25/12/2025
This is rich, especially coming from an Osteopath!
"Fascia training is what happens when exercise runs out of ideas but still needs to sound intelligent. Take normal movement, add unnecessary resistance bands, remove all logic, then tell people they’re “stimulating the fascial web” and suddenly it’s a method.
The sales pitch is always the same. Your fascia is apparently neglected, traumatised, and desperately waiting for you to tie yourself up like a badly wrapped Christmas present and wobble around the room. Walk, run, lift, throw, climb? No, no. Too simple. Fascia only responds if you look confused and unstable while someone films you for Instagram.
What’s impressive is the confidence. Zero evidence, vague explanations, and phrases like “elastic recoil” thrown in for good measure. Ask what’s actually changing and you’ll get a word salad about hydration, spirals, and energy transfer that explains absolutely nothing but sounds profound enough to silence questions.
Humans have been moving for hundreds of thousands of years without fascia classes, fascia balls, fascia sticks, fascia flows, or fascia certifications. Somehow the fascia managed just fine while people walked, carried things, ran away from danger, and lived their lives without flapping about like a malfunctioning octopus.
If fascia really needed this level of nonsense, evolution has some serious questions to answer.
But don’t worry. If it looks stupid, feels stupid, and achieves nothing measurable, just call it fascia training."
Credit: Bradley Blair, Osteopath
