Hendershott Counseling & Consulting

06/03/2025

12/10/2023

Fear also leads to walking when we should be hanging in and giving the relarionship the best chance of succeeding. Both fear and anger inspire us to act—but they don’t tell us what the real problem is or what to do about it. The first step toward clarity is to calm ourselves down.

12/10/2023

09/18/2023

rashad

08/05/2023

Try to avoid making vague requests. (“I want you to be more sensitive to my needs.”). Let the other person know specifically what you want. (“The best way you can help me now is just to listen. I really don’t want advice at this time.”).

Some people in your life will be intuitive and tuned in to what you find comforting and helpful. Others will need you to be a generous “coach” and tell them the words or actions (say, a hug) that you want from them.

Don’t assume the latter group cares any less. Tell them what you need and remind them when you need to.

08/05/2023

As my internationally renowned colleague, the late family therapist Peggy Papp put it, "A woman who can believe in herself when no one else does, who will fight for herself when no one else will, who will continue to struggle even when she is unprotected, this woman demonstrates to her daughter that these possibilities exist."

In 2021 Peggy died peacefully in New York City at the age of 98. She was a giant in the field and made profound contributions to the understanding gender and depression, along with her many other innovations in the theory and treatment of couples and families.

07/13/2023

This is a fascinating finding and brings many of my clients relief to learn! Gottman strategies to manage the 70% of conflict that their research shows is unresolvable in a relationship, are game changers!

Dr. John Gottman’s research proves that almost 70% of problems in a relationship are unsolvable. These may be things like personality traits your partner has that rub you the wrong way, or long-standing issues around spending and saving money. Their research findings emphasize the idea that couples must learn to manage conflict rather than avoid or attempt to eliminate it.

Check back tomorrow for part 2 of our conflict blueprint series!

Learn more here: https://bit.ly/3NryUQh

07/04/2023

Kindness gets your needs met most of the time. Even if you are angry, in order to approach your partner effectively you must be kind. If you’ve paved the way for your partner to be open to you, they are more likely to hear your frustration and respond with compassion.

Being kind and gentle is a decision. Just as we offer a smile and hold the door open for a stranger, we must remember to cultivate this habit in our relationship, no matter how many months or years have passed.

Learn more from Sanaa Hyder Therapy, M.S.Ed. on our blog here: https://bit.ly/3Jn8iOW

If you are in danger, or in an abusive situation, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

06/09/2023

Yes yes yes

The act of loving others as we love ourselves is the ultimate act of care. When we set up sacred boundaries for ourselves and our well-being, we create conditions that support our long-term engagement with those we love and hold space for. How have you established continued care practice through boundaries? What boundaries allow you to love yourself as well as others? 🌞

05/22/2023

This finding is key for successful, connected couples… 🩷🩵

Dr. Gottman’s research shows that couples who start arguments gently are more likely to manage conflict effectively, without harming the relationship. One of the hardest things to do in a relationship is to be nice to your partner when you’re upset with them. It’s also one of the most important moments to be kind. Read more about "How to Be Kind When You’re Upset With Your Partner" here: https://bit.ly/4397oNC