Mending Life Mental Health Coaching

03/13/2026

In insecure attachment (anxious, avoidant, disorganized), a boundary can be unconsciously coded as “I might be abandoned, shamed, or punished,” not “I’m taking healthy care of myself.”
If you never saw healthy limits modeled—only control, enmeshment, or withdrawal—then boundaries feel foreign, rude, or dangerous rather than ordinary parts of adult relating.

02/24/2026

Rumination often reveals where we feel unsafe, unseen, or alone. The good news is that it is is a modifiable habit of attention and interpretation. Focusing on the problem instead of the provider (God), and remaining withdrawn from community can be rethought and retaught.

12/17/2025

70% of all organizational change initiatives fail to reach their desired outcomes (AIM Business School, 2025). However over 95% of organizations are in some form of change. Change is inevitable. We all know it. We've all lived it. But how do we reduce the fears associated with it? As leaders, how do we effectively help ourselves and others move to new scenes of opportunity?
https://www.mendinglife.com
Reference
Why 70% of Change Management Initiatives Fail (And How Best Practice Will Help You Prevent It). (2025). Australian Institute of Management (AIM). https://lnkd.in/gW_5TcV9

12/03/2025

What does it take to be a good listener? #1 empathy. Being able to listen to and summarize the thoughts and feelings of others. One habit of bad listening is making every conversation about ourselves. Dr. Gary Sweeten calls this person “the historian”. How do you listen well?

11/20/2025

Are you finding the stress of upcoming holidays adding to an unhealthy stress build-up? Let's talk! Use this Facebook Only link to grab an introductory reduced rate one-hour coaching session in-person (Albany, OR) or online (Google Meet). (Limit one offer per person Dec 1-Dec 19, 2025).
https://mending.vccalbany.com/brian-coons/holiday-stress-session

10/22/2025

Here, King David is overcome with fear and feelings of abandonment as his trusted friend, Ahithophel, betrayed him during Absalom's rebellion. Fear is our body's way to mobilize for protection and survival. Physical signs are widened eyes, faster breathing, increased heart rate... it makes us ready to fight, run, or hide.
Was David's sense of terror and horror real? Or was he experiencing anxiety over what he couldn't control?
In David's case, the threat was real. He was facing attempts to overthrow (kill) him. In the present day, the prevalence of anxiety (a generalized fear and worry over everyday life events- work, relationships) is high and increasing.
How do you center or regulate yourself so anxiety doesn't take over? Is anxiety really insecurity that has formed a stronghold? Could humility be the antidote for insecurity and fear?

07/01/2025

What is causing you pain in life? Are you stuck and need help moving toward where you'd like to be? Often, when we struggle with work, self-worth, relationships, loss, or trauma, we need help to rethink our thinking and separate our thoughts from our identity.
Contact Mending Life today and let's find out together. AACC certified Mental Health Coaching, affordable direct-bill, and confidential.

Brian C***s, AlbanyBrian C***s, Albany, United States of America

04/10/2025

The effects of trauma on life, well-being, and relationships are many and diverse. It often activates our fear response system (sympathetic nervous system) when there is no real danger. However, after experiencing trauma, our cognitive ability to think through painful, emotional, or hurtful experiences is diminished. We can learn to be helpless in situations where we have control or influence. The enemies of learned helplessness are self-criticism, shame, and seclusion, which lead to hopelessness- being stuck. The antidotes? Safe connections, guided help, vulnerability, self-care, and kindness (among others). The brain is malleable and can be changed.

How Trauma Can Rob Us of Our Power and Makes Us Feel Helpless. (2021). Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/202106/how-trauma-can-rob-us-our-power-and-makes-us-feel-helpless

04/02/2025

Are you wasting away in the desert of loneliness and meaningless connections? Compassion is recognizing suffering in yourself or others and the desire to ease and prevent it. Compassion isn't the same as empathy. It is a skill that can be developed. Pitting people against each other because of different ideas or theologies, creating echo chambers, and succumbing to tribalism are ways we lose the ability to be compassionate.
Mother Theresa said, “If I look at the mass, I will never act. If I look at the one, I will.” Refusing to see people as groups, tribes, and movements and looking for individuals is a start to becoming compassionate. The "Left" and "MAGA" are full of individuals who primarily need connection and acceptance, to be seen and heard, and to be valued. Let's leave the desert.

Compassion Is More Than Niceness. (2023). Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/soul-console/202307/compassion-is-more-than-niceness

03/28/2025

Constant thrill-seeking and pursuing stimulation increase boredom rather than fight it. Studies show that scrolling and digital switching (changing channels or skipping ahead, refreshing feeds) lead to increasing feelings of disconnection and meaninglessness. They even affect proper memory encoding and recall.
1. Identify your "go-to" when you are bored
2. Recognize where it has become an unhealthy pattern
3. Fast. Stop it. Take an intentional break
4. Be kind to yourself while you change your habit

The Boredom Antidote: Turning Blah Into Bliss. (2024). Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/meditation-for-modern-life/202407/the-boredom-antidote-turning-blah-into-bliss

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03/27/2025

We can do better!
An echo chamber is where dissenting voices are muffled. It is a social environment where individuals are exposed to information, opinions, and viewpoints that align with their preexisting beliefs and perspectives exclusively. They create environments where animosity thrives, division is the primary outcome, and stereotyping is the norm.
1. Be responsible
2. Set boundaries (not cancelation)
3. Hold each other accountable
4. Build a new perspective that welcomes diverse thought

How to Break Out of the Echo Chamber. (2023). Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202311/how-to-break-out-of-the-echo-chamber

03/26/2025

Anxious, angry, sad, stuck, dealing with grief, feeling rejected or unworthy?
Life gives us trouble we don't expect or plan for. It's part of the journey. Getting the confidential help you can trust is essential. No one needs to do it alone.

Appointments available.
https://mending.vccalbany.com/brian-coons