04/14/2026
There are moments in our lives where we find ourselves chasing people, chasing validation, chasing situations that feel just out of reach, and what we often fail to realise in those moments is that we are not actually chasing them, but instead we are unconsciously trying to resolve something much older, something rooted in earlier experiences where we learned that love had to be earned, attention had to be chased, and being chosen was never something that felt safe or certain.
Because when you really sit with it, the intensity of what you feel in these situations is rarely about the present moment alone, but rather about the familiar emotional pattern that your mind recognises, the one that whispers that if you can just get this person to choose you, if you can just prove your worth one more time, then maybe this time it will heal the version of you that once felt overlooked, unseen, or not enough.
And so you stay longer than you should, you try harder than you need to, and you slowly begin to abandon parts of yourself in the process, convincing yourself that this is effort, that this is love, that this is patience, when in reality it is a quiet form of self-betrayal that feels familiar enough to be mistaken for connection.
But something shifts when you begin to recognise the pattern instead of repeating it, when you realise that the question was never “why aren’t they choosing me,” but rather “why does this feel familiar, and why am I still choosing something that requires me to abandon myself to keep it.”
Because the moment you start becoming aware of what you are reenacting, you create space to choose differently, to stop chasing what reflects your past wounds and start choosing what aligns with your present worth, even when that choice feels uncomfortable, unfamiliar, and requires you to walk away from what once felt like everything.
It’s time to put yourself first. I have my next webinar where we deep dive into this topic. Comment “over give” and I’ll share more details.
Keep shining,
Dr L.
