The Feeling Expert

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Elyce Gordon, MS,LCMHC,NCC
A Psycho-Spiritual Approach To Healing

Mental Health Services: Anxiety • Depression • Trauma
Certified Level 3 Internal Family Services (IFS) Therapist
Certified International Integral Sound Healing Therapist

Information contained on this site is for educational purposes and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a mental health professional or consultant.

Overthinking is one of the most common anxiety patterns people search for help with. It can show up as rumination, worst...
02/01/2026

Overthinking is one of the most common anxiety patterns people search for help with. It can show up as rumination, worst-case thinking, mental replay, and constantly analyzing what you said, what might happen, or what you should do next. When your brain gets stuck in that loop, affirmations for overthinking can be a simple, practical tool to interrupt the cycle and shift your attention back to what is real, manageable, and within your control.

Why affirmations help with overthinking, rumination, and an anxious mind

1) Affirmations interrupt rumination and negative thought loops
Overthinking often runs on repetitive anxious thoughts: “What if something goes wrong?” “Did I mess that up?” “What if I can’t handle it?”

Using a short reframing statement gives your mind a new direction. It creates a pause between the trigger and the spiral. The goal is not to “force positivity,” but to replace unhelpful mental repetition with a more balanced thought you can return to.

2) Affirmations restore a sense of control and emotional regulation
Overthinking can make you feel overwhelmed and powerless. A strong affirmation reminds you that you can choose your next focus and next action, even if you cannot control the entire situation. This is one of the most effective ways to reduce anxiety: shift from “I have to figure everything out” to “I can handle what’s in front of me.”

Example affirmation:
“I will focus on what I can control right now.”
Other options:
“I can take one helpful step.”
“I don’t have to solve the future today.”

3) Affirmations bring you back to the present moment
A big part of overthinking is living in the past (replaying) or the future (worrying). Affirmations act as a grounding tool by bringing your attention into the present, where you can actually respond, regulate, and make choices.

Example affirmation:
“Right now, I am here. I am safe enough to breathe.”
Other options:
“This moment is what I’m managing.”
“I can slow down and come back to my body.”

At the first signs of tension, agitation, fear, or that “uh-oh” nervous feeling, try this: pause and give your brain a n...
01/31/2026

At the first signs of tension, agitation, fear, or that “uh-oh” nervous feeling, try this: pause and give your brain a new sentence to hold.

Your body doesn’t need you to power through. It needs you to interrupt the spiral early, before stress takes over the steering wheel.

Here are a few self-encouraging coping thoughts to keep in your back pocket:

• “This is a stress response, not a crisis.”
• “I can pause before I respond.”
• “I don’t have to solve everything right now.”
• “One breath. One step.”
• “It makes sense that this feels hard.”

Save this post for the next time you feel your body tighten or your mind start looping. Then pick one phrase, slow your exhale, and take the next smallest step.

- Join us at the for a captivating workshop led by Elyce of The Feeling Expert .When your nervous system needs a pau...
01/29/2026

- Join us at the for a captivating workshop led by Elyce of The Feeling Expert .

When your nervous system needs a pause, this is where you land ✨
At the Holistic Health & Healing Expo South Florida, our workshops are designed to support real-life stress, emotional well-being, and whole-person healing. We’re honored to feature Elyce Gordon, known as The Feeling Expert®, a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor who integrates clinical therapy, sound healing, and intuitive practices to support healing from anxiety, trauma, and emotional overwhelm.

Featured Workshop | Ticketed Session
Crystalline Sound Bath: Anxiety Reset + Deep Unwinding
Saturday, Feb 1 | 3:30–4:30 PM
This seated, supportive sound experience is created specifically to help your nervous system downshift. There’s nothing to fix, clear, or perform. Through crystalline tones and intentional sound frequencies, Elyce guides your body into a state of deep relaxation—softening tension held in the chest, shoulders, gut, and mind.

Expect gentle stress release, emotional regulation, and a quieter inner landscape where your system can finally exhale. This session is ideal if life has felt heavy, fast, or overwhelming.

💫 Special Expo Pricing: $10 per person
Space is limited and offered first-come, first-served.

Join us February 1st, 11am–6pm at the DoubleTree Hotel, Deerfield Beach, and experience grounded healing, trusted practitioners, and restorative moments at the Holistic Health & Healing Expo South Florida.

