Polaris Counseling Center, LLC

Polaris Counseling Center, LLC Individual and Couples Therapy in Burke, VA specializing in Trauma, Relationships and Women. This is a safe space for all who need one. Dawn Weiss Smith, LCSW

11/05/2025

Relational trauma isn’t usually about one big event — it’s about the patterns that repeated over time. The moments that taught your body love and danger could show up in the same place.

Trauma often builds through repetition

* how often something happened
* how long it lasted
* how intense it felt.

When it comes to relationships, healing really depends on whether there’s repair, accountability, and a real effort to change. That’s the hard part.

If you notice these patterns in your relationship, try to pause before reacting or labeling what’s happening.
Notice what it stirs up inside you.
For some people, that might mean having a repair conversation. For others, it might mean creating some space or getting support to sort out what feels safe.

Every relationship is different, and every nervous system moves at its own pace.

The goal isn’t to blame anyone — it’s to understand what your body’s been trying to protect you from, so you can start choosing connections that actually feel safe.

11/02/2025

We often talk about “triggers” like they’re something to avoid at all costs—those moments that make your heart race, your stomach drop, or your mind spiral. But what if triggers aren’t the enemy?

What if they’re actually messengers?

A trigger is your nervous system’s way of saying, “something here feels familiar.” It’s not random or irrational; it’s rooted in past experiences—often ones where we felt unsafe, unseen, or powerless.

When those old feelings resurface, your body tries to protect you the best way it knows how: by reacting.

When we feel “triggered” - it’s because we are hearing a message that is different than the one being conveyed.

The key isn’t to fight your triggers or shame yourself for having them. It’s to slow down and get curious.

Ask yourself:

What is my body remembering right now?
What emotion is underneath this reaction?
What part of me needs comfort or reassurance?
When we approach triggers with compassion rather than fear, they lose their power to control us. They become guideposts toward healing—showing us where our attention and care are most needed.

Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never be triggered. It means that when you are, you’ll know how to listen instead of react.

10/28/2025

Sometimes we direct our resentment toward our partner when, deep down, we’re angry at ourselves for neglecting our own needs.

Resentment can grow from different roots: one comes from being unheard, and another from staying silent. The second kind is harder to face—it asks us to take responsibility for the ways we’ve abandoned ourselves.

10/24/2025

Something therapy teaches over and over: Boundaries aren't walls - they're doors.

They don't shut people out; they show people how to come in.

We teach people how we want to be treated. Boundaries create safety and autonomy, and eliminates resentment.

This is what the “Let Them” theory gets wrong in my opinion. It can be used as an excuse to avoid difficult conversations or conflict, which is completely counterproductive for relationships.

It oversimplifies complex relational dynamics, especially in families where navigating conflicts and understanding each other's emotional responses is crucial.

It can be a tool to avoid advocating for yourself, particularly for people-pleasers, leading to the neglect of your personal needs.

You don’t have to Let Them. You can dig in, deal, advocate or shut it down.

10/22/2025

Meditation, breathwork, yoga, cold plunges, affirmations, journals—all these are wonderful tools. However, they can’t fix what you’re still trying to avoid feeling. The issue isn’t with the practice itself, but with the intention behind it.

If you’re using these tools to sidestep emotions rather than embrace them, you’re not truly regulating—you’re coping, masking, pretending. Genuine regulation isn’t about achieving calmness. It’s about feeling safe enough to navigate emotions without being flooded.

Healing goes beyond deep breathing and maintaining calm. It’s about exploring what your body is shielding you from and connecting with it, not resisting it. Your body is your protector, responding to its environment. The goal isn’t to remain calm; it’s to forge a connection with all parts of yourself so your body no longer feels the need to protect you from what you’ve already survived.

I love when my furry clients join in! Meet Desi 🩷
10/22/2025

I love when my furry clients join in! Meet Desi 🩷

Internal Family Systems will change your life.
10/22/2025

Internal Family Systems will change your life.

Address

5274 Lyngate Court
Burke, VA
22015

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 7pm
Tuesday 9am - 7pm
Wednesday 9am - 7pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 2pm
Saturday 9am - 1pm

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