Stephxy.therapist

12/11/2025

Sometimes we confuse boundaries with cutting people off.

A boundary says: “I want this relationship, and here’s what I need to stay well.” Cutting off says: “I’m stepping away because contact isn’t safe or healthy.”

Boundaries work best where repair is possible and limits are sometimes respected. Cutting off may be necessary when harm repeats, safety is at risk, or your boundaries are dismissed or mocked. One protects connection, the other protects you.

When repair is possible, lead with curiosity and limits.
When it isn’t, choose distance for protection—not to punish. 🌿💚❤️‍🩹

20/09/2025

Not every hard day is “toxic.” But when the same patterns repeat—public shaming, shifting goalposts, exclusion from the loop, “urgent” everything, boundaries punished, “banter” that cuts—your nervous system believes the pattern, not the promise.

Toxic cultures often run on power, not care. The signs can be loud (yelling) or quiet (freezing you out, credit-taking, gossip framed as feedback). Over time you start to doubt your memory, work longer to “prove” yourself, and shrink your needs to stay safe. That spiral isn’t weakness; it’s protection.

You deserve a workplace where feedback grows you, not shrinks you. Curiosity over self-blame. One step at a time. Save this for days you start to doubt your reality. 🤍

18/09/2025

Some burnouts don’t look dramatic. They look like staring at a sink cup you can’t bring yourself to wash. Like opening an email and feeling your whole body say “not now.” Like replying “I’m fine” because explaining feels heavier than staying quiet.

Burnout isn’t only about work; it grows wherever output > recovery for too long—juggling kids and deadlines, studying past midnight, caring for others while ignoring your own needs, holding everyone’s emotions together so things don’t fall apart.

Your system adapts by going flat, foggy, avoidant, or irritable. That isn’t laziness or failure; it’s your nervous system protecting you. 🧠🫶

You might notice: tiny tasks feel huge, joy feels far away, your social battery sits at 1%, the body is tense or achy, you snap and then feel guilty. Underneath these are quiet loads: invisible labour, perfection pressure, constant decision-making, sensory overwhelm, not enough true rest. It’s biology, not a moral verdict.

If this is you, here’s your permission to go gently today. Aim for 5% softer, not a total life overhaul.

Ask for a little help if you can. Trade tasks. Choose the B-minus version. Let “good enough” be a bridge back to yourself. Rest is not a reward for finishing; it’s fuel for continuing. 🌿

17/09/2025

Over-functioning. Fixing. Earning rest. Avoiding help. These weren’t flaws; they were survival.

These habits kept you safe—until they kept you stuck. Sometimes the bravest thing the “strong one” can do is become a little more human. Less fixing, more feeling. Less carrying, more sharing. 💕

05/09/2025

AI isn’t a fad—it’s part of our everyday now. Used with intention, ChatGPT can be a kind little co-pilot: helping you turn brain fog into clarity, find gentler words for a boundary, or offer a 90-second grounding when your thoughts start to spiral.

It’s there 24/7, non-judgy, and surprisingly good at organizing the mess 🧠🤝. But it can’t hear the tremor in your voice or hold you through the silence; it can’t replace the safety, attunement, and repair that happen with real people.

Think of it as a smart, talkative notebook—useful, not sacred. Embrace it, kindly: keep details private, tell it the tone you need (“gentle, concise”), and if you feel flooded, pause to breathe and ground first. And if something feels unsafe, reach for trusted humans and local supports—not a chatbot.

AI is here to stay; we can let it lighten the load while we keep what’s human at the center. AI tools can support. But real human connection heals. 🤍🕊️

29/08/2025

We don’t truly understand the difficulty of raising a child with special needs until we walk with them—unlearning and relearning alongside, again and again. To all the primary caregivers who keep showing up: you’re the heroes without capes. 💚🩵

Juanita Mega’s son suffered a brain bleed at birth, causing developmental delays and thrusting her into the role of primary caregiver. Overwhelmed by loneliness and stress, she experienced caregiver burnout in 2018. Now 55, she wants others to recognise the invisible toll of raising a child with s...

10/08/2025

Why are you always angry? 😡

People see the anger.
They don’t see the exhaustion.
The years of swallowing hurt.
The moments you stayed silent to keep the peace.
The boundaries crossed without apology.

They don’t see how much you’ve tried to be patient, kind, and understanding… until there was nothing left to give.

