Peaceful Passages

03/17/2026

⏱️Breaths per Minute🌟

The hospice nurse says “Call me when her breathing changes”….
So you wonder- what can a breathing pattern tell me?
Throughout the process of decline, you watch for clues as to what is happening within the body. One of the intricate aspects of the dying process is the breath. The body will subconsciously go through patterns of breathing allowing it to systematically and gently shut down body processes.
Here are two fairly typical patterns to take note of:
1. A couple days prior to death periods of apnea begin.
- You may notice 10 to 40 seconds of apnea, followed by several full breaths. This pattern will repeat every minute, for a couple hours or days.
- Often they will have their eyes closed throughout this phase.
- This breathing can occur even during periods of heightened agitation.
- It is important to stay on schedule with necessary meds, as well as add a layer of help for any increased pain or agitation.
- Vital signs will fluctuate.
- You may need to increase whatever you have previously used to lower anxiety.
 After this, you will notice another breathing change.
2. Breaths will become shallow and more regular.
- Apnea will still be present, but not as profound.
- The body will go into a more unresponsive state. Again, this could last hours, but more typically it is a couple days. 
- The physical agitation will subside… As if the body has worked out some sort of life energy.
- Vital signs will slow down, and body temperature will fluctuate.
- Body color changes will occur.
- Their mouth often
remains open.

I like to encourage bedside Caregivers to occasionally take the time to count how many breaths per minute. At one point you may get 14 breaths, later only 10. Then perhaps the next morning, only 8. By this point, the oxygen intake is considerably low. 

These are some of the red flags ⏱️to look for and hopefully help to provide the awareness you need for planning.
Remember to continue showering love in words, touch, and music 🌟 Their spirit will soak in all the love you give🌟

Inside each breathing pattern -
Is a journey
Where some invisible work is being done ⏱️🌟

01/08/2026

✨Touching Death ✨

Several family members were quietly tucked around the room and a sort of reverent-calm hung in the air. The house had been full of people all day… but not anymore.
As the evening darkness settled in, I gathered my supplies and began to prepare for what we all sensed was going to be his last night. His gaze was fixed with eyes half closed. His breathing was steady, labored and shallow at about 13 breaths per minute. He’s pulse was thready and irregular.  With my “cranialsacral” touch  I could feel no movement of fluid throughout his lower extremities, but there were small waves of spinal fluid in his pelvic region and a soft fullness at the base of his skull.
Without any prompting from me they silently took their places around the bed; his 2 siblings, children, and wife all physically and mentally present for this moment in time. For the past several days I had provided the coaching that they had needed, and we had become a very good care team. Very few words were exchanged as we turned, tucked, lotioned and lifted him into a clean & comfortable position.
I could see the difficulty of this task, yet a visible Love filled the space. When all was completed, we stood looking at each other around the bed. His wife who had been supporting his head with her hands, was the first to speak. Her words were soft and slow as she sat back into her chair. 
✨These were moments of deep meaning. Yes- they were caring for a dying man, but they were also stepping straight into their own grief as they physically began their journey of accepting life without him. 

Physically helping with end of life care can provide a way for your heart and hands to begin preparing for the impending death of your loved one.
Although it is highly sensitive and difficult, this act can be a great healing gift to both the person you are helping and your own grieving heart.
Supporting each other and allowing this transition to happen can pave the way for grieving minds to accept that their loved one is moving from this physical world - into their hearts-
✨ as a memory✨

“LOVE never ceases”

10/13/2025

The ✨ Vigil
When someone is close to their end of life, they enter the phase of deep sleep/coma. Although they may not be responsive this phase is very important to them. They may be quietly coming to terms with undone lifetime issues, perhaps on a life review journey, or they may be absorbing the conversation around the bed one last time . 
Here are a few helpful tips for family, friends or caregivers to remember during that quiet vigil .
- Continue with aroma therapy. Use lotions, and oils; Frankincense, myrrh, sage, lemon balm and others can be soothing. Burn candles (if possible ).
- Continue to keep them clean and dry!
- Continue sublingual medication schedules.
- Use multiple small pillows for comfort and support.
- Be aware of noise/conversations around the room. Provide a peaceful environment for their sacred journey.
- It is important to continue with verbal reassurances regarding family members and life situations. Also to read, pray, or play their favorite music.
- Try to stay ahead of the buildup of fluids in their neck and chest. During this time it could become much worse.
- Take note of anything they may randomly say and don’t be afraid to respond to them!
- Remember their pets at this time. Allow for touches and visits on or near the bed.
- Note ANY changes in breathing patterns.

