01/07/2019
I realize I haven’t been sharing my personal journey through pregnancy.
To be honest, it’s been a challenge on an emotional and mental level and I’ve felt conflicted whether to share something so vulnerable.
But, given I ask my clients to be vulnerable and authentic, it’s only right for me to follow my own advice (hey, I’m human too 🙃)
The truth is, I never wanted kids. It wasn’t until I was in my mid 30’s when I softened to the idea that MAYBE one day I will have a child, but it still never was a drive.
In some ways, I felt ashamed for not being like every other female I came across, who couldn’t wait to be a mom, who got baby fever and all mushy anytime they saw a child. Sometimes I thought I was totally “weird” because I didn’t seem to possess this intrinsic need of motherhood.
It wasn’t until I met my husband where I was really open to the idea, but STILL, I was in no hurry. He, on the other hand, had always wanted a family. This was hard for me initially because I adore my husband and I want to give him the world and his dreams.
But still, I felt scared.
The real hesitation behind pregnancy has been this deep fear of labor and child birth.
Have you seen someone giving birth!? 😳 I mean, WOW!! The visual alone was enough to send my uterus packing and close shop. ✋🏼 Nope! I didn’t want any part of it...and then, it happened.
I missed my period and the panic ensued 😱 and then the doctor confirmed, I was pregnant!
Holy sh*t, this is happening!
There was no turning back, in my mind, this was all part of God’s plan and all I could do was trust in His plan and walk in faith.
Now I had to battle other fears. One being, my self image. Going from fit, to watching my body morph into, what feels like someone else’s, and to watch my belly, thighs and butt grow. Not gonna lie, it’s been a challenge, but I’m choosing to embrace it, rather than to have a meltdown over it.
-It’s natural
-It’s beautiful
-It’s the creation of a new life ♥️
To be able to feel her move is an incredible (and strange) feeling, but it reminds me there is so much beauty in the world. I feel humbled daily to know that I am blessed to go through this journey, to know that I can bring a a dream come true for my husband and watch myself grow as an individual and embrace this new life and change coming our way.
All this to share and say, you are capable of so much more than you think! Even though I’m petrified of labor and birth, I know that our bodies are created for this. I’m also choosing to go all natural, no drugs, no hospital, just a team of amazing midwives!
Yesterday we went to the beach and instead of feeling self conscious about my changing body, I let it out.
A freeing feeling!
So, here I am, 29 weeks pregnant 🤰🏼! Sharing this with you all, as a reminder to not only myself, but to you, embrace the journey you are in right now. Don’t fight it, learn to grow from it, take the positives and run with them. Look at the negatives and fears as a platform to learn from, to overcome them and know you CAN do anything!!
P.S. isn’t my husband adorable? He always makes me feel better about myself and brings so much laughter and joy xo