Sara Grunstein, LCSW

02/10/2026

Children are not born knowing how to handle big feelings. When a child shouts, melts down, hits, shuts down, or runs away, it is not bad behaviour. It is a sign their nervous system is overwhelmed and they need support, not punishment.

Emotional regulation is about helping children feel safe in their bodies, understand their feelings, and learn what to do when emotions feel too big. Children borrow calm from adults. They learn through connection, repetition, and steady, predictable responses. Telling a child to calm down does not work when their body does not feel safe.

When we change how we respond to behaviour, we change outcomes. Big feelings are communication. Connection comes before correction. Support builds regulation. Control builds fear.

This understanding can transform how parents, carers, teachers, and professionals support children with emotional and behavioural difficulties, trauma, sensory overwhelm, or ongoing stress.

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12/09/2025

Free HOW TO CO-REGULATE WITH A CHILD INFORMATION POSTER
Children cannot calm on their own when they feel overwhelmed. They rely on the adult to guide them back to safety. This image shows simple steps that help you co regulate with a child in moments of distress. Slow your breathing, soften your body, reduce demands, and keep your voice steady. These actions help the child feel grounded and understood. When the adult is the anchor, the child can settle and recover.

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01/10/2025

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If you or someone you know with young children has been affected by the wildfires in Southern California, our partners at Help Me Grow National have deployed care coordinators to connect you in real-time with support and services, including food, shelter, health and mental health care, diapers and more.

11/24/2024

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11/21/2024

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11/18/2024

It’s essential to understand the various challenges children face, including the often-taboo topic of p**p withholding. This behaviour can be distressing for both the child and the caregiver, and it’s crucial to approach it with empathy and understanding. In recent years, research has shed light...

08/12/2024

First, the good news: Children are very adaptable.

05/17/2024

We Nurture Collective 💕

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05/13/2024

Responsive Parenting Inspirations 💕

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03/15/2024

I often go into schools to talk to kids and teens about anxiety and big feelings.

I always ask, ‘Who’s tried breathing through big feels and thinks it’s a load of rubbish?’ Most of them put their hand up. I put my hand up too, ‘Me too,’ I tell them, ‘I used to think the same as you. But now I know why it didn’t work, and what I needed to do to give me this powerful tool (and it’s so powerful!) that can calm anxiety, anger - all big feelings.’

The thing is though, all powertools need a little instruction and practice to use them well. Breathing is no different. Even though we’ve been breathing since we were born, we haven’t been strong breathing through big feelings.

When the ‘feeling brain’ is upset, it drives short shallow breathing. This is instinctive. In the same ways we have to teach our bodies how to walk, ride a bike, talk, we also have to teach our brains how to breathe during big feelings. We do this by practising slow, strong breathing when we’re calm.

We also have to make the ‘why’ clear. I talk about the ‘why’ for strong breathing in Hey Warrior, Dear You Love From Your Brain, and Ups and Downs. Our kids are hungry for the science, and they deserve the information that will make this all make sense. Breathing is like a lullaby for the amygdala - but only when it’s practised lots during calm.♥️

03/01/2024

Co-regulating helps kids learn how to handle their emotions as they grow up and those kids are more likely to be resilient, psychologist says.