21/11/2025
The “Good Girl/Good Boy” Syndrome: A Hidden Cost
We’ve all heard it before: “Be good. Don’t complain.” While this advice may seem harmless, it can have a deeper, more lasting effect on our mental health and relationships.
🔸 Constantly people-pleasing and suppressing our needs in favor of others’ can damage our self-worth. It teaches us that love and approval only come when we prioritise everyone but ourselves. This can erode our identity and self-esteem over time.
🔸 Psychological toll: Bottling up our emotions and needs can lead to frustration, anxiety, and even depression. We might lose sight of who we are or what we truly need from our relationships.
🔸 Relationship strain: If we’re always trying to be “good” and never express what we really feel, resentment can build. Real love is about mutual respect, not just self-sacrifice.
What’s the answer?
1. Recognize when to prioritise peace – but also when it’s time to speak up.
2. Challenge the conditioning that makes us feel we have to put others first at the expense of ourselves.
3. Keep your voice, your identity, and your self-esteem intact. Having boundaries and expressing your needs isn’t selfish—it’s healthy.
We can love others and love ourselves. It’s about balance.
[ Good Girl, Good Boy syndrome, priorities, peace, self worth, relationships, giving in, balance, wellbeing, therapy, coaching, conditioning]
