02/16/2026
Many women believe if a man cares, he’ll step up on his own and in the way you want him to. You believe if you give him enough time, patience, s*x, understanding, and grace, he’ll finally meet you there. This is where women get stuck. Not because you don’t know better, but because you keep using hope and YOUR effort as proof he’ll catch on.
Sis…NO.
First, you wait for him to notice the shift.
You change your tone. You pull back. You move differently. You assume your frustration is obvious. You assume your silence is loud. You assume he feels it. Then nothing changes and you’re confused.
If it hasn’t been said clearly, with a specific action attached, you haven’t asked for anything. Waiting is not communication. He is not a mind reader.
Then you move to the next strategy. You believe if he understood how much something hurt you, how deeply you care, how serious this is, he would change. You explain it again. And again. In new ways. With more emotion. Over text. In the bed. At dinner. All cause you want “to be understood.”
Understanding does not create effort. He has to want to do the work for the relationship.
And finally, you start doing more so the relationship doesn’t fall apart. You give more. You accommodate more. You initiate more. You carry the emotional weight so things don’t collapse. And now you’re exhausted.
When you overfunction, you block the truth from showing up. He doesn’t have to change because you are doing your part and his.
Ladies, the problem isn’t you don’t see what’s happening. The story you keep telling yourself about why it’s happening is fiction!
Some relationship pain doesn’t come from confusion. Sometimes, it’s already clear. If this hit you in the face a little, save it. See yourself in this? Comment… this is me. -Auntie Ny
