we meet we still don’t know each other’s names, but only by faces.
When someone asked, “what’s his name”?,
“We all looked at each other confused”
Then someone said, “Oh his name is….Tom. Or Jack or whatever”.
So next time we meet, instead of names,
“Chieeeeef”!,
It’s a very island thing; we hardly use names, to the extent of forgetting their names but their faces.
“Yeah, I remember this guy from somewhere”, scratching your head, in a confused state
We still laugh, joke, talk, and stare at each other, not knowing each other’s names
And it’s okay,