02/02/2026
Unless you reside on the West Coast, many of us on the East Coast and some southern states will attest that it has been extremely C-O-L-D; cuddling weather, for the past several weeks, to the tune of single digits, occasionally with a windchill temperature in the negative.
Similarly, all committed relationships experience times when love grows cold or lacks the intensity and closeness that it once held. What happened?
Regardless of the stage of our relationships, this month, we are surrounded by “love” displayed in “red,” the color of passion. Stores are packed with Valentine’s Day cards, stuffed animals, chocolate filled heart-shaped boxes both large and small, beautiful flowers, especially red roses, and of course jewelry stores strongly encouraging the gift of diamonds as an expression of love…preferably the diamond engagement ring which many single women secretly hope for on Valentine’s Day.
But I regress. What if you are struggling to keep love in your relationship? What if you are at odds with your mate/partner, and may not even be speaking to each other? Is it possible that you feel like you have fallen out of love?
Listen, love is not convenient, or based on how you feel, it is a choice and a commitment. Love is unselfish and is kind; it is patient, truthful and forgiving.
Relationships take hits such as the stress of financial difficulties, health problems, loss of loved ones, unrealistic expectations, past and current hurts, demanding work schedules and even the raising of children; these are the realities of life.
So, I challenge you during this month of “love.” Instead of waiting for your spouse/partner to shower you with love, make it a point to shower them with love…simply honor your commitment to them. Following are several inexpensive but valuable ideas to get you started which will not only benefit your spouse/partner but will benefit you!
- Ask your spouse to read this blog and commit to work together on your relationship.
- Leave encouraging Post-it notes throughout your place of residence.
- Compliment your spouse/partner.
- Practice patience.
- Inquire about your spouse/partner’s well-being and LISTEN.
- Forgive and/or apologize as appropriate.
- Be available to spend time with your spouse/partner.
- Create an encouragement box for your spouse/partner, filled with notes of love and encouragement that they can pull out and read as needed.
- Watch your spouse/partner’s favorite movie or program with them.
- Start dating again! Go on an inexpensive date like an indoor picnic.
Now it is your turn. Be creative with ideas of how you can demonstrate your love and respect for your spouse/partner. Practice it year-round. Let kindness, unselfishness, forgiveness, empathy, and compassion be your way of life in your relationship.
Remember, couples therapy is available. It provides insight to create and/or rebuild loving relationships. Couples therapy can teach you coping tools to address your relationship concerns, teach you how to communicate better with each other and much more!
Please contact me, Mary Hayes, at JP Counseling Center, Beaver, PA
724-494-6750
https://f.mtr.cool/cdcxmibddx
