That Clay Couple

That Clay Couple Providing life-changing relationship renovation to get you closer to relationship goals w/ Bae & self

Lemme tell y’all what I actually see in couples counseling. Yes, some men will sacrifice their happiness for their woman...
04/14/2026

Lemme tell y’all what I actually see in couples counseling. Yes, some men will sacrifice their happiness for their woman. The issue is, he defines what he thinks her happiness should be. He never asks her.

He’ll move heaven and earth to give her “X” because in his mind, that’s love. That’s leadership. That’s him showing up. But if she didn’t ask for X? What if she needed A, B, or Z?
Now she’s feelin’ unseen. Unheard.
And to him, it looks like she’s ungrateful.

This is how resentment brews.
Even good intentions, when poorly delivered, can feel like control.
Sometimes, it ain’t the love that’s missing. It’s the emotional intelligence behind it.
What do y’all think? Have you ever felt unloved by someone who thought they were loving you “right”? -Auntie Ny

04/10/2026

Newton said women lose value when they have multiple kids by multiple men. I do NOT agree a woman loses value.
Women do not lose value because they have children by more than one man.
Let me say the general selection methods men use!

You can be a valuable woman and make choices that make you less appealing to the kind of man you say you want. This never makes someone worthless or the same as having nothing to offer.

There are men looking at the full picture. He’s looking at your life, your patterns and what comes with being with you. A woman’s ideal man may not find her appealing, or an option for him, due to choices.
And some women do not want to hear it because it feels personal. But that won’t make it not be true

A woman can have value And not be a practical choice for the type of man she’d prefer to be with. Both of those things can sit in the same room at the same time.
What do y’all think? -Auntie Ny

04/10/2026

You’re not stuck because weak. You’re stuck because you’re eating up this person’s breadcrumbs and never feeling full.

You get a lil’ bit of effort. A sweet moment. He calls at the right moment and you believe it is a sign from God. You keep hope alive!

As someone who works with this all the time, let me tell you something. Infrequent good moments do not cancel out a repeated pattern.

Look at the pattern. 👀
The pattern is the answer. Link in bio to work with me. -Auntie Ny

Many are preparing for a wedding and not preparing for a life. Chemistry isn’t enough. Shared beliefs aren’t enough. Wan...
04/08/2026

Many are preparing for a wedding and not preparing for a life. Chemistry isn’t enough. Shared beliefs aren’t enough. Wanting marriage isn’t enough.

You need to know how this person handles conflict, how they respond when you are hurt, whether they take accountability, and whether peace actually lives between y’all.

Marriage doesn’t autocorrect emotional immaturity. It brings it closer. In ya face!

If you’re serious about love, be serious about emotional readiness too. Save this for yourself or send it to somebody who is dating with intention.-Auntie Ny

As of today, Momma has been gone 4 yrs. At this early morning hour, she was still alive. I knew she’d be gone by Sunday....
03/31/2026

As of today, Momma has been gone 4 yrs. At this early morning hour, she was still alive. I knew she’d be gone by Sunday.
When I got the reminder in my FB notification, I covered my eyes. I didn’t want to see her picture and feel her absence at the same time. Sensory overload…Ok!

On the inside, I feel a muted scream. Not from losing control myself, but the loss is trapped in my throat. It takes my voice and my breath away.

Momma, I’m a NiNi now. She’s beautiful and got a lil’ of that “Sutton Sass” in her. For the rest of us, none of us are the same, but we’re all ok. Praise God.

I love you. Niecey

03/29/2026

Lonely? Do you need a spouse immediately so you can feel chosen, overworked, underhelped, and deeply confused? Do “The Price Is Right” and come on down!
Get you a spouse to work all day, come home, carry the mental load, manage the house, do homework, raise kids, suppress your anger, and call it favor.

This here is grown folks marriage. The kind where one person gets partnership and the other spouse gets duties.

Some folks stay because they love their spouse. Some stay because they made vows. Some stay because they keep hoping all this will one day be “Worth it!”

As a therapist, I’ve seen folks who loved their spouse and were ashamed of what they kept accepting to make it “worth it.” And no, I don’t define “worth it” for you.
But I will say this. If one person is drained so the other will be good, that’s not love doing its best work.

Marriage, a holy bond, does not stay sacred simply by staying intact. If the cost of keeping it is losing yourself, shrinking yourself, betraying yourself, that isn’t the fruit of good love.
God calls us to be higher than that.
He calls us to good and to call each other to good. This right here ain’t it!

A healthy relationship should not require one person to disappear so the other one can be comfortable. Follow and comment. -Auntie Ny

You see this picture. You don’t see being told, “You’re pretty to be so Black.”You don’t see, “You speak well for a Blac...
03/09/2026

You see this picture. You don’t see being told, “You’re pretty to be so Black.”

You don’t see, “You speak well for a Black girl.” You don’t see being 21 and pregnant and told, “You ruined your life.”

You don’t see weighing 247 pounds and hearing, “Well you have a pretty face.”

You don’t see, after building my self-confidence, brick by brick, being told, “You act light-skinned.”

You don’t see the judgment when I became Muslim, or the hostility after 9/11 and someone said, “You chose this.”

You see the smile. I don’t look like what I’ve been through. Whatever someone said to you isn’t meant to guide your life. -Auntie Ny

03/09/2026

Many can be vocal about 50 50 until the rest of the equation shows up.
Bills are one piece of the relationship.
Labor, care, emotional work, planning, and intimacy are the rest.
If the balance only applies to money, that’s not partnership. It’s a one-sided convenience.- Auntie Ny

03/06/2026

Many couples are not struggling because they don’t love each other. They are struggle because nobody wants to be the first person to take responsibility.

Everybody wants a healed partner. Few are doing the work to become a healthy partner. Before asking if you chose the right person, ask a harder question.

Would a healthy partner experience peace being with YOU? Wanna find out? Drop a 💯 below and I’ll send you some info!

02/26/2026

What stays with many survivors is more than what happened. Survivors notice who stayed comfortable afterward.

If you understand that sentence, comment “SEEN”.-Auntie Ny

02/26/2026

Anxiety can come outta nowhere and be overwhelming. Nothing is wrong with you.
Your body is trying to protect you.

These tools are for the moment it’s happening, not hours later when people telling you to “calm down” or “Catch your breath!” at a time when you can’t!

If this helped, I have many more simple, practical somatic tools for anxiety and nervous system regulation. Save this. Share it. Check the Linktree for more support, with me. -Auntie Ny

02/19/2026

As beautiful as Ramadan is, for some it isn’t peaceful cause of the noise in your head. The way you speak to yourself spiritually restricts you.
When you feel exposed it doesn’t mean you’re failing. You start where you start and stretch from there.

This year, you’ll do more than push through Ramadan. Comment, “I’m showing up” if you’re ready to show your best effort!

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