11/09/2025
Eliza: Sir, I'm with the G.A.A.G.D......I'm gonna need to confiscate that beverage please.
Me: Get off me monkey. What does G.A.A.G.D even mean? I feel like you're trying to take my beer....
Eliza: It's the Goat advocates against garage drinking, and I'm the president, now give me the beverage sir.......I have the authority to forcibly remove it should you choose not to cooperate.
Me: (Chuckling) Get off me monkey, you're a fiend. You have serious brown bottle issues.
Eliza: Alright pops, you got me, but serious man give a lady a drink. I been with the kids all day and if I get woke up one more time by some other momma's kids punchin' me up in my udder bags, Imma go all Jack Torrence up in here....
Me: (Laughing Hysterically, spitting beer)
Eliza, that's probably the best excuse for a drink I've ever heard. That was hilarious, however you still can't have my beer.
Eliza: ( Beating me with her hooves )
Oh yeah, well Imma tell mom what you said about her sleeping when she come back out.....and what you say about her feet too.....
Me: Oh wow, playing dirty pool huh. You tell mom that and I'll tell her what you said about her niece the last time she was here......yeah, didn't think anyone heard you huh....
Eliza: Yeah, go ahead.....mom likes me more than you anyway....
Me: Maybe, but you're still not getting my drink, besides you remember what happened last time when Early got ahold of a bottle. Got her head stuck in a chip bag and couldn't walk straight for 3 hours.
Eliza: She's a lightweight.....GIVE ME A DRINK POPS!!!
Me: Or what about the time Ernest drank so much and the next thing he remembered was waking up at a sweet 16 party with a tiara and sunglasses on......said he smelled like Hollister perfume for a month.
Eliza: Alright, I'm telling mom.....we're done here
Me: You have sooooo much attitude goat, I love you!
