Kaye B. Williams Counseling

11/30/2025

True!

So very grateful. 🩷🩷🩷🩷

11/26/2025

11/25/2025

Here’s a picture from one of my favorite movies, and also some helpful advice.

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11/17/2025

**TRAUMA SAYS:**
I need to explain everything so they don't misunderstand me or get upset.
Because in the past, silence meant danger. A wrong tone, a delayed response, or even an innocent question could trigger conflict I never saw coming. Trauma trained me to over-explain as a way to protect myself—an armor made of apologies, clarifications, and unnecessary justifications. I learned to scan every expression, every pause, every shift in someone’s voice to make sure I wasn’t the cause of their discomfort. I learned to believe that if someone became upset, it must be my fault. So I rehearsed my words, minimized my needs, and carried the weight of everyone else’s reactions as if they belonged to me.

**HEALING SAYS:**
I will no longer explain myself out of fear.
How someone perceives my truth is a reflection of them. And if there's any misunderstanding, the right people will ask, not assume. Healing reminds me that communication doesn't need to be a performance or a survival strategy. It can be a simple exchange rooted in respect, curiosity, and openness. Healing teaches me that I am not responsible for managing someone else's emotions, expectations, or projections. It teaches me that my sincerity is enough, that my needs are valid without a full presentation deck, and that my boundaries stand firm even if they disappoint someone.

Healing whispers that the people meant for me—those with emotional maturity, empathy, and self-awareness—won’t demand explanations to feel safe. They will meet me where I am, ask for clarity when needed, and hold space without assuming the worst. With them, I don’t have to shrink myself, over-talk, or defend every decision. I can simply exist.

Healing also gently points out that misunderstandings are a normal part of human connection, not a sign of failure. The right people won’t punish me for them; they will participate in resolving them. They will come closer, not pull away.

Most importantly, healing encourages me to trust my voice again—to speak from truth instead of fear, to share without performing, and to let authenticity replace anxiety.

11/17/2025

Fawning is a hybrid response, activating the sympathetic (hyperarousal) and parasympathetic (hypoarousal) branches of the autonomic nervous system at the same time.

• The hyperarousal aspect of fawning has us instinctively managing the moods and states of those “in charge.” We lean into the very relationships that are causing us harm, appeasing our perpetrators while taking personal responsibility for all relational difficulties. Fawning can be incredibly active.

• But at the same time, we are detaching from ourselves. The hypoarousal of fawning numbs our connection to self, our broader sense of agency, and often, our ability to feel the effects of the abuse at all.

We are threading a fine needle when we fawn, neither risking greater harm through fight or flight, nor shutting down completely. This highly adaptive response is moving beyond playing dead to playing LIFE. We are playing pretend, and we don’t even know it. We are playing house, playing the game (to survive or escape our situation), playing a part—sometimes as many parts as there are people in our lives.

🌟Click the link in my bio to get a Free PDF on the Fawning Trauma Response and to order FAWNING: Why the need to please makes us lose ourselves – and how to find our way back. AVAILABLE NOW 🤗

11/17/2025

If you asked me how I did as a mom, I'd say I did my best. I showed up. I loved hard. I kept going. But if you asked me deeper, I'd say: I'm sorry for the moments I was short-tempered or overwhelmed. I'm sorry if my unhealed parts ever made you feel small. I'm sorry for the times I let my stress speak louder than my love. Please know-my messiness was never a reflection of your worth. You are my greatest gift. And I'm still learning, even now, how to love you better.

Parenting is a journey of growth, of trial and error, of self-discovery. It's a messy, beautiful process, and I'm doing my best to navigate it with grace and patience. I'm learning to let go of perfection, to forgive myself for mistakes, and to show up with love and kindness, even when it's hard. You

deserve a mom who's whole, who's present, and who's committed to growth. And I'm committed to being that mom, to showing you what it means to be a strong, loving, and imperfect woman. I love you more than words can say, more than I can express, and I'll keep working to be the best mom I can be, for you.

11/12/2025

11/10/2025

This is for those of you who are quiet withdrawers or people pleasers.

11/07/2025

The truthiest truth I know is that our stories, with all their jagged edges and beauty and truth, are a gift to this world. Not despite what they hold, but because of it.
- Kelly Rae Roberts

11/07/2025