To learn more, please feel free to explore the site or reach out and connect! See us at the !

📍 DoubleTree by Hilton, Deerfield Beach, FL
📅 Sunday, February 1
⏰ 11:00 AM – 6:00 PM

Visit soflo.hhhexpo.com or contact us at info@hhhexpo.com

If you have ever tried to “calm down” by thinking your way out of stress, you already know how frustrating it can be. Yo...
01/29/2026

If you have ever tried to “calm down” by thinking your way out of stress, you already know how frustrating it can be. Your mind might understand that you are fine, but your body does not get the message. Your chest stays tight. Your stomach stays uneasy. Your thoughts keep racing. You can feel safe on paper and still feel unsafe inside.

This is where DBT skills can be surprisingly practical. DBT is not about forcing yourself to be positive. It is about building tools that help your nervous system settle so you can make clearer choices.

One of the simplest and most effective tools is SAFE-PLACE VISUALIZATION.

It is exactly what it sounds like. You intentionally imagine a place that feels safe, peaceful, and steady. You build it in detail. Then you let your body respond to it.

This may sound almost too easy. But there is a real clinical reason it works.

Why this works, clinically

Your brain and body respond to perceived threat, not just real threat. If your mind is replaying an argument, anticipating a difficult conversation, or scanning for what could go wrong, your nervous system can activate as if it is happening right now.

The same is true in the other direction. When you create a vivid, calming image, your body often responds with signals of safety. Slower breathing. Less muscle tension. A softer jaw. A quieter mind.

Safe-place visualization does not erase trauma. It does not fix your life. It gives your body a direct experience of settling. For many people, that is the beginning of better choices, healthier communication, and more capacity for deeper healing work.

Follow for more.

Here’s the simple chain most of us are living inside:Thoughts → Emotions → Behaviors1) Thoughts: the story your mind tel...
01/28/2026

Here’s the simple chain most of us are living inside:

Thoughts → Emotions → Behaviors

1) Thoughts: the story your mind tells (fast and often automatic)
A “thought” isn’t always a full sentence. Sometimes it’s a quick assumption, a mental image, or a prediction.

• Example: You text a friend and they don’t respond.
Your thought might be: “They’re annoyed with me,” or “I said something wrong,” or “They’re probably busy.” Same situation. Different thought.

2. Emotions: the feeling that follows the meaning
Your emotions are not created by the event alone—they’re mostly shaped by what your brain decides the event means.

• Thought: “They’re annoyed with me.”
• Emotion: anxiety, embarrassment, dread.
• Thought: “They’re probably busy.”

Emotion: neutral, maybe mild curiosity. This is why two people can experience the exact same moment and feel completely different inside.

Emotions aren’t just “in your head.” They come with physical changes like heart rate, tension, stomach drop, heat in your face, a rush of energy, heaviness, etc. So now you’re not only thinking something… you’re feeling it in your body.

3. Behaviors: what you do to relieve, protect, or regain control
Behavior is often your brain’s attempt to solve the discomfort created by the emotion.
• If you feel anxious: you might overthink, double-text, people-please, or seek reassurance.
• If you feel embarrassed: you might withdraw, go quiet, or avoid the person.
• If you feel angry: you might snap, criticize, or get defensive.
• If you feel helpless: you might procrastinate or shut down.

If you’re working on stress management, anxiety, burnout, or emotional intelligence, this thought–emotion–behavior loop is one of the most practical places to start.

Save this for the next time you feel triggered.

The Window of Tolerance: How to Tell When You’re In It, When You’re Not, and Why It Changes EverythingIf you have ever s...
01/27/2026

The Window of Tolerance: How to Tell When You’re In It, When You’re Not, and Why It Changes Everything

If you have ever said, “I do not know why I reacted like that,” you are not alone. I hear this from clients all the time. They are not trying to be difficult. They are describing a nervous system moment.

The “window of tolerance” is a simple way to understand those moments. It explains why you can be calm and reasonable on Tuesday, and then feel like a completely different person on Thursday when life hits the wrong nerve.

What the window of tolerance means

Your window of tolerance is the zone where your nervous system can handle stress while you stay connected to yourself. When you are in your window, you can think clearly. You can feel emotions without being taken over by them. You can listen. You can speak without exploding or shutting down. You can choose your response.

