11/05/2025
Thanks to Disney 🥀 and chick flicks many of us think our s*x lives has to always be on 🔥: romantic, passionate, connective, you fill in the blank.
The reality is however, that just like our emotional connection can be on point, meh, or distant depending on the day, our moods, what's going on in our lives, the phase of life we're in, etc. our s*x lives can also run the spectrum of being on point, meh, or disconnected.
Having a thriving s*x life is a skill that takes CONSISTENT practice & repetition.
We cannot wait for the stars to perfectly align each day to get our practice in.
So does that mean we should dishonor our no and be intimate when we know we don't want to be❓
Absolutely not!! 🙂↔️🚫
But if we are feeling eh or maybe down for something, not sure, maybe not, then the best thing we can do is show up for the experience.
It could be it won't be 🔥 and that's ok. What we are getting out of the experience can be a lot of other important things: we are showing up for our relationship, for our partners, getting emotional connection, feeling desired, feeling pursued, creating space for play, inhabiting our bodies, etc.
And plus as Emily Nagoski's research points out, a lot of times, especially for women, we don't start out in the mood but once we get started, we actually bring ourselves into the mood.
Ironically, when we consistently show up to our s*x lives, that's when we actually get the most 🔥❤️ going!
*xuality *xtherapist