Chelsey Brooke Cole

Chelsey Brooke Cole Psychotherapist & best selling author specializing in narcissistic abuse & complex trauma.

Psychotherapist and Certified Trauma Partner Therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse and helping introverts/empaths thrive!

Have you ever walked away from a conversation knowing something felt wrong… but you couldn’t explain why?You replay it i...
02/20/2026

Have you ever walked away from a conversation knowing something felt wrong… but you couldn’t explain why?

You replay it in your head.
You question yourself.
You wonder if you’re overreacting, being "too sensitive," or making a big deal out of nothing.

That is what narcissistic abuse does.

It teaches you to doubt your own reality.

I’m working on a new project—a podcast dedicated to the honest, grounded truth of recovery.

As a therapist and a survivor, I know that healing takes more than just learning the definitions of narcissism.

It’s about rebuilding your sense of self, helping your nervous system feel safe again, and restoring your belief in your future.

I want this show to be a space where we move past the clichés and toxic positivity to talk about what actually helps you create a path forward.

But before I release the first few episodes, I want to hear from you:

What part of the healing journey feels the most "stuck" for you right now?

Whether it’s setting boundaries that actually fit who you are, or learning how to stop seeing yourself through the lens of what you survived—what topics do you want me to dive into?

Drop a comment below or send me a DM if you'd prefer to share privately.

I’m reading every single one!

Who has the narcissist said that you are?How have they defined you?What have they said about you?Whatever it is, I assur...
02/20/2026

Who has the narcissist said that you are?

How have they defined you?

What have they said about you?

Whatever it is, I assure you: It's not the truth.

Because narcissists don't live in truth; they live in lies.

Their whole world is founded on a false narrative.

They aren't honest with themselves about who THEY are; they certainly aren't honest about who YOU are.

They just want you to believe you're someone that you're not so you're easier to control.

If you aren't sure who you are, then they can more easily TELL YOU who you are.

And they will mold you into the person that benefits THEM the most.

Which means they will say you're:

Difficult.
Controlling.
Selfish.
Too sensitive.
Ungrateful.

So that you will try to:

Be more compromising.
Make less requests.
Shrink yourself further.

To not be an "inconvenience" or "burden" to them.

Who has the narcissist made you out to be - and what part of you do you want to reclaim today?

Living with a narcissist keeps you on edge.Because you don't know WHEN the next conflict is going to happen…You just kno...
02/19/2026

Living with a narcissist keeps you on edge.

Because you don't know WHEN the next conflict is going to happen…

You just know it's going to come, SOMETIME.

Usually without warning.
Usually when you think things might be better.
Usually when you've let your guard down a little.

So telling someone in a narcissistic relationship to "Just stop ruminating" or "Stay calm" is like telling someone to sleep well when they know they're going to be robbed.

It's not that they're trying to stay hypervigilant-

It's that they're living with a source of harm.

Can you relate to this?

If you want to learn how narcissist's keep you stuck in guilt, self-doubt, and exhaustion, check out my new free masterclass, The Narcissist's Playbook.

Link in comments!

This myth can keep you stuck for years or decades:"Narcissists care, they just don't know how to express it."Because whe...
02/18/2026

This myth can keep you stuck for years or decades:

"Narcissists care, they just don't know how to express it."

Because when you think they *care,* you think there's hope.

Hope things can improve.
They can learn.
They can grow.

You think it's a communication issue.

Like somehow they just don't know HOW to accurately describe how they feel.

You give them the benefit of the doubt, assuming they just "aren't good with their words" or "don't know how to express themselves."

You say, "They're just the stoic type."

"They didn't come from an expressive family."
"They don't say things well, but they mean well."

So you overlook the passive aggressive comments.

You dismiss the manipulations.
You downplay the criticisms.

And no doubt there are other people in your life affirming that this person "means well" or is "innocent" of any wrongdoing.

But narcissists exploit this assumption.

Especially the covert/vulnerable ones...

