03/21/2022
Finishing a full day of counseling I’m struck by three common themes in almost all of my clients
1). Giving back things we’ve internalized that are not ours: Shaming, being judged, absorbing projections, being seen in a way that’s deeply incongruent to how we experience ourselves. Push that stuff back out of your solar plexus and seal your precious heart from letting bu****it in again. Our need to be liked and wanted by others often is so desperate we take their perceptions on. Truth is other people are almost always projecting, short of gnosis (direct seeing) other people see us through their opinions, through their internalizations of the world. This not only is inaccurate, it’s also harmful. Our perceptions of reality are precious, and anchoring in confidence in knowing ourselves is primary. Don’t dare let someone else tell you who you are unless it’s deeply attuned, deeply congruent.
2). Taking personal responsibility: The power of moving from victim (complaining) to author (what I’m doing going forward) is unmatched. Even when it’s not your fault, you can take personal responsibility. What am I going to do with this? Choosing how I am going to react rather than faulting “you”. This immediately gives me a path of growth, immediately allows me a new opportunity for shaping my world in a way that is congruent to my values.
3). Anything worthwhile takes work: This means a willingness to steer in to discomfort. It also means you need a desire, you’ve got to want it. Anything without heart, feels soul sucking. There is no easy road to anything that lasts. An amazing career, wealth, love, deep healing, you may even stumble upon some profound realization about God haphazardly, but for any of those things to last over decades we need to put in work. Practice, effort, steering in to battle, not avoiding it. Pouring energy in, builds something back. 😘😘😘
