07/21/2025
For your reading pleasure. I will sometimes write about a client’s experience of Constellation work, and share their experience. I have never shared what happens to me as a facilitator during the process, until now.
I’M GOING TO LET YOU SEE THIS
She came at the invitation of a friend.
Throughout the day, I watched her slowly attune to the space. She was quiet and observant but deeply present. You can feel when someone is being moved from the inside, even if they haven't said a word. The way her body responded to the work in the circle —the subtle shifts in her breathing, the wetness in her eyes—something was stirring. Remembered, perhaps.
Later in the day, as we were beginning to close, she raised her hand to do a piece of work. It was about a childhood trauma she had carried in silence for years—something she had never told her mother because her mother had suffered a similar trauma herself.
Out of love, out of loyalty, out of some primal sense of protection, she kept it to herself.
What unfolded was familiar—generational trauma, entanglement, the unspoken burdens children carry in service of the family soul. But this time, something else emerged.
Something in her willingness. In the way, she stepped forward, not just with her words, but with her whole being.
During the constellation, she looked at me. I mean, looked. It wasn't fear or hesitation in her gaze but something else.
Something that transcends what we can explain or define.
It was a moment of profound trust. And I don't use those words lightly. It felt like she was offering me something sacred. As if, in that one look, she said:
"I'm going to let you see this. I trust you to hold it. I trust you to hold me."
And the truth is, I don't know exactly what happened. But I felt it. In my chest. In the space between us. Something ancient and spiritual passed through. It wasn't about the details of the story or even the resolution. It was about presence.
A deep recognition, like a soul remembering that it's safe now to let go.
We often speak about "holding space" in this work, but sometimes it feels more like being held by the space itself—both of us. As if something larger moves through and says, Let this be seen now. Let this be released.
I've sat with many constellations, many expressions of grief, of trauma, of longing. But now and then, a moment arrives that humbles you. That leaves you changed. That reminds you, this work is not a technique.
It is a relationship, trust, love, and, yes, spirit!
📅 Upcoming Events
August 23, 2025 • East Haven, CT
“You Will Be Found: Moving Toward a Deeper Connection” — A one-day Family Constellations workshop aimed at healing relational trauma
*Only a few spots left* September 12–14, 2025 • Dublin, Ireland
“How Do You Want to Be Loved?” — A profound experiential workshop exploring love and embodiment
December 4–7, 2025 • Shoreline Center, CT
“Love & Surrender: A Winter Shoreline Retreat” — A retreat focusing on the power of surrender and emotional transformation
January–November, 2026 • New Haven, CT
2026 Family Constellations Facilitator Training — An in-depth immersion in Family Constellations for those looking to facilitate and deepen their understanding of the work