When you are outside your window, your system shifts into protection. It is biology. Its how your brain and body prioritize survival over reflection in the moment. That is when you might snap, freeze, overthink, people please, or disappear emotionally.

The window is not a perfect place where nothing bothers you. It is simply the range where your system can tolerate what is happening and still stay present.

Why it matters in daily life

When you are outside your window, your environment feels different. A neutral comment can feel like criticism. A delayed text can feel like rejection. A busy room can feel like threat. Your nervous system changes the meaning of what you are experiencing.

This is why two people can be in the same situation and respond completely differently. It is not only about personality. It is about nervous system capacity in that moment.

Inside the window, you have options. Outside the window, you have impulses.

When people hear “inner child,” they sometimes picture something fluffy or dramatic. In real life, it’s simpler than tha...
01/26/2026

When people hear “inner child,” they sometimes picture something fluffy or dramatic. In real life, it’s simpler than that. Your inner child is the part of you that learned what to expect from people, what love costs, and what you have to do to stay safe. Those lessons don’t stay in childhood though. They grow up with you. Those become trauma responses as adults.

As a therapist, I meet adults every week who are successful on the outside and quietly struggling on the inside. They don’t need a lecture about mindset. They need a better explanation of what’s happening in their nervous system and why certain situations feel so intense.

This is what inner child wounds are: unfinished emotional learning that still shows up as adult reactions.

A child’s job is not to be resilient. A child’s job is to attach. Children are wired to stay connected to the people they depend on. So when a child experiences something that feels unsafe, unpredictable, or emotionally confusing, their system adapts. Not with thoughtful choices. With survival strategies.

Here’s the clinical part of how inner child wounds are formed: when a child doesn’t have consistent emotional safety, the nervous system learns to scan for threat. The mind learns to predict outcomes. The body learns to brace. Then those protective strategies become automatic.

Healing from childhood trauma isn’t reliving your childhood. It’s meeting your present-day triggers with a new response. It’s learning how to recognize when a younger part is activated and bringing in steadiness, compassion, and clarity.

In my work, we often focus on three things:
• Awareness: noticing the pattern in real time without shaming yourself for it
• Regulation: helping the body settle so you can respond instead of react
• Repair: changing the relationship you have with yourself and the people around you

The Real Goal of Nervous System Safety IsFeeling Safe in Your BodyWhy Does the Act of Receiving Feel Like a Risk? From a...
01/25/2026

The Real Goal of Nervous System Safety IsFeeling Safe in Your Body

Why Does the Act of Receiving Feel Like a Risk? From a nervous system perspective, receiving means letting something cross your boundary. That could be emotional support, care, attention, or even success.

However, if boundaries were crossed in your past, or if receiving something came with strings attached, your body learned to equate that with danger.

So even now, when someone offers something genuinely supportive, your system may react with protective response like, tension, doubt, the urge to give back immediately, or the need to explain or justify. Your body may feel like its always in survival mode.

But receiving isn’t about getting more things. It’s about having an internal environment that can hold what shows up.

When your nervous system feels safe:
• You can receive support without fear
• You can enjoy good moments without waiting for the drop
• You can take aligned action without burning out
• You can trust yourself to navigate what comes next

This is not a quick fix. It’s a relationship with your nervous system. Its healing the nervous system through safety. Before openness is possible, your nervous system has to register safety.

Safety doesn’t mean nothing bad will ever happen. It means your system believes it can handle what happens without being overwhelmed.

When your body feels safer, it stops bracing. In an open state, your body is more relaxed. Your breathing is steadier. Your mind is less urgent.

You’re not scanning as much. You’re not preparing for impact. This is the state where receiving becomes accessible.

If this resonated, you don’t have to figure out regulation on your own.
Our Nervous System Guide that walks you through simple, body-based ways to help your nervous system feel safe again, step by step, at your own pace.
It’s designed for real life, not perfect conditions.

👉 Download the Regulation eBook and start building safety from the inside out.

https://thefeelingexpert.com/product/my-body-is-trying-to-help-me-not-hurt-me/
The Feeling Expert® provides trauma-informed nervous system healing

Not all forms of abuse have visible signs or indicators. Some may have an impact on you before you even understand what'...
01/24/2026

Not all forms of abuse have visible signs or indicators. Some may have an impact on you before you even understand what's happening, such as emotional abuse.