Anger isn’t who you are.
It’s the body’s alarm system.
It’s saying:
🛑 “Enough.”
🗣 “I need to be heard.”
🔥 “Something is not okay.”

So if someone asks, “Why are you always angry?” maybe the real question is…

✨ “What hurt you so badly that you had to build fire around your heart?”

You’re not “too much.”
You’re just holding too much.
And you deserve to feel safe enough to finally put it down.

02/07/2025

If you feel the need to understand everything— every emotion, every trigger, every interaction—you’re not “too much.” You’re likely someone whose nervous system has been trained by uncertainty.

When trauma happens—especially emotional or relational trauma— you often don’t get the full story. Things felt unsafe, unpredictable, or emotionally chaotic, and no one helped you make sense of what was happening.

So your brain did what it had to:
🧠 It became the detective.
🔍 The analyst.
🧩 The meaning-maker

Understanding became your way of controlling the unknown— a way to avoid being caught off guard. Because deep down, there was a fear:

“If I understand everything, maybe I can stop the hurt from happening again.”

That’s not overthinking. That’s a survival strategy.

💭 You became emotionally alert.

💬 You analysed people’s tone, moods, silences.

📚 You learned everything about attachment, trauma, boundaries— not just for growth, but because your body equated knowledge with safety.

And it’s okay.�

It makes so much sense.

But here’s the gentle truth:�
You don’t have to earn healing by being hyper-aware.�
You don’t have to dissect your feelings before you’re allowed to feel them.

🕊️ Healing isn’t always a cognitive process.�

It’s learning how to feel safe in your body again— even when you don’t fully understand why.

You’re allowed to rest your mind.
And let your body breathe.

29/06/2025

Not all trauma is loud; Some of it hides in the silence 🫥

In the “you’re too sensitive.”

In the emotional absence, unmet needs, or pressure to always be okay 💔�

You may have grown up with a roof over your head, food on the table 🍽️ but still felt emotionally alone, unseen, or like your needs were “too much.”

That, too, is adversity. That, too, can shape the nervous system 🧠⚡

Healing doesn’t mean blaming 🙅‍♀️ It means finally holding space for what wasn’t held back then 🤲

You don’t have to justify your pain 🕊️ And you don’t have to stay in survival mode 🧷

Even if it “wasn’t that bad,” you still deserve peace now 🤍

28/06/2025

If you became the “therapist” in your family before you even understood your own feelings — this post is for you.

👉🏻 You were the listener.
👉🏻 The fixer.
👉🏻 The one who stayed calm when others didn’t.
👉🏻 The one who was praised for being “so mature.”

But no one asked:�At what cost?

Being the emotional anchor for a parent—can blur the lines between love and responsibility.

You weren’t given space to be a child.

You were handed stories too heavy for your age.

You became fluent in soothing pain… but not in asking for help.

Now, you might:
• Feel exhausted but unable to rest
• Struggle to name your needs without guilt
• Feel unsafe saying “no”
• Feel invisible in your own relationships
• Still carry emotional weight that was never yours to begin with
�
This isn’t weakness.

This is a nervous system that learned early how to survive emotional chaos.
🖤 You’re not too sensitive.
🖤 You’re not broken.
🖤 You just adapted — beautifully — to a role you should never have had to hold.

And now?
❤️‍🩹 You’re allowed to soften.
❤️‍🩹 To rest.
❤️‍🩹 To learn how to receive care, not just give it.

This isn’t about blaming your past.�

It’s about understanding how it shaped you — so you can slowly step into something gentler.

You were never meant to hold it all.�Not alone. 🤍

�

23/06/2025

If you were the “mature one” growing up,
it may not have been because you were ready —but because you had no choice.

This post is for the ones who became emotional caregivers too early.

The ones who learned to hold space for others before anyone held space for them.

You’re not broken.
You just learned how to survive.

And now, you’re allowed to soften.
You’re allowed to rest.
You’re allowed to receive. 🤍

15/06/2025

Many people grew up emotionally unsafe — not because there was always violence or chaos, but because emotions weren’t safe to express 🌪️🤐

You were taught to stay small. To stay quiet. To not rock the boat 🚫⚖️

Emotional safety means knowing you can exist without fear of punishment, withdrawal, or shame 🫶💬

If this resonates, you’re not broken 🩹
You’re learning what safety feels like, possibly for the first time 🌿🤍