02/10/2026
I am re-reading The Body Keeps the Score for book club, and highlighted a pattern I see everywhere.
When systems are overwhelmed, they tend to look for an individual flaw.
Weakness.
Lack of resilience.
Inability to cope.
It’s easier to blame the person than to take responsibility for the conditions that broke them.
Once you see it, it’s hard to unsee.
We see it in healthcare.
In workplaces.
In families.
In relationships.
Nurses know this story well.
Burned out? You’re not resilient enough.
Overwhelmed? Maybe you’re not cut out for this.
Struggling with what you’ve witnessed? That’s just part of the job.
I see it with grief, too — especially losses that don’t fit neatly into cultural scripts. The subtle expectation to “find meaning,” “move on,” or turn pain into a personal growth project… as if the pain itself is a failure.
Here’s the pattern:
A systemic problem gets reframed as an individual moral failing — and all responsibility lands on the person who’s already carrying too much.
The thing is, when your body has been holding years of overwork, impossible standards, and quiet blame, you can’t just think your way out of it.
This is why I work with nervous system regulation — not just mindset.
Your body is still carrying what the system never made space for.
And that requires body-level work to shift.
💬 If this feels familiar, comment “me” 👋or share where you’re seeing it.