Doing something with the intention of taking advantage of someone or hurting them, qualifies as abuse. Abusers create a pattern over time by affecting your thoughts and emotions, wearing you down.

Some of these attitudes and behaviors may signal someone is emotionally abusing you:

• Intimidation tactics
• Verbal threats
• Isolating you from your family and friends
• Humiliating or teasing you
• Instilling self doubt
• Projecting shame & blame onto you
• Giving you the silent treatment
• Gaslighting
• Monitoring and controlling your behavior
• Name-calling and derogatory nicknames
• Being dismissive
• Belittling your accomplishments
• Stonewalling

Avoid self-blame. No matter what you've done or said, keep in mind that you never deserve to be abused. The abuser is the only one who must answer for their actions.

In cases of severe emotional abuse, there may be no choice but to leave the relationship. You may also want to seek a therapist to help you navigate through an abusive relationship.

Why These Nervous System Responses Feel AutomaticProtective parts act fast because they were formed in situations where ...
01/23/2026

Why These Nervous System Responses Feel Automatic

Protective parts act fast because they were formed in situations where there wasn’t time to think.

They are just responding to emotional memory, not present reality.

From a clinical standpoint, this is why telling yourself to “calm down” or “think logically” often doesn’t work. The thinking part of your brain is not in charge when these responses activate.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps by identifying which part is reacting and why, instead of trying to suppress the reaction.

When a protective part takes over, you are not only responding to what’s happening now. You are also responding to what happened before in your past. Your response is based on old wounds and trauma.

Your system recognizes patterns. If a present-day situation carries the same emotional tone as a past experience, the response comes from that earlier time.

This is why reactions can feel intense, urgent, or overwhelming even when the current situation doesn’t seem to warrant it.

IFS describes this as blending, when a part temporarily takes over the system.

How IFS Therapy Helps Regulate Fight or Flight

IFS does not try to eliminate fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses. It helps you understand and work with them.

• In IFS therapy, the process involves:
• Identifying the protective part that is reacting
• Understanding what it is trying to prevent
• Learning when and why it took on its role
• Helping it feel supported by your adult self

When protective parts trust that you can handle emotional intensity now, they don’t have to react as strongly or as often.

This creates more space between trigger and response.

Get my Meet Your Parts guide. Link in bio.
https://thefeelingexpert.com/product/ifs-and-the-roles-your-parts-play-when-protecting-you/

When you’re emotionally overwhelmed, your instinct might be to push through it, analyze it, or fix it right away. For a ...
01/22/2026

When you’re emotionally overwhelmed, your instinct might be to push through it, analyze it, or fix it right away. For a lot of people, that only makes things worse.

Thoughts speed up.
Emotions intensify.
Your body stays tense.

So how do you regulate your nervous system?

This is where a DBT skill called distraction with enjoyable activities comes in. And despite how simple it sounds, it’s often misunderstood.

Distraction technique used in DBT isn’t about avoidance, it’s about regulation.

What’s Actually Happening When You’re Overwhelmed

When emotions are high, your nervous system is in survival mode. Your brain is prioritizing threat, urgency, and protection. In that state, insight, reflection, and emotional processing are limited.

Trying to “figure it out” while you’re flooded is like trying to think clearly in the middle of a fire alarm. The system needs to settle first.

DBT recognizes this and offers distraction as a temporary regulation tool, not a long-term escape. Distraction is used as a short-term skill when emotions are too intense to process in the moment.

The goal isn’t to ignore your feelings. The goal is to help your system calm enough so those feelings don’t take over everything. Reset your nervous system.

When your nervous system is calmer, you’re better able to:
• Reflect instead of react
• Name what you’re actually feeling
•Decide what needs attention and what doesn’t

Why STOP Works When Emotions Are IntenseFrom a nervous system perspective, STOP works because it slows the emotional cas...
01/21/2026

Why STOP Works When Emotions Are Intense

From a nervous system perspective, STOP works because it slows the emotional cascade.

Strong emotions create urgency. Urgency narrows attention and pushes action. STOP interrupts that loop long enough for regulation to begin.

It doesn’t remove the emotion. It reduces the intensity so the emotion doesn’t hijack your behavior.

Over time, practicing STOP helps your system learn that you don’t have to react immediately to be safe.

Follow for more tips nervous system regulation.

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