Jamie Van LCPC at MBS Idaho Counseling

09/11/2022

03/25/2022

While the 5:1 ratio is a good one to keep in mind for difficult conversations, Gottman’s research found that 20:1 is a good ratio to aim for in everyday life.

The Marriage Minute twice weekly email offers simple and researched-based tips on keeping the magic in your everyday. Sign up for free: http://bit.ly/2qB8FAc

10/23/2021

09/24/2021

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/09/04/1033672045/6-tips-for-coping-with-covid-anxiety-this-fall-and-winter

09/24/2021

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So simple. But so delicious.
Xx


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Register Somatic Experiencing® Virtual Conference! https://traumahealing.org/conf1
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Register is for our Somatic Experiencing International’s Virtual Conference: “I’m Here!” Somatic Experiencing in the 21st Century, honoring the legacy of our founder,
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Click the link to register: https://traumahealing.org/conf1
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editheger


.nirdoshkohra
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billingsley

06/18/2021

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Repost from .burn.rise
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Save this one and use it once a day during your work week! 1 minute of self awareness can change your whole day/mood. 😊

Drop your shoulders down and back. We store a lot of tension here and added technology/phone use increases tension. Move your neck side to side while you’re at it for an added relaxation bonus.

Our jaw is usually one of the first places we tense up. Cue TMJ and tension headaches. Unclench your teeth and relax. Breathe. Relax more. Breathe again. Releasing your jaw will also help your hips relax.

Shake out your hands. Open and close them. Stretch your fingers. Along with technology use, tension and anxiety can manifest here. Shake them. Let all excess energy go!

When we get focused or have a lot of chronic stress/tension, we get tunnel vision. Move your eyes around. Side to side and up and down. This helps prevent migraines and tension headaches.

Relaxing your tongue also helps to relax your jaw and face. Stick it out and exhale through the mouth! Tension manifests mostly subconscious here. We bite our tongues and hold back our words a lot. Relax. Let the stress flow out.

Take 3 deep breaths in and out of your belly. This is the fastest way to reconnect with your body and self. Notice a clearer mind and less tension almost immediately.

Hope this helps! It’s a daily practice I’ve been doing for years and is great for us all to get into a habit of.

Pro Tip!
Set an alarm on your phone for 1 or 2 times per day and do them.
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06/02/2021

What questions do you ask your partner during conflict?

You may feel tempted to find a quick resolution or agree to disagree, but these moments are actually opportunities to grow closer. Behind every never-ending argument are unspoken dreams waiting to be expressed.

Turn conflict into a learning opportunity with these open-ended questions from the Gottman Relationship Blog: https://bit.ly/2S0ZV4c

03/26/2021

When something you said (or didn’t say) hurts your partner’s feelings, there’s a strong impulse to interrupt with, “That wasn’t my intention. You’re misunderstanding me,” even before your partner is done talking.

Unfortunately, when you, the listener, reacts to what your partner is saying before they get the chance to fully explain themselves, you both are left feeling misunderstood. While it’s important to complain without blame and state a positive need to help prevent the listener from flooding or responding defensively, in a healthy relationship it’s also vital for the listener to learn to self-soothe.

Ditch the defensiveness and discover how self-soothing can allow you to maintain yourself and the connection with your partner during conflict on the Gottman Relationship Coach. Get started today: https://bit.ly/3ci5PUO

01/30/2021

The smallest exchanges between you and your partner, most of which seem totally irrelevant to your relationship, have the power to ultimately make or break it.

Give close attention to how you and your partner interpret each other’s responses to bids— whether this happens consciously or unconsciously—so that you learn exactly how to create positive change in your own relationship. Keep in mind that bids occur in our relationships constantly. Bids range from kisses on the cheek and asking “do you want to watch a movie?” to a heavy sigh and sharing about a difficult interaction at work.

As you begin to engage with your partner in healthy styles of communication, the two of you may be surprised to see what a difference the smallest exchanges can make. Read more about why you should turn towards instead of away: http://bit.ly/39uT0Go