David Hampton, CPRC

10/03/2024

A second HuffPost article I’m happy to have been referenced and quoted in…

And how to answer the always-awkward question if you're on the receiving end.

10/01/2024

Recovery Month Post #4: Connection with That Which is Greater Than Ourselves: The Outward Facing Life

As we wrap up our September month of recovery awareness, we come to the final phase of the connection continuum which is connecting with That Which Is Greater Than Ourselves. That connection might be defined as a Higher Power, a connection with the God of our understanding as the 12-step community frames it.

For some, to try to embrace the abstract belief in a force that cannot be seen, heard, or engaged tangibly in the physical realm it may feel implausible and therefore impossible.

Believing that a power greater than ourselves could restore us as we turn our will over to the care of that unseen, unknown power all the while trying to accept this step as the opening invitation to freedom can feel counterintuitive to some.

When we encounter these cases of genuine agnosticism, I often try to introduce some alternate ways to address the God-shaped elephant in the room. When individuals who feel conflicted between their inability to embrace a certain belief yet confess their sincere desire for sobriety and clarity, I believe they can still experience the rewards of a sober life if we can help integrate them into what they do have in common with what we know a life in recovery offers.

If I consider that the ultimate objective in most recovery programs is one of being of service to others (step twelve in the traditional twelve-step modality), I must believe that the ultimate purpose in the program is to learn to embrace an outward facing life. Ultimately, learning to look beyond my own self-centered paradigm and avail myself as a recovering traveler to other travelers on the journey. Offering myself to others and connecting with them as part of the greater good is very much embracing That Which Is Greater Than Myself.

Given that, could we consider that when I appeal to the greater good by my connecting with others in the form of seeking their wisdom, embracing their hope for me, and borrowing their courage it is in fact an act of surrendering my will and turning myself over to the care of That Which Is Greater Than Myself? Can I consider these people who surround me in love and safety to be my “God with skin on” and my catalyst into an outward facing life?

Ultimately, most of us in recovery regardless of the program will agree that the truest joy will come to us in the form of caring for others. It is out of the gratitude for what we have been given that the narrow lens of our own myopic needs and perpetual dissatisfactions pivots to a more outward gaze. Living a life that is focused away from the center of my own reality will be the divine distraction that reminds me I am not the point.

Connecting with That Which Is Greater Than Myself will ultimately lead me to opportunities to go far beyond my comfort zones, my ability to love only those who love me, and see others through the lens of a Greater Good. I will have embraced the divine message in a tangible way when even in my doubts I experience the power of change that simply requires a willingness to be pleasing, not the illusion of certainty in my perceived perfect understandings.

(Painting by Clifford CLIFFORD BAILEY FINE ART)

09/27/2024

In this recovery month of September I’m honored to be mentioned in points 5 and 7 of this HuffPost article. Glad to know people are thinking about these kinds of questions theee days.

From open bars to Champagne toasts, weddings tend to be overflowing with alcohol. Here's how to make sure your sober friends don't feel uncomfortable.

09/22/2024

Recovery Month Post #3: Connection with Others: The Story We Tell Ourselves

Human beings are storytellers. We respond to stories, and we are the tellers of stories. We are also the stewards of our own stories. How and with whom we share them are at the core of our capacity to experience intimacy and willingness to be heard, seen, and known when we feel our most safe.

Relationship with others can be the difference between a life infused with encouragement and hope, or succumbing to living a life we feel the need to escape.

As I mentioned in my previous posts for the Recovery Month of September, our recovery hinges around how we invest in connection - with ourselves, connection with others, and connection with That Which Is Greater Than Ourselves.

Connecting with others and experiencing a sense of being heard, seen, and known by an empathetic witness to our story is a vital part of the human experience. Times when we find ourselves alone in our pain are traumatizing and underscore our belief that we are truly alone in the world rendering us to feel unlovable and invisible.

Our mistaken belief that our experiences are so unique and shameful that we cannot risk judgement or further stigma by inviting another caring soul into our story keeps us stuck in the cycles of escaping and numbing in solitude. The hypervigilant self-reliant individual who privatizes their wounds is almost always someone with a story of trauma. Reaching that individual is an exercise in persistence and patience. Helping them see themselves as a story to be heard and not a problem to be solved is paramount in building the emotional equity needed to build their trust.