They count on you being easy on them.
Not expecting too much from them.
Not depending on them.

If they convince you to believe they "can't help" how they say things...

Then they can say anything-

No matter how cruel, vindictive, or mean-

And be absolved of any guilt.

Bottom line: They know; they just don't care.

If you'd like to make sense of narcissists' behaviors, check out my new masterclass, The Narcissist's Playbook.

Link in comments!

I know you might not be where you want to be...But you're not where you were.You're not who you were before you knew nar...
02/17/2026

I know you might not be where you want to be...

But you're not where you were.

You're not who you were before you knew narcissism existed.

You're not the same person who believes that everyone means well.

You're not as easily willing to dismiss your gut feelings.

On the road to healing, it's easy to only look ahead and judge yourself for not being further along.

But this does you a great disservice.

Because while you're looking at where you think you "should" be, you're not appreciating how far you've come.

How much you've changed.
How much you've grown.

It's easy to overlook the "small" changes.

But if you overlook the subtle shifts, you'll miss the transformations entirely.

Because big changes are inherently made up of powerful, yet incremental shifts in the right direction.

If you judge yourself a little less harshly...

If you aren't triggered for quite as long...

If you make more self-honoring choices...

You've changed.
You've healed.
You've made transformations.

This doesn't mean you're "done" healing (as no healthy, self-reflective person ever is)-

But this DOES mean you have something to be proud of: You.

What changes have you made on your healing journey?

P.S. If you've been feeling stuck or want to go deeper, check out my new free masterclass The Narcissist's Playbook - this will help lift the fog, exhaustion and self-doubt that might still be lingering. Link in comments!

It's a common mistake to think you can spot a narcissist by their grandiose, charming facade.We usually look for the lou...
02/16/2026

It's a common mistake to think you can spot a narcissist by their grandiose, charming facade.

We usually look for the loudest person in the room, but narcissism isn't one-size-fits-all.

If you only look for the obvious signs, you miss the red flags that aren't so loud.

Understanding the different ways these traits show up is the best way to protect yourself.

Here are three main types to be aware of:

1. The Grandiose Narcissist

This is the "classic" version. They are charming, extroverted, and the life of the party.

They carry an air of superiority and entitlement.

2. The Vulnerable (Covert) Narcissist

These types are much harder to catch. They often seem quiet, reserved, or even anxious.

Instead of bragging, they play the victim.

You might notice them acting sullen at social events or making passive-aggressive comments about others to mask their own insecurities.

3. The Malignant Narcissist

This is the most dangerous type, as this is where narcissism meets a total lack of empathy and a cold, calculating drive for power.

They aren't just looking for praise; they're exploitative and focused on control at any cost.

When it comes to narcissism, knowledge is power.

When you know what to look for—and more importantly, how these different personalities make you feel—you can recognize them much faster.

Narcissistic behavior follows a specific script, and once you see the playbook, you can’t un-see it.

If you'd like to watch my new free masterclass, The Narcissist's Playbook, check the link in the comments!

Narcissists want you to think the problem... is you.And that if you "fixed" whatever was wrong with you, the relationshi...
02/15/2026

Narcissists want you to think the problem... is you.

And that if you "fixed" whatever was wrong with you, the relationship problems wouldn't exist anymore.

This is a very self-serving idea.

Because it means for a long time, you look at yourself more than them.

Instead of looking at what they're doing, you look at how you're reacting.

You think:

"If I wouldn't have..."
"I should've known better..."
"If I could only..."

Instead of:

"They shouldn't have yelled at me."
"Their betrayals are why I don't trust them."
"They never follow through on their promises."

Because in the right context, your reactions make total sense.

Of course you're suspicious of someone who has a history of lying.

Of course you feel anxious around someone who's hypercritical of you.

Of course you ruminate when reality is constantly being rewritten.

These aren't "signs" of your internal brokenness.

They're signs of an abusive dynamic.

So no-

Loving THEM more isn't the answer; but loving yourself IS.

How does this truth change things for you?

