07/27/2023
I am so privileged to work with such incredibly strong people every day and witness their journeys. This is something a client wrote as a reminder to themselves, but I think it's a great reminder for all of us❤️ They were willing to share anonymously:
For when things get hard:
I don’t need to be some version of myself that I see in my head. That version of myself doesn’t exist. I’ve been trying to change so much about myself as if there was something wrong, but I don’t need to throw out everything I am as a person just to be okay. I don’t need to get rid of all those parts of myself that are good, and I like, just to be happy. I can keep those too. I can grow and change without sacrificing the parts of myself I love. I’ve just been looking in the mirror every day and just been thinking how tired I look. How defeated the world has started to make me feel and how it takes too much energy to care anymore. Too much energy to be there in the moment and just enjoy being alive. Constantly putting plans together for something in the far future rather than just doing something in the moment for me. Something that will make me happy right now. Or make me excited and maybe even a little scared. Something that takes those parts of myself. Those parts that I love and mixes them with something new. Maybe that is a new sense of style or maybe that is a big move. Maybe that is something as simple as meeting someone and having a conversation. Connecting with that moment. Feeling that moment. Breathing in the life of those moments is where we get our memories. Our tiny sanctuaries from the tirades of hell and trauma that otherwise plague our lives. I don’t want to just be fighting against those feelings, I want to be living with them. I want to accept that pain and suffering and love it. I want to hold it tight and say its okay to feel that way. Its okay to be sad and hurt and upset, but its also okay to not be. Its okay to be happy and to have fun. Its okay to not constantly think about someone else and instead think about yourself. You don’t need someone else to validate yourself. You are valid in your own right. No one else can tell you any different. I’m at a big transition point in my life, but that isn’t a bad thing. Growth comes from change and if I want to continue growing and evolving as a person then change is inevitable. Even when the change is hard, or when it hurts. Even when it hurts so bad you can’t even think about anything else. That’s okay. You’ll be okay. You won’t end there. The world isn’t just full of pain and suffering. There is more to life than just making a change. The meaning comes from what we give it. To those small moments and experiences. To those days dancing in your living room with the person you love and to those minutes breathing in the warm summer air. Even when those moments pass and life changes, they still exist. Separate from it all. A reminder of the beauty in the world. The meaning in the world. The love in the world. The pit of pain in your chest is real, but so is the enjoyment of these experiences. The love of the world around you and the person you are within it. Go out and be a better version of yourself. Go to the gym. Change your style. Give yourself time and space. But don’t give up on yourself. Don’t change everything about yourself to the point of it being indistinguishable. You don’t need to. Just be whatever version of you; you want to be. Not who you think you should be, but who you want to be. From the inside you’ll know which is which.
