23/03/2026
When I ask a teacher these questions, I'm collecting information. But I'm also doing something else.
The right question can shift how someone sees.
The child who falls apart after lunch starts to look less unpredictable. The one who seems fine all day starts to look less fine and showing some exhaustion. The moment everyone noticed stops being where the story starts.
And just as importantly, I'm looking for what lights them up. What they gravitate toward. What makes their brain work beautifully. Not because we can use that as a carrot, but because strengths and interests give us just as many clues as the hard moments. And because part of our job as adults in children's lives is helping them build a relationship with their own brain, not just survive it.
That shift in perspective is sometimes the most useful thing I can offer.
I also think about my own nervous system in those moments, particularly when I'm working alongside a teacher or another professional. How present I am. How regulated I am. Because that shapes everything about what becomes possible between us.
These questions are for therapists piecing together what a child's day actually feels like. For parents trying to explain what they see at home. For teachers who want to understand a child they can't quite read yet.
And for the adults reading this who wish someone had asked these questions about them when they were young. This one's for you too.
Sensory patterns aren't problems to solve. They're a nervous system telling you something.
If you work with children this might be a good one to save 🫶🏼 I'm always curious what resonates, and whether there's anything you'd add to this list.
Every child's nervous system is unique. These questions are a starting point, not a complete picture.