Narcissists are notorious for ruining holidays.And Valentine's Day is no different.For a healthy couple, this day is abo...
02/14/2026

Narcissists are notorious for ruining holidays.

And Valentine's Day is no different.

For a healthy couple, this day is about connection.

For a narcissist, it’s about control.

They usually play it one of two ways:

In the beginning, they’ll go over the top.

Expect the massive flower arrangements, the expensive dinner, and the "perfect" social media post.

It *feels* like connection, but look closer: Is it about making YOU feel seen, or is it about THEM gaining praise and attention for how "amazing" they are?

If the relationship is established, they often feel "threatened" by a day that asks them to focus on your needs.

To get the focus back on themselves, they might:

-Start a random fight over breakfast so they have an excuse to cancel plans.

-Dismiss the holiday as "corporate greed" to make you feel shallow for wanting to celebrate.

-Go cold or "disappear" for the day, leaving you anxious and waiting by the phone (this is especially common if you're just dating or aren't "official" yet)

So, what can you do?

Make sure you have plans of your *own.*

Whether it's settling in with a good book, going out with friends, starting a puzzle, or spending the day exploring a nearby city...

Focus on something *you* can control.

How do you plan to spend Valentine's Day?

Narcissists have no limit to what you "should" be doing for them.You "should" always put their needs first.You "should" ...
02/13/2026

Narcissists have no limit to what you "should" be doing for them.

You "should" always put their needs first.

You "should" always be the one to apologize.

You "should" always be the one trying to make things better.

Their "shoulds" are so loud, they begin to sound like commands.

Not as options, but as necessary directives.

And the louder their "shoulds," the quieter your own voice becomes.

The harder it is to recognize your choices.

Narcissists don't want you to think that you have choices.

Because with the recognition of a choice, comes the loss of their power.

Today, ask yourself: "What am I doing because I think that I 'should' do it?"

"What have I been told that I 'should' do, be, or have?"

Then question what you find.

Who said you had to do those things?
Are those the same people that are benefiting from your self-sacrifice?
What would you do if you could do anything?

Look to see what choices you have that you might've just dismissed because you didn't think they were an option.

This is a powerful shift toward breaking free.

02/12/2026

What do you do with people who just don’t understand narcissistic abuse?

Why do you keep getting stuck in narcissistic relationships?

How do you deal with the heartbreak of constant betrayal?

These are just a few of the deep dive questions I answered in my recent interview with Jeff Davis !

I also shared more of my personal story with narcissistic abuse, how I healed, and how I help others do the same.

Listen to the full interview below!

How much do you care what the narcissist thinks of you?What about their enablers?Flying monkeys?What about the people wh...
02/12/2026

How much do you care what the narcissist thinks of you?

What about their enablers?
Flying monkeys?

What about the people who just don't "get it" and they think you're being overdramatic?

There are a lot of people who misunderstand you when you're dealing with narcissistic abuse.

This is part of the heaviness and the loneliness of this type of abuse.

And no matter how much you explain...
No matter how many videos you send...
No matter how many conversations you have...

Some people never get it.

Some because they don't want to.
Others because they can't imagine that someone like a narcissist exists.

But your healing can't depend on their understanding.

Your sense of self can't depend on what they think of you.

Your peace of mind can't come from their agreement.

As impossible as it might seem right now, you can't care what they think of you.

Because if you do, you'll stay stuck:

Ruminating.
Justifying.
Replaying scenarios.
Wondering if you're missing something.

It's not easy to make this shift, but keep these truths in mind:

They didn't experience what you did.
They don't know what you know.
They don't know the narcissist like you do.
They don't have a special knowledge of what's true or not true.
They didn't live your life.

No one knows what you went through better than you.
No one knows how the narcissist treated you better than you.

No one knows what happened behind closed doors… but you.

How can remembering these truths help you?

Address

Bowling Green, KY

Website

https://linktr.ee/chelseybrookecole, https://geni.us/ifonlyidknownbook

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