04/04/2026
People think being a janitor is just pushing a mop around.
Meanwhile I’m:
1) Solving mysteries (“Who microwaved fish in the break room?”)
2) Performing science experiments with mystery stains
3) Playing real-life Tetris in the supply closet
4) Breaking up fights between the vacuum cord and every chair leg in the building
5) Finding things that have been “missing” for 6 months in under 30 seconds
Honestly, we don’t clean buildings. We maintain civilization. 🤭