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Monday 10am - 6pm Tuesday 10am - 6pm Wednesday 10am - 6pm Thursday 10am - 6pm

Mendel Toron Psychotherapy Group

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United States
Aventura, FL
Mendel Toron Psychotherapy Group

Mendel Toron Psychotherapy Group are licensed therapists treating adolescents and adults in private practice. Specializing in EMDR and trauma therapy.

Based in Aventura, Florida.

07/26/2023

We always seem to be looking for more answers.

Perhaps it would be more helpful if we were seeking to ask the right questions?

It is a natural human tendency to want to feel safe and have the answer to every problem.

However, the truth is that not every concern is solved with an answer, and not every problem needs to be solved.

Often what we really need are deeper questions that provoke within us a new way of being.

When we jump to answer the problem on one level of existence, it may satisfy us for a time being, but this will not last. It is only when we pause to ask the deeper questions that our original concerns can be resolved.

Perhaps the process of asking questions is more important than the answers?

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Disclaimer: This page is not intended to be a replacement for psychotherapy. If you are experiencing any mental health related conditions, please speak with a qualified mental health professional.

01/23/2023

Chasing happiness may serve as a way to run away from pain.

Instead, practice finding joy through emotional honesty.

We may try to chase happiness or pleasure hoping that this “thing” or that “experience” will help us reach inner-peace.

In truth, it is the emotion of "joy" that we are seeking and struggling to grasp.

The reason we cannot get to "happiness-joy" is because joy is only accessed in the depths of emotional honesty found here in the present moment.

When we can allow ourselves to be present and feel all the emotions including pain, joy, anger, loss, etc., then we can find the inner-peace and connection we so desperately seek.

Aim for emotional honesty with yourself (and when communicating to others) and access the beautiful duality of joy and pain that is present in your life.

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Disclaimer: This page is not intended to be a replacement for psychotherapy. If you are experiencing any mental health related conditions, please speak with a qualified mental health professional.

11/10/2022

It’s ok to feel angry.

For many people growing up, anger was an emotion that was considered unacceptable in the home. It may have been expressed at times of stress, but was considered inappropriate and not safe a majority of the time.

This may have been because a parent felt overwhelmed by the child’s anger and may not have had space for the emotion that felt scary to them. This leaves the child with no way to contain the angry feelings and as a result the child has intensified anger (anger issues) or instead chooses to internalize the feeling (depressive feelings).

It’s important that children know in our actions and innermost feelings that anger is an acceptable emotion and can be used as a tool to let them know what they need. Anger, like happiness, sadness, and grief are all-natural emotions created to guide us and provide our life with meaning. Anger allows us to be assertive and pursue our goals uninhibited. It frees us to make hard choices and love ourselves unapologetically.

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Disclaimer: This page is not intended to be a replacement for psychotherapy. If you are experiencing any mental health related conditions, please speak with a qualified mental health professional.

08/22/2022

I am honored to be working with Dr. Carly Namdar, Dr. Naomi Baum, and to bring the trauma-informed “Resilient Schools” model to Jewish schools in South Florida. Our first stop last week was the all school staff training at Brauser Maimonides Academy (BMA) in Hollywood, Florida. All staff in school received the initial training in the model with wonderful feedback from staff and administration alike.

The “Resilient Schools” model aims to create trauma-informed schools by educating staff on the prevalence and impact of trauma on staff and students and designing a school environment that promotes resilience in 2022. This comprehensive model is ongoing throughout the year and includes biweekly coaching and consultation for staff and administration on how to implement the model.

The program is a shift towards a broader understanding of the word "trauma" and the impact of trauma on all levels of a system. In the Resilient Schools model, staff are taught to deepen their awareness of stress/trauma in their own life and allow this to be a catalyst for change in the classroom and how they interact with staff and students.

Becoming trauma-informed is an ongoing and patience process, but I am optimistic as we see our schools moving in this direction.

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Disclaimer: This page is not intended to be a replacement for psychotherapy. If you are experiencing any mental health related conditions, please speak with a qualified mental health professional.

05/12/2022

Chronic invalidation and lack of attunement to a child's emotions is traumatic.

