07/07/2025
The Enneagram, cancel culture and black-and-white thinking. Are some types more vulnerable to psychological splitting?
Feel free to weigh in, but here are some initial thoughts:
Splitting is a psychological defense mechanism in which a person views people, situations, or even parts of themselves as all good or all bad, with no middle ground. It’s a way the mind tries to protect itself from the anxiety of ambivalence or contradiction.
Patterns of splitting for self observation:
• Black-and-white thinking: Someone is either idealized or devalued.
• Lack of integration: Positive and negative qualities can’t coexist in the same person or experience.

• Emotional whiplash: Feelings about someone or something can flip suddenly and dramatically.
Examples:
• A friend is perfect one day and completely untrustworthy the next based on a small disagreement.
• A person on another person as loving and the other as cruel, unable to hold both realities in tension.
• A person sees themselves as a total failure after making one mistake, forgetting past successes.
Common Contexts:
• Seen in early development (young children naturally split  and don't yet have the capacity to hold complexity  inside themselves or others ).
• Prominent in certain personality structures, especially Borderline Personality Disorder, where it helps manage intense emotional experiences.
• Can appear under stress or in a state of fear in otherwise well-integrated adults.
I'm writing about it now because it is so common in these times and social media does not lend itself to holding complexity and paradox.
A contemplative practice and self-awareness can help us grow in wisdom and inject something different into the collective.
What is the purpose of splitting?
Splitting protects our psyche from the discomfort of conflicting emotions or uncertainty by simplifying reality.
But it also prevents maturity, integration, and nuanced understanding.
All Enneagram types can split under stress or when emotionally regressed, but certain types are more prone to splitting as a default psychological defense, particularly due to their defense mechanism: with idealization/ devaluation, projection, repression, denial, introjection
Here’s a breakdown of the types most vulnerable to splitting, and why:
Heart Center:
Type 4
Why: Fours often idealize the unattainable and devalue what is present.
They can split between seeing themselves as uniquely special vs. utterly flawed or defective.
Likewise, they may adore someone or a group one day and feel deeply disappointed the next.
They can also introject. Introjection is unconsciously taking in someone else’s beliefs, values, rules, or feelings and treating them as our own without questioning them.
It’s like swallowing someone else’s voice whole. It can be a parent, teacher, religion, or culture—without chewing to see if it really fits your own values.
• Form of splitting: “You either deeply understand me—or you don’t belong in my world.”
•"You hurt me and you must be punished." (4s feel fragile on the inside. One 4 said, "I can write a compelling novel on my victim story.")
If an idealized person or group offers a belief system or a way of being in the world, and I don't question it. This can lead to splitting.
Type 2
Why: 2s can idealize those they give to (especially those they want love from) and then flip to resentment when they feel unappreciated and the other does not reciprocate with doing things the way they do it.
They may see themselves as all-loving or all mean and selfish.
• Form of splitting: “I give everything—or I shut down and withhold.”
"_____(the person I idealize) is wonderful and worthy and the people who hurt them are mean and cruel."
Inner splitting: "I'm totally giving or totally selfish and unworthy."
Head center (5/6/7):
Type 6
Why: 6s are the core fear type in the mental triad (Types 5/6/7). Besides projection, splitting is one of the core defense mechanisms for this fear type.
When in a state of fear, paranoia, and suspicion, 6s may idealize authority figures or communities until trust is broken, at which point they may completely demonize, devalue or distrust them.
They may project their worst fears onto other people or groups.
They also struggle with inner splitting: “Am I safe or in danger?” “Is this person for me or against me?” "Am I deviant according to the codes of respected authorities or my loyalty groups?"
• Form of splitting: Oscillating between loyalty and doubt; trust and betrayal. Authorities are either all bad or all good.
Body Center (8/9/1)
Type 8
Why: 8s tend to divide the world into strong vs. weak, loyal vs. disloyal.
Vulnerability can be seen as dangerous, so they split between protector and enemy, especially under threat. A small betrayal feels like a big betrayal and the other person needs to be cut off and cut out .
 (When doing typing interviews, one of my question for 8s is "How do you feel if someone betrayed you?" a less self-aware 8 will say,
"They are dead to me.")
• Form of splitting: “You’re either with me or you’re against me.”
"You're either with the people in my loyalty groups or you're against them and you must be punished."
Type 1
Why: With their black-and-white moral compass, Ones may split between right and wrong, good and bad, perfect and flawed. This can apply to themselves, others, or even institutions.
• Form of splitting: “This is either the right way or it’s wrong.”
 "Your behavior is not in compliance with my morality codes of good and bad and that means you are all bad."
 Are there types less prone to splitting?
