11/17/2025
When We Protect the Wrong People, We Endanger the Unsuspecting Ones
There’s a hard truth most of us don’t like to look in the eye.
When we cover for someone who is doing harm… we don’t just protect them.
We recruit ourselves into the harm.
Ouch. That hurts. I know. But stay with me.
Every time we lie for someone, make excuses for them, “keep the peace,” or pretend “that’s just how he is”… we widen the doorway for the next victim to walk through.
And the next.
And the next.
We’ve done it in families trying to hide sexual abuse.
We’ve done it in churches trying to “protect the reputation.”
We’ve done it in politics, where silence becomes a second language. We’ve done it in relationships, workplaces, and whole communities.
Harm doesn’t continue because perpetrators are powerful - it continues because too many people are polite.
If silence can protect a perpetrator, then courage can stop one.
If excuses can multiply victims, then accountability can save them.
We are not powerless.
We are not spectators.
We are part of the system - whether we like it or not / and that means we’re also part of the solution.
So today, with all the gentleness and boldness we can muster, let’s choose the higher path:
• Refuse to co-sign someone’s abuse towards someone else.
• Stop calling protection “loyalty.”
• And remember: boundaries are not betrayal - they are community care.
If we want fewer perpetrators, we have to stop volunteering to be their cover story.
Courage has a ripple effect. Let’s start the ripple.