The explanation for this lies in attachment theory and the role a caregiver plays for a child. Human beings are biologically wired for love and connection. This evolutionary need guarantees survival because children are dependent on their caregivers. When a child feels emotionally in tune with their caregiver, they can feel safe, secure, and their nervous system is at ease. However, when there is a threat to this connection, whether through a lack of expression of love/connection or emotional invalidation this unconsciously feels threatening to a child and can cause them to:

1) Fight - Act out or feel anxious.

2) Flight - Run away, disconnect, or avoid others.

3) Freeze - Dissociate or detach from the feelings associated with the pain of disconnection.

When there is inconsistent emotional connection with the caregiver, the child learns that connection with others is not safe. This creates anxious, avoidant attachment styles that have an impact on future relationships, boundaries, self-esteem, trust, and many other mental health conditions.

Feeling unloved or emotionally invalidated by a parent is in itself traumatic because the child is dependent on their parent for survival, and this threat to human connection is a threat on their life. The traumatic feelings that result from this need requires proper emotional healing if one does not want to repeat or overreact to similar patterns moving forward.

Going to therapy can help people emotionally heal from early attachment-related trauma wounds and choose healthier responses moving forward.

03/21/2022

Children don't only need love and attention. They also need love with connection.

We often hear about children needing love and attention. Specifically, the idea of reinforcing positive actions, and spending less time criticizing or giving attention to a child’s negative actions. An example given for this is to imagine our child has an “emotion piggy bank” and every time we give a compliment that is one coin in the bank. The reverse being true as well. Each time we criticize, a coin is taken away. Parents then find opportunities to praise their child thus giving them the greatest number of positive resources when encountering obstacles in their life.

This approach is great but has limitations, especially when we are struggling to find positive qualities in a difficult child or we are only praising our children for qualities that we value. For example, if I find academic or religious success valuable and only give praise when my child excels in these areas. In these situations, it may be more helpful to look at the goal of “connection” with our child.

Instead of trying to find the qualities that we value or consider praiseworthy, it may be more important to find out what our child values. Finding relatability with what our child values means being open to the idea that their values may differ from what you consider valuable.

Listening to their perspective increases connection and stresses that there are not only one or two qualities that make someone “valuable.” That regardless of a specific value or strength, we all are worthy of and .

03/13/2022

"Your value and self-worth are not based on your ability to be productive."

Being a productive human being is important. Having a sense of purpose gives our life meaning and contributes to overall success and well-being. The issue is when we become overly focused on being productive and the need to be be "busy." This comes up for people when they are on vacation or having down time from work. They struggle to be present and do not feel good unless they are being busy and productive.

In those moments it is important to remember that our value and self-worth are not based on what we do or our “productivity levels.” You have unconditional value and self-worth as a human being regardless of what you did that day. Overworking to fill that void in your life will not make the feelings of unworthiness go away.

Instead, try sitting with the uncomfortable feelings and give space for what comes up. This will help you understand what your are feeling and be more intentional with your actions and values.

Many are distracted by being busy that they forget to live and be present with themselves and those around them.

This week embrace the courage to lean into the discomfort of the "pause." You just might learn something about yourself in the process.

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Disclaimer: This page is not intended to be a replacement for psychotherapy. If you are experiencing any mental health related conditions, please speak with a qualified mental health professional.

01/09/2022

Let’s talk about social media and boundaries.

There is a fine line between expressing authentically on social media and overstepping our boundaries.

When we share intimate information online, we may be well-meaning and aiming to increase authentic connection with others. However, without careful boundaries we can end up projecting unhealthy feelings and creating more harm than good.

A good way to prevent this is to ask ourselves, “Have I processed through in a healthy way the content I am about to share publicly on social media?”

If the answer is no, it may be best to take some time to do this in the safe environment of a close friend/family member or in the context of a therapy session. Only after we have worked through our own feelings regarding the subject should we then publicly share with others.

Finding the middle ground of healthy vulnerability requires us to look inside ourselves and check our own to see if what we are sharing is contributing to authentic, healing connection or may accidentally be pushing others away in the name of authenticity.

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Disclaimer: This page is not intended to be a replacement for psychotherapy. If you are experiencing any mental health related conditions, please speak with a qualified mental health professional.

Address

19790 W Dixie Highway Ste #1208
Aventura, FL
33180

Opening Hours

Monday	10am - 6pm
Tuesday	10am - 6pm
Wednesday	10am - 6pm
Thursday	10am - 6pm

Telephone

+17862201539

Website

http://mendeltoron.com/

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