I recall a few comments that people have spoken during this time -
✨ “Pick me up!”
I translated that to mean that she feels like she has fallen (again) . I assumed that she may be experiencing some pain. We repositioned her with more pillows and administered some medication.
✨ “Face paint!”
His temperature had gone up, and I was mopping his face from perspiration. He spoke those words with the slightest smile which told me that he was OK .
✨ A woman who had not responded for two days opened her eyes and gave me a warm and gentle look as I read her favorite scripture passage. I think she was saying, “ thank you!”
✨ “LOVE , just Love!”
Were the emphatic words of a man during this time.

The Vigil may be long and tiresome for those at bedside…. But remember,
That the hours will be filled with eternal meaning both for them,
✨ And for YOU ✨

05/09/2025

🤯 when you hear the words,
“ I just want to die”

You feel a wave of deep personal pain, then you begin to think a tornado of confusing thoughts. . .
✨Take a pause!!
Remind yourself of THIS:

The natural end-of-life process can be a long and complicated journey. More so than anyone can actually prepare for. It is common for there to be a plateau period along the way. This time can be a bittersweet phase. With daily physical symptoms and emotions in a constant state of flux, it is common for the person in the bed to feel overwhelmingly weary.
For the family, this can be a good time to surround them with short/ sweet visits. This is the best opportunity to provide for purposeful visitation periods for people from all aspects of their lives to stop by and share treats, flowers, photos, memories and Hugs!✨
Yes- for some, this may be a last goodbye. But-what a blessing to make these precious lifetime moments happen!
Again… remember that the words “I just want to die“ , could actually mean that they are simply losing steam during the phase that they are presently in. It is natural to experience a longing to skip over this phase…. And to move on ahead- -
Just a little faster!🙏

✨Slow your mind,
Remain calm and positive
Stay steady and patient

✨Supporting the person
Lifetime
and spirit
Of your loved one♥️

01/27/2025

🌷We noticed as her body became weaker by the day . She had fallen 3x that month.
We strongly encouraged her to use the walker and to call for one of us for assistance.
But this time, without caution, she took a step-
and buckled to the floor .
I was at her side within minutes. She was alert, but not fully coherent. When I asked if she had pain she simply smiled and said ,”No”.
We sat together on the floor for several hours before 2 EMTs arrived. They pleasantly lifted her up into her large, comfortable bed. She expressed her gratitude then snuggled in- as if the whole incident had never happened.
And that was the last night she slept upstairs
in her own bed
with her cats ✨

Looking back on those hours on the floor I now understand the significance of what I witnessed. What had seemed like confusion or delirium was not that at all .
There beside her bed she quietly talked with herself. Her words continuously flowed but were not connected or logical- They were heartfelt, detailed and Real. I curiously listened and occasionally patted her hand.
It was as though she were mentally clearing away old thoughts, reigning in her bold inner strength and embracing the course ahead .
This was a woman who had grown out of poverty to become the CEO of her own innovative company. She was accustomed to doing what needed to be done in life, and now she was doing the same for her End of Life.
A few days later she said, “It’s harder than I thought “.
She was not referring to cancer, pain or weakness but of the conscious process of healing wounds, finding gratitude and neatly closing a lifetime.
For several days she struggled as her body, mind and spirit melded together.
Slowly as she accepted the support of her friends she eased forward
until at last
she quietly slipped away .

When genuine compassion is present
The other soul senses this
Allowing full freedom
to TRUST ✨💐

11/26/2024

💥think-Talk-PLAN
What do they want to happen when the last days at end of life come?
Where do they want to be?
Who will be caring?
and HOW…??
These are questions that should be talked about BEFORE the final stages at end of life .
I try to make it a priority with families or POAs to discuss last wishes and then to respectfully put a plan into place to ensure that their loved one will have their end of life process exactly how they want it to be.
Although it may be stressful, awkward and just plain difficult, there is an easy way to help you get started towards your plan. You can simply google , …
“Five wishes “ There you will find documents, forms and ideas for you to consider.
Don’t wait .
Get started♥️
You , and those you care about will be glad you did.
🌟🌟🌟

“Time is a river. When you are born, you step into the river of life and travel its course until such time as when death comes and you step back out of the moving water.”
Lakota elder

I am an End of Life Doula who provides comfort care and Inspirational Guidance thru Life's Final Journey.