Learning to trust happens in small, safe spaces with people who struggle with similar issues. They have learned to offer heartfelt understanding by encouraging free and honest communication with one another. Eventually, if we are willing to take the risk, we find ourselves in environments where we are genuinely happy to spend time with people who are in turn also happy to spend time with us.

The benefit in taking the risk is the sense of Joy we learn to derive from our new community. The neurology of Joy is powerful. So powerful and profound that it changes our brain chemistry. It reduces our anxiety levels, our symptoms of depression, and gives us all the “feel good” chemicals that our brains need to reassure us that this practice is worth repeating.

Connection in safe, nurturing community greatly diminishes our desire to use or act out when our needs for attachment are being met and validated in the embrace of a tribe who shares our story.

If ongoing recovery or continued sobriety has been a struggle, ask yourself if you are approaching it as more of a problem to be solved rather than a unique story to be heard. Embrace the power of sharing your story and letting the story of others connect you to the power of true attachment. The short-lived feeling of vulnerability will soon pale compared to the Joy of connection and belonging when we see ourselves as part of a shared bigger story.

Davidhamptoncprc.com

(Painting by Clifford CLIFFORD BAILEY FINE ART)

09/16/2024

Recovery Month Post #2: Connecting with Ourselves

In my previous post I mentioned that as part of the National Recovery Month of September I would share some thoughts regarding the importance of connection and our long-term recovery. Connection with ourselves, connection with others, and connection to that which is greater than ourselves resulting in a life that we no longer feel the need to escape.

Connection with ourselves begins with first realizing the ways we have avoided telling ourselves the truth. Many of us learned to judge ourselves, our feelings, and deny our wounds long ago to the point that we made a deep commitment to ourselves not to acknowledge them at all. Buried under denial and the anesthesia of what became our unwanted behaviors and relationships to substances we set about making the best of a life we only marginally had the capacity to experience.

Why does getting to know myself scare me so much? When and where did I learn that emotions aren’t safe or acceptable? Why do I avoid exploring my true motivations for my actions and decisions? What are my greatest fears? Where do I feel like I most thrive? When do I most tend to hide? What is my most secret shame? Where do I feel most heard, seen, and known and by whom? What do I truly believe about God? Am I loveable, or am I only loveable when I perform or exist for someone else’s pleasure? How do I interpret failure? What are my deepest resentments and how have they fueled my entitlement for my unwanted behaviors? Do I cast myself in my own story as either a victim or a hero but never owning my own part of an outcome? Where does my “all or nothing” thinking show up in my life? What are my favorite excuses for staying stuck?

These are questions that lead us into a fuller acceptance of ourselves, our reality, and what we are eventually willing to do about it. It is worth pointing out that it is during this journey that we experience putting distance between us and our disordered behaviors. Prior to that we are simply under our anesthesia of choice where our capacity to be rigorously honest will be greatly compromised.

There is a story we have been telling ourselves about ourselves for a very long time (or trying not to tell ourselves) that will present itself very soon once we are willing to share a long, mindful conversation with ourselves through a sober lens.

.com

09/11/2024

Recovery Month Post #1- Sept. 2024

In the earliest stages of recovery work, we talk a great deal about how connection and attachment are at the core of our disordered relationship to a substance or an unwanted behavior.

Connection with ourselves, connection with others, and connection with that which is greater than ourselves.

During this National Recovery Month of September I’ll be posting some tangible ways that we can specifically address why each of those areas of connection might be challenging to us and consequently sabotaging our attempts to have the freedom we so desperately desire. We don’t approach change by attacking the behavior. We approach long term change by first addressing what it is we believe about ourselves that has resulted in that disordered relationship to a substance or behavior.

I hope you’ll engage with me this month as we explore each of these areas that could make a difference in how we think about future change.

(Painting by Clifford CLIFFORD BAILEY FINE ART)

05/24/2024

Hey friends - My FB accounts have been hacked and hijacked the last few days. Please ignore requests for money, invitations to groups, comments, or random posts. FB and I have reset my account and gone through the process restoring it to me and hopefully, this is the end of the craziness. I wish I could bill for the time I've spent deleting and chasing these schemes. Sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused you as well.

05/23/2024