06/23/2022
I’ve debated on posting, but once the GoFundme organizer essentially challenged my integrity and the love and dedication between my husband and I, I felt as though the questions I’m being asked privately needed to be answered publicly.
Soon after Don was diagnosed I had a conversation with a friend of Don’s about ways he could support Don and I during the most challenging time of our lives. The friend ultimately offered to organize a GoFundme to assist with taking off some financial pressure we knew would come quickly once Don was unable to work and I would ultimately take unpaid time off so I could solely concentrate on caring for my husband. I went to Don and let him know what the friend and I spoke about and asked how he felt about the GoFundme. Don and I both agreed it would be a smart Idea and whatever was donated would be a blessing. Don knew this would be a huge task for the friend to take on and didn’t want to burden him with that responsibility, so he asked how I felt about him requesting his brother to organize. I had absolutely no concerns or doubt at the time that his brother would be a good choice. Don spoke to his brother and he graciously accepted. Don and I clearly communicated with each other what the potential funds would be used for and then those thoughts were then communicated with my brother-in-law. I also informed my brother-in-law several times I did not want to touch a dime of the money until I absolutely had to. I felt as though I needed to go through our savings to keep us afloat before I spent any of the donated funds. I did not feel as though it was right to sit on a bank account with accessible funds and use others hard earned money first. Once the kids and I returned from NC for my husbands funeral is when I began requesting for the money to be transferred to me. Unfortunately, my in laws have chosen to not have a relationship with me due to me insisting I handle all my husbands funeral arrangements. It had absolutely nothing to do with being selfish, unsympathetic to their grief, or being controlling. Planning my husbands funeral was not fun, but was my last act of love I could do as his wife. I do not regret that decision and refuse to ever feel guilty. My husbands family has made the intentional decision to cut me completely out of their lives and also be dishonest saying Don wanted the leftover money to go to Cancer Research. The only funds I have received have been from those who have requested refunds and then in turn sent directly to me. My brother-in-law has blocked me on social media and also my phone number. I requested assistance from another brother-in-law to help communicate with his brother and those request were not acknowledged.
I absolutely did not want to put family “drama” out there for all to see, but once again when people are being blatantly dishonest, challenging my integrity, and minimizing the relationship my husband and I had then that is a problem on so many levels.
I hold on to hope that truth will prevail and God will provide!
