11/01/2025
Reparenting Yourself With Love, Not Control
Faith Spina
There comes a moment when the ache inside can no longer be silenced. Not by busyness. Not by perfection. Not by pretending we are fine. It is the whisper of the child within us, waiting to be seen. Waiting to be held.
Reparenting is not about blaming those who raised us. It is about meeting the parts of ourselves that were never truly met. It is not about control. It is about compassion. Not fear. But gentleness.
To reparent yourself is to become the guardian you never had. Not the strict one. Not the one who kept you small to feel safe. But the one who sees your soul and says, "You are already whole."
It begins with listening. What did you need that you did not receive? Was it protection? Encouragement? Freedom to feel? Let those answers rise without judgment. The truth does not hurt. The resistance to it does.
Then, speak kindly to yourself. Catch the voices that say you are too much or not enough. Replace them with words that lift, that nourish. "You are allowed to rest." "You are worthy even when you are still." "You do not have to earn love."
Learn what your younger self never knew. How to set a boundary without guilt. How to soothe your nervous system when the world feels sharp. How to speak your truth with softness. How to trust joy again.
And most of all, love yourself in ways you were never taught. Wrap your arms around the tender one within. Say what they longed to hear. "I’ve got you now." "You are safe with me." "You will never be abandoned again."
Let your healing be slow. Sacred. Spiral-shaped. Some days you will feel the weight of your old stories. Other days, you will feel as light as dawn. Both are holy.
Reparenting is not a destination. It is a devotion. It is waking up each day and choosing to respond to yourself with kindness instead of criticism. With presence instead of punishment.
This is how we become free. Not by becoming perfect, but by becoming the parent our soul was always waiting for.
Give yourself the love you missed. The protection you craved. The joy you buried. And remember, it is never too late to come home to yourself.
You are your own sanctuary now.