That Clay Couple

01/21/2026

Anxiety isn’t always fear. Sometimes, it’s something you learned that you take with you wherever you go.

Two shifts to help you out:

• Pay attention to what your anxiety is trying to prevent.
There’s a story living underneath!

• Let your body catch up to your beliefs.
Faith can guide you, but your nervous system needs practice feeling safe. You trust God, but not yourself! Gotta change this.

This year, I’m creating intentional spaces for this kind of healing.

If this resonated, save it. Wanna do this work with guidance? Stay close. Follow this page.

01/07/2026

When the same turmoil keeps showing up, ask yourself what’s being avoided.
If any of this sounds familiar, then you’ve encountered someone with high conflict personality.

01/07/2026

Because solving a problem requires self-reflection, and blame feels safer than accountability.

01/06/2026

Patterns don’t repeat without a reason.
When conflict keeps showing up, it’s not your imagination.

01/05/2026

When you’ve been betrayed, ignored, or mishandled, giving folks access to you starts feeling dangerous. This is learned behavior.

If you’re avoidant or scared of betrayal, stop confusing caution with closed off.
You don’t have to hand over your heart, tell all your business or barricade the door.

Pick one low risk truth to share this week. Not your trauma story. Not your fears. Don’t overshare because you want to keep it real. Just one honest preference, boundary, or feeling. Then watch what the person does with it.

Trust isn’t built by letting people all the way in. This is a slow grind. I trust you based on the information I have. I give the opportunity for you to show me your trustworthiness. Watch how they handle the inch you give.

You’re cautious because you had to be.
And that makes sense. -Auntie Ny

01/01/2026

12/29/2025

Folks weaponize holy books and spiritual rules to keep you nodding along. They’ll twist kindness into obligation. They’ll shame you for setting boundaries, calling your “no” unspiritual. They’ll hint that questioning equals sin or you lack faith. All to lock you into pleasing them, not God.

Folks use four moves:
1. Theology as threat
They quote verses about submission but skip the parts on mutual respect. They make you fear divine punishment if you speak up or speak out. Somehow, your voice will make you lose God’s favor.

2. Fear of shame
They tell you of your mistakes and weaponize them against you so you seek to be perfect to not be shamed.

3. Guilt by proxy
They tell you your refusal to do as they say hurts the whole community, or the family, so you swallow your needs. Yet, you know this is about them and not the greater good.

4. Identity hijack
They say “good believers…wives…husbands…sons…or daughters” don’t do whatever it is you do/did. You start to believe your worth depends on compliance.

Before you jump, find out; “Is this my belief or theirs?” Don’t abandon your values. You are enough without being perfect. - Auntie Ny

12/27/2025

If this is your first holiday season as a Muslim, there is a kind of ache folks ignore. Or get shamed for saying out loud.

You can love Islam, be grounded in your choice and feel tenderness when the holiday season starts. The old familiar traditions no longer fit the new you. Nothing is wrong with you for having this thought. Your faith isn’t weak if you enjoy looking at Xmas lights!

There’s no reason to doubt your choice. When you convert, you do more than change beliefs. You step out of a cultural practices that were a part of your old identity. The nervous system remembers what once felt familiar even when you’ve chosen something better. Your mind feels stable with familiarity. We know your change is good.

Because your Islamic choice was intentional, people assume it should be easy. They’ll even say, “Well, that’s what you get for being Muslim…”
Your spiritual convictions don’t erase the loss you feel.

So if this season feels messy, be honest about that. You can miss parts of your old life and be at peace with the new one. Those truths can live together.

You don’t need to be hard to be faithful. Be gentle with yourself and keep being muslim. InshaaAllah. (God willing)