Yes, some types are less prone, but not immune to splitting (especially in these times):
• Type 9 tends to merge rather than split, diffusing differences instead of polarizing them. (That being said, 9s can merge with someone who splits in order to avoid conflict or the discomfort of complexity,).
• Type 5 detaches and analyzes rather than emotionally idealizing or devaluing. That being said, they can become coldhearted, utilitarian and unfeeling. 
• Type 7 avoids painful ambivalence and contradictions in people through reframing rather than splitting. Yet they may unconsciously dismiss others or parts of themselves that aren't positive, inspiring, or impressive, if it evokes internal pain and suffering. 7s tend to err in not taking a stand we're taking a stand and abandoning it if it means too much pain or hard work.
• Type 3 can be chameleon-like and toggle based on who appears to be a winner.
For example, if someone they admire tends to split, they may split while in front of that person, but change when they're with someone else. 
Integration path:
To challenge psychological splitting, we can work to hold complexity, tolerate ambivalence, and integrate the light and shadow in self and others.
For each type vulnerable to splitting,
Inner work means reclaiming the parts of themselves and others they’ve pushed away or idealized—and grounding in wholeness rather than perfection or protection.
Type 4
Core split: Between special and deficient, idealized other and disappointing reality.
Integration Path:
• Learn to stay present to what is, even when it’s ordinary or emotionally flat.
• Practice reverence for the everyday allowing beauty and meaning in imperfection.
• Integrate the “boring” or “average” parts of life as worthy of love too.
• Let love be real rather than imagined or dramatic.
• Soften your idealizations and embrace your own inner beauty despite imperfections.
Mantra: “I am whole, even in the ordinary. I can love and be loved, even when it’s not special/extraordinary.”
Type 2:
Core split: Between the selfless giver and the rejected child, between idealized others and self-neglect.
Integration Path:
• Practice honest reciprocity—giving and receiving with inner boundaries. My boundaries are internal like a tall oak tree with deep roots and fluid branches where the breeze can blow. I know where I am and I'm aware when my giving is unconsciously or consciously manipulative.
• Allow feelings of resentment and unmet needs to come into awareness with compassion.
• Embrace that your worth is not dependent on being needed or adored.
• Reclaim self-care as sacred, not selfish.
Mantra: “I am loved for who I am, not just for what I give. There is a natural flow of giving and receiving, and I am part of it. There is nothing to do in this moment, but breathe in and breathe out and feel my own inner ground."
Type 6
Core split: Between trust and fear, loyalty and suspicion, dependence and rebellion.
Integration Path:
• Develop inner authority to discern between real danger and projected fear and assumptions.
• Tolerate ambiguity without needing immediate answers
• Learn to trust gradually, even amidst uncertainty or inconsistency.
• Reclaim the capacity to trust yourself without outsourcing safety/security.
Mantra: “I can hold both doubt and trust. Courage grows in my developing capacity to hold paradox inside of myself and others”

Body center:
Type 8
Core split: Between strong vs. weak, protector vs. betrayer, control vs. vulnerability.
Integration Path:
• Reclaim innocence and tenderness as strengths, not threats.
• Let down the armor when safety and trust are available.
• Make room for grief, tenderness, and even fear without shame.
• Move from force to influence, from reactivity to grounded presence.
•Soften. Make amends to yourself and others  without your brutal inner critic online
Mantra: “I can be powerful and tender. My strength includes my vulnerability.”
Type 1
Core split: Between right vs. wrong, perfection vs. failure, worthy vs. flawed.
Integration Path:
• Embrace grace over relentless self-improvement.
• Recognize that growth doesn’t require constant critique. Rather self compassion goes a long way.
• Soften the inner critic and welcome the full spectrum of being human.
• Let go of “either/or” moralism for the both/and of reality.
Mantra: “Wholeness is greater than perfection. I can rest in what is."
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An Integration Practice for All:
When you notice yourself splitting, pause and ask:
• “What part of the picture am I not seeing?”
• “Can I hold both beauty and flaw in this person or moment?”
• “What do I gain by keeping this black-and-white story intact? What would I gain by letting it go?”
• Pay attention to your family of origin and chosen groups. Did they have a tendency to split? If they didn't and you have a tendency to split, what anxiety arises in you when you are trying to hold paradox or complicity?
• Shift your internal state. Notice how that feels in your body.  Feel your own internal paradoxes and welcome them with compassion. Welcome yourself to the human race.
If with others, with curiosity, ask someone else about their experience and truly listen. When you notice your patterns and you begin to split, pause, breathe and return to that inner space a few fingers below your belly and breathe into the wholeness of your own being.
Offer it as a gift to the larger collective that is both Whole and in pain

