07/12/2017
Mr. X, congratulations on coming here. It is good first step. Some people need meetings, others do not. However, as you say that alcohol is a constant in your environment and all of your friends and family drink, unless you can think of something else, I think it is pretty safe to say that meetings are the only "safe harbor" available to you and are probably not optional at this time. I would suggest that you put it at the top of your list to find some secular meetings and start attending immediately. If there are really no live meetings in your area, there are online meetings available with some groups. OP have already mentioned SMART (excellent), Lifering and, of course, SOS. Please visit the websites for those organizations and try to locate the nearest meeting. I hear about more and more atheist/agnostic AA meetings being formed as well. Even if you have to swallow hard and endure some AA meetings, the important thing is that you practice what James Christopher, founder of
SOS, termed the Sobriety Priority. That means that you make sobriety your NUMBER ONE priority, and allow all of your other priorities to re-arrange and align themselves naturally under the Sobriety Priority. This is not just a slogan or something you write down and forget, but an ongoing meditation that you engage with and apply in your life. Remember, the so called Big Book (it's actually quite small) says that the program of AA is "suggested only" and that the only requirement fo membership is a desire to stop drinking. That means that you need NOT follow steps, find a HIGHER POWER or genuflect to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. The reason you are attending is to get out of the house for a couple of hours a week, think about and practice your Sobriety Priority, hang out with some others who are in recovery, and experience the "hall of mirrors" so that you can begin to see yourself in others rather than thinking they are a bunch of losers (Decidedly NOT hip, slick and cool). Also, coffee at Dennys after meetings is probably more important than the meetings themselves. Remember, if sobriety is your priority, you will deal with whatever psychological and philosophical quibbles you may have about meetings and do "whatever it takes" to recover and in doing so not lose your family. Finally, although this may seem a bitter pill (it was for me when I first got clean and sober more than 30 years ago), is is probably going to be necessary for to you make some radical changes to your environment, lifestyle, and your friends and social circle. I hope I have helped to motivate you rather than scaring the s**t out of you . . . but either way, now it is up to you!
