Family Matters Counseling & Assessment Services

11/22/2025

Holiday Reminders 🎄 🎁

11/16/2025

This is a topic that comes up a lot —
I find many people believe that being emotionally regulated means being calm and happy.
It means handling everything perfectly and maturely.

But being emotionally regulated isn't just about happiness —
it's the ability to stay present with whatever it is that you're really feeling.
You can be angry and be regulated.
You can be scared and be regulated.
It's actually only when you are regulated that you can be fully present to these feelings — so that you can feel and metabolize them and let them move through you.

Being angry and being regulated can look something like:
I feel hurt by that person's comment; it stings.
But I'm also able to hold on to the wider picture, which is that I love that person and know they care about me, too.
A part of me feels defensive and angry and I can justify that internally — that was a crappy thing for them to say and I didn't like it. That wasn't okay.
But I also know that that comment isn't true; I know that the comment isn't about who I am.

Being regulated allows me to be able to hold on to these several truths at once, so I can turn to this person and say, "hey that comment felt pretty crappy. Is everything okay?"

Being dysregulated puts me into a self-protection and I lose the ability to stay connected to the wider truth, and to being curious.

Being regulated allows me to stay with my feelings, my body, and the present moment. I don't forget myself or how I feel, but I can also hold on the larger truth, too.
I can still be curious and present with the other person.
Being regulated allows me to be open to the fact that maybe there's something missing that I don't know here.
It helps me hold space for nuance, diversity of thought, and complexity.

It doesn't mean the comment was okay, but it helps me take the steps to stay present enough to move *through* this moment (imperfectly) instead of avoiding it, taking it personally, or reacting as though that comment is the whole truth.

This is the work that is really hard if we've never seen this modeled or had people stay present with us in hard moments. But it is possible!

11/14/2025

11/13/2025

minds counseling services

11/10/2025

"If someone treats you poorly, remember it’s not a reflection of your worth, but a mirror of their character." ( Gen)

The gentle, liberating truth you must hold close is that cruelty directed toward you is never a measure of your soul. If someone treats you poorly, remember it’s not a reflection of your worth, but a mirror of their character.

When a person chooses unkindness, they are simply revealing the scarcity, the wound, or the internal noise that resides within their own spirit. You are not meant to receive their shadows; you are meant only to witness them.

Your sacred task is not to internalize their behavior and shrink, but to hold firm to the light of your own intrinsic value. When you view their poor actions as a mirror held up strictly to them, you instantly reclaim your peace and beautifully safeguard your own self-worth from their misplaced darkness.

Mitra ➡ Tips That Change Your Life ❤☀

10/31/2025

🎃🙏🏽✨️

10/28/2025

" Everyone has two eyes…
but no one has the same view. "

Yes, every one of us has two eyes, but no two people see the same world. That's because the world is not seen as it truly is, but as we are.

Your mind holds a unique lens made of everything you've ever lived: your deepest sadness, your happiest memories, the culture you grew up in. All those things act as a filter over your eyes.
What you see as a great opportunity, your friend might see as a scary risk. What you find beautiful and comforting, another might find boring.

This simple fact means your perspective is not the only one. When you realize that the boundaries between your view and someone else's are just the edges of different life stories, conflict begins to quiet.

To truly live well, we must practice empathy. We must accept that another person's view has its own truth and validity, even if it makes no sense to us. Acknowledging this difference allows us to move beyond division and celebrate the beautiful variety of human sight.

Mitra ➡ Tips That Change Your Life ❤☀

10/27/2025

Art | Anna Ancher