10/07/2025
"The incompatibility between motherhood and a sense of control is apparent to most new moms, almost immediately. It feels incomprehensible for moms to cling to a desire for control and autonomy while they simultaneously struggle to connect with and take care of their dependent infant.
If motherhood temporarily robs women of a sense of independence, while they readily or reluctantly surrender to this imposed state, it is reasonable that they would try to recoup this independence along the way.
The timing and energy of this effort to reclaim a lost sense of self is different for each woman, depending on variables such as personality, history, current life circumstances, and environmental/social demands, for instance.
The point is that postpartum women, whether depressed or not, are required to reconstruct themselves, to a certain extent, as a function of the demands of motherhood. It necessitates a practical, emotional, psychological and extremely personal transformation.
When depression and anxiety impose extraordinary distress, it can feel impossible to move forward. When depression hits, there is an abrupt disturbance that impedes the transition to motherhood. Mothers who trust the natural flow of life expect this passage to develop naturally, but instead, are be left feeling cheated, enraged and misunderstood."
