11/12/2025
Look, I get it. I used to put everything on my plate, and arrive at Christmas feeling totally strung out.
Until I said NO MORE. Who is that fun for? No one, is who. I say no one put’s baby in the corner this holiday season (ie moms carrying it all and feeling like no one is caring for them).
The thing is, we can either enable this narrative, or decide to change it.
A few years back we decided that since I inevitably purchase a majority of the gifts, that Dave (and now Bella too) would wrap all of them and also take full charge of the stockings.
This means that Christmas Eve I am straight chilling. If Dave leaves the wrapping and stockings to the last minute, that’s on him! I know my job is done and I can just chill. (And he actually doesn’t mind doing things more last minute).
We already share the workload of making meals, etc. But that’s another huge one.
I honestly don’t mind wrapping gifts and stockings, and even sort of like it, but realizing I felt I needed to do that was just me wanting to control everything so it would be ‘holiday perfect’ said in a very shrill voice. And boooo. It’s no fun to carry all that. So don’t!
Go to a yoga class. Remember your kids don’t care about perfection. They just want to be around a happy mom. If you can’t let go of things, try nervous system work (so you don’t have to be in control of everything or have it all be perfect to feel safe), therapy, going for a walk with a friend.
It’s also not helpful to micromanage your partner about all the things or say ‘I’ll just do it myself’.
I have so been there. And it led to total burnout.
Put yourself as a top priority on your Christmas list!