27/11/2025
The unhealed man’s nervous system perceives her upset as a threat to his safety.
When she’s sad, crying, or expressing emotion, he immediately tries to fix it. He needs to change how she feels—not for her comfort, but for his own. He can’t sit with her discomfort because his nervous system is screaming danger.
Her emotions trigger his unprocessed pain. He never learned to regulate his own feelings, so when she expresses hers, his system goes into panic mode.
A man who hasn’t processed his own emotions sees her tears as chaos he must control. Her sadness, her frustration—it all feels threatening because internally, he’s not safe with his own feelings.
His nervous system interprets her emotional expression as loss of control. Deep down, he’s terrified—not of her emotions, but of losing grip on the situation. So he demands she stop crying, tells her to calm down, or gets angry to regain control.
The man who’s done the inner work doesn’t perceive her emotions as a threat. His nervous system stays regulated when she’s upset because he’s learned to regulate his own.
He’s faced his rage, sat with his pain, embraced his shadows. He knows emotions don’t destroy—they move through when given space.
When she’s upset, he doesn’t need to fix her. He holds space. He’s comfortable letting her feel without needing to manage the outcome. If she needs support, he’s there—but he doesn’t panic.
He can handle her emotions because he’s handled his own. He’s not running from discomfort anymore—he’s made peace with it.
The unhealed man demands control because his internal world feels unsafe. The healed man creates safety from within, so her emotions don’t threaten his peace.
Women don’t need you to fix their feelings—they need you to not fall apart when they have them.
Ready to build the nervous system regulation that creates real safety?
DM “Change “
Share this if it resonates ❤️
