09/01/2022
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๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ซ๐๐ฅ ๐๐๐ค๐ : ๐ท๐๐ ๐ด๐๐ ๐ท๐๐'๐ก๐
It's a fact of life that we lose people, and saying goodbye to them properly has always been important.
We also all know how to behave at funerals. Don't talk too loudly, wear black, and sing along to the hymns โ but quietly, of course. Funeral etiquette is easy for most of us.
But what about at a funeral wake? Are the rules different here? Being unsure of how to behave at a wake can make you feel very uneasy; you definitely don't want to do something wrong.
To help you get it right, we've put together some tips of how to behave at wakes.
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A wake is an event that occurs before, immediately after a funeral, or in the following days. It can be held at the home of close family or at an event space. There's usually food, some drinks, and people. A wake can be both a celebration of life and a time to mourn, depending on what the close family wants. It's also a time for people to give their sympathy to family members and share tales of the deceased. You can't talk during funerals, so this is the opportunity to say all you want to.
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Because of the variations in Hindu beliefs and practices worldwide, each family has unique requests for attendees. These are some of the most common etiquette details you might need to know:
One thing that makes Hindu funerals notably different from other religions is that it is sometimes considered inappropriate to wear black. Hindu funeral etiquette may require attendees to dress in conservative, white clothing that covers the knees and arms. But in more modern settings, you may find attendees wearing traditional or more modern clothing. If you arenโt sure, reach out to whoever is coordinating the service for guidance.
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โข White, Dark colors, it doesn't have to be black but stick to light tones rather than bright ๐๐๐๐๐ข๐๐ .
โข Formal dress โ Ditch jeans and t-shirts for a suit and trousers, or a formal dress
โข Avoid anything revealing โ Short dresses or low, buttoned-down shirts are a definite no
โข You don't have to wear a tie or gown, but just don't go too casual. Stay conservative and respectful.
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You should definitely be careful with what you talk about at a wake, particularly to close family. Try to stick to a conversation that revolves around the deceased. Definitely don't start asking everyone what they thought of the soccer game or what they're up to after.
Some good topics include memories you have of the deceased, how you knew them, and what they meant to you. Remember to give your condolences to the grieving too.
Avoid talking to the family about important people you've lost in an attempt to relate. This really isn't the time.
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One of the easiest ways to understand wake etiquette is by taking cues from the close family. How they're behaving should lead the way for the rest of the guests.
If they're being quiet and somber, follow their lead. But not all wakes are full of grief, some are more of a celebration of life. Listen to the music if it's funeral music then it's likely the family wants to mourn. If it's upbeat, then they want to celebrate the life of their loved one.
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Giving sympathy gifts to close family can be a lovely idea to give your condolences and show support. Flowers are usually a safe choice or simple garland.
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Instead of spending on big flower garlands or any expensive gift, giving monetary help to immediate family would be a great help during this difficult moment.
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You probably won't be the only one worrying about how to act at a funeral wake. It can be difficult, especially if you don't know many people there.
But as long as you follow these tips and act appropriately, you'll be absolutely fine. No one will be paying much attention to how you're behaving anyway. The main points are to show your sympathy and follow what the close family members are doing.
