03/01/2026
A Public Statement from Your 24/7 Doctor (Apparently Also a Stunt Driver)
Dear Patients,
If you hear rumors that your primary care provider briefly achieved liftoff in a blue, rusty pickup truck today… please know the following:
1. Your prescriptions were still sent on time.
2. No medical advice was delayed during takeoff.
3. Yes, the truck did, in fact, come off all four wheels.
Now let me explain.
It was supposed to be a “quick test drive.” That’s how these things always start. One minute you’re discussing cholesterol management, the next you’re strapping on a helmet that looks like it belongs in a 1970s Evel Knievel tribute show.
The truck—affectionately known as Gloria—had two speeds: “Not Sure” and “Hold On.”
My racing partner said, “I bet she’s still got it.”
She did.
Unfortunately, what she “had” was lift.
When that truck launched into the air like a patriotic toaster, I had exactly three thoughts:
1. I hope my patients appreciate commitment.
2. I should have stretched.
3. This is going to be in the group text.
For a brief moment, we were airborne. Suspended between heaven and a questionable suspension system.
My buddy yelled, “WE’RE FLYING!”
I calmly replied, “Technically this is unplanned altitude.”
We landed with the grace of a dropped filing cabinet. The dust cloud could be seen from three parishes away.
And what did I do immediately after?
Answered a patient call.
Because while Gloria may leave the ground… your doctor does not.
If you’ve ever wondered whether I’m truly available 24/7, just know this:
• I will respond to your message.
• I will refill your medication.
• I will discuss your lab results.
• I may or may not be wearing a star-spangled helmet at the time.
Rest assured:
Your blood pressure will be managed.
Your diabetes will be monitored.
And your doctor will probably stay inside the truck next time.
Probably.
Warm regards,
Your slightly airborne, always available physician 🚑🏁
The photo is real, the story…. embellished by ChatGPT!