Two Roads Counseling

05/28/2023

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CszC7nDtO2e/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

06/24/2022

We are human. So effing human. This means that we are going to:⁣
* Do things that hurt people, even people we love.⁣
* Say things that we regret, maybe even the moment after the words tumble out our mouths.⁣
* Make choices that are short-sighted, self-serving, and impulsive.⁣
Because we are stressed or mad or triggered. Because we forget our true essence which is patient and connected.⁣
Because we didn’t know better. ⁣
Because even though Maya Angelou very clearly told us that when we know better, we can do better, sometimes we get petty and surly.⁣
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Let’s talk about forgiving ourselves.⁣
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First things first, forgiving ourselves is not about “letting ourselves off the hook.” It’s not about acting like the harm wasn’t harmful or the hurt wasn’t hurtful. Accountability and forgiveness go together like chocolate and peanut butter!⁣
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Forgiving ourselves is about holding the big picture in mind:⁣
* “I am more than my sharp tongue or impulsive action.”⁣
* “I don’t need to be perfect to be worthy of love and connection.”⁣
* “I can learn and grow from my screw ups.”⁣
If you grew up in a home where your behavior was conflated with your identity, you’re gonna need to sit with those 3 ideas for a hot minute.⁣
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These 3 ideas form the basis for forgiving ourselves. We need to forgive ourselves for our sanity, our serenity, our healing.⁣
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But we also need to forgive ourselves for the sake of our relationships. Why?⁣
* Without self-forgiveness, we will offload our self-soothing, demanding that other people tell us we OK because we cannot do it ourselves.⁣
* Without self-forgiveness, the stakes will feel so high that we will not be able to bear witness to the other person’s hurt… and their pain will go unseen/invalidated.⁣
* Without self-forgiveness, our outlook on the world becomes suspicious & edgy. We look for more & more evidence that we suck because we are both afraid & convinced that we do. We can’t create safety, therefore others cannot be at ease in our presence.⁣
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Mantras to help us forgive ourselves:⁣
* Learning from the regrettable experience helps me accept that it happened.⁣
* I am more than my worst moments.⁣
* I am a good person who did a bad thing.⁣
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12/31/2021

A woman who lost her home in the 2015 Valley Fire shares 15 tips for helping fire victims and their families.

12/31/2021

12/27/2021