11/05/2024

✨keeping the Peace✨
Sometimes it’s a bit of a long road to get there , but finally arriving to the point of CALM is a relief to everyone . 
Remember that your mindset goes a long way towards accepting the various phases of end of life care.
Having spent a lot of time at the bedside of people who are leaving this lifetime, I have often heard this statement..” He was a fighter!…but he lost his battle to cancer”
This statement sounds bitter and feels unnatural. The concept of our last days being a battle which has been lost, is not at all the scenario that I typically witness from the person whose life is ending.
Most often what we witness is a quiet peace ✨an overall feeling like that of - graduation.
Modern medical society has lost respect for the timing, processes and just plain humanness surrounding end of life, as well as the amount of patience required along that journey.
Remind yourself, there is no battle and No one is losing. Let’s not fall into that mental and emotional trap.
Our lives and pathways have a purpose…
✨from start-to- finish!

Ecclesiastes 3
“ for everything there
is a season. . “

I am an End of Life Doula who provides comfort care and Inspirational Guidance thru Life's Final Journey.

09/12/2024

✨Breath. . .
It Becomes measurable and notable in the end of life.
Breathing is an essential aspect in the later part of dying.
Breathing patterns change several times throughout this process✨
There are many various breathing patterns that occurred during the dying process. Often family members ask, “Why is she breathing like that?… or “ Why has her breathing suddenly changed?” The answer to both questions are the same-Her body is doing something completely natural.
When the terminal restlessness stage has ended, and now they appear to be sleeping, this is when our quiet subconscious takes over. Within this natural journey you will see them going through various breathing patterns.
A few examples might be:
- short, consistent rapid breaths, 25+ per minute
- calm long inhale with long exhale, 10 or less per minute
- long deep breaths, followed by several short shallow breaths, then into a prolonged period of apnea.
It is important for those at bedside to take note when a breathing pattern has changed. These changes signify the entering of a new phase.
There is no cause for alarm or worry. Rather, you can focus on supporting them. As always, gentle touch is welcome. You can also use these last opportunities to speak into their ear and share words of gratitude for life and friendship that you have shared together ✨🌹✨

“ What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved, we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”
- H. Keller

06/05/2024

THE Bucket-list 🌟
Recently I asked a friend, “when the scan was done and the Dr said - you have 3-6 months to live…
What changed for YOU?”
She replied:
“ I never thought of my Bucket-list again…
Only People mattered. “

And that’s exactly how she
Finished her life
🌟💜🌟

04/29/2024

👍For anyone looking for fast relief from muscle pain/ cramping - I have used a wide variety of product but nothing works as effectively as CBD w THC 🌟
Those in need will find relief within minutes 👍🌟

03/12/2024

The🌟Hospice/Doula Duo🌟
10 reasons why you will benefit from having BOTH services while caring for your loved one in your home through their end of life journey.
1* A Doula works hand-in-hand with hospice staff to decrease your stress while you manage symptoms, daily care, and medications.
2*A Doula will assist Hospice in teaching both family and patient in all aspects of care and medication administration.
3* A Doula will often be in the home daily or overnights to provide relief for caregivers.
4* A Doula will continue with your family throughout all the phases of the death process.
5* A Doula is familiar with all aspects of the dying process and can recognize each individual’s pathway.
6* A Doula is able to gently guide family members through the dying process of your loved one.
7* A Doula will provide hands-on care and are experienced with end-of-life comfort care.
8* A Doula will advocate for respecting all of the patients wishes, both physically and spiritually.
9* A Doula is ready to implement the “5 wishes” .
10* Doulas are helpful and familiar with planning a home funeral, or other nontraditional methods of memorial.
🌟 As you can see, Hospice will provide you with the tools you need to care for your loved one at home, and a Doula🌟will fill in the gaps for caregivers, and provide comfort care and guidance through the dying process of your loved one. 

“ Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it.”
H.Murakami 

02/19/2024

🌹 silent helpers 🌹
 Have you wondered what it means to “hold space” for someone who is suffering?
Here’s what it means-
Last month I helped a family in their home for five consecutive days. They were a small family group. Their mother, 92 years old, was in her large antique bed in her lovely wallpapered bedroom.
Among those present was a quiet woman- almost invisible.
She would occasionally make eye contact with me from across the bed, passing over a warm smile. Many times, she would softly rub my shoulder as she walked around me. I particularly loved when she would voluntarily bring me a cup of hot tea. During those long days and nights, it became common to see her sitting in a chair with her head bowed.
Her warm presence brought a needed calm not only to me, but to the entire circle around the bed.
She may never know how much encouragement I drew from her smile, her prayers, or that her sweet touches literally energized me to continue doing the work that I was doing. Later on I thought to myself, “she was like a silent cheerleader”!
🌹Over the years there have been others like her in similar situations
- Encouragers
- Prayer lifters
- Heart warmers

THAT is what it means to “hold space” for those who are suffering

“ Carry one
another’s burdens”
